5. Chapter 5
Mermaid Motel
Smuggler’s Hideaway
Hi Ben!
I enclosed a picture, but if you laugh at it, I will hunt you down and put itching powder into all of your underwear. I don’t care that I don’t have the first clue where you are. I. Will. Find. You.
Just ask my brothers how good I am at finding people.
They thought they could hide a party from me because I’m the ‘baby’.
(Don’t ever call me baby or I’ll have to sic Sammy the seal on you.) Ha!
Joke was on them when I showed up at the barn on the other side of the island and poured salt into everyone’s drinks.
I might have ruined the entire sneaky thing though, when I signed a note, “This revenge was handcrafted by Sadie. Baby of the family. Overlooked no more.”
Although, at the time, it was sweet, sweet revenge.
But, seriously, I will never ask your exact location. I understand the need for secrecy. Girl Scout promise.
So, the picture. You have to ignore the bags underneath my eyes. Mermaid season is soooo busy. I can’t wait for it to end. At least I replaced the night manager who ran off with a mermaid (Why am I surprised? This happens every year!) with Dakota.
Dakota is awesome. She also totally stole my whole salt in a drink revenge prank but I’ll allow it since the man totally deserved it. In my opinion, he deserved a lot worse but that’s a whole different story.
Back to my picture which you will definitely, one-hundred percent not be laughing at!
It’s not my fault I’m throwing my hands out. It’s Hazel’s fault. She’s the sister who signed me up for this pen pal thing. She didn’t actually think I’d go through with it.
Does she not know me? I don’t back down from anything. Not even sending a picture to a soldier I’ve only written twice. My middle name should be ‘Challenge accepted!’
Shoot a smuggler. Now, you’re probably curious what my middle name is. Welp. I opened this can of mermaid food. I can’t blame anyone else.
My middle name is … wait for it… Bertha.
I know. It’s horrible, right? I begged my parents to change it when I was in high school after some football jock discovered the name and teased me about it. He regretted his teasing after I put hair-removal creme in his shampoo bottle.
I think I’ve made my point. No making fun of my picture or I’ll get my revenge. I’m a highly experienced revenge maker. Oh, I’m totally putting that on my resume. Not that I ever plan to get another job.
I love my job as the manager of the Mermaid Motel.
Someday I plan to save up enough money and buy this place.
I figure another two-hundred years or so and I’ll have enough for a down payment.
Or maybe I should come up with some kind of fundraiser.
Smugglers love fun and games. I bet I could think of something.
I better run now. My shift is nearly over and I want to mail this letter today.
Stay safe,
Sadie