20. Father Alexander
Father Alexander
Well.
I spent another night standing outside of Celine’s room, listening to her touch herself.
Maybe she’s right.
Maybe I am stalking her.
When I followed her from the dining hall, it wasn’t because Father Keaton told me to keep an eye on her. Well, part of it was, but the other part was that I’m becoming obsessed with the woman and want to know what she is doing at all times.
That is mainly why I came up with her punishment of the nightly prayer after she confessed her sins. So I could see her. I don’t understand what she is doing to me. I’ve never felt this way about a woman before.
Even though she hasn’t been in the convent long, it’s like she has crawled under my skin and made a home there. That’s what scares me the most. The fact that Celine has only been here for almost two weeks, and she’s already making me feel like I’m losing my mind.
Not only am I fixated on her, but I also trusted her enough to tell her about Father Keaton and Joanna. She thought something was up between them, and I didn’t hide my reaction to her information very well, which meant I had to tell her what I knew.
And then she had to go and call me a prude. God, if she only knew my life before this. If I had met her then, I would have fucked her by now. I would have had her screaming my name and begging for my cock.
But that was the old me.
The new me can’t do that anymore. I made a vow. One that I’m on the verge of breaking.
Especially because I almost kissed her. I was so close, our lips a breath away from each other. I could have easily closed the distance and touched my mouth to hers, but in the back of my mind, I knew that if I did that, it would be over.
Everything I’ve worked for—joining the priesthood, taking the vow, and bettering myself—would be for nothing if I crossed that line with Celine, because she would become the only thing that mattered. She’d be the only person I cared about, and that is terrifying.
I’m consumed by a woman I barely even know.
Part of me doesn’t want to go to the library again for nightly prayer.
I know it’s wrong of me not to follow through on my word and meet her every night, but being alone with her has become too risky.
When I see her in the corridors or the dining hall, there are people around, and although I still get that urge to touch her, it’s easier to fight when there are witnesses.
I’m sitting in the dining hall now for lunch, Father Keaton on my right as he always is. I try my best to be normal and carry on a conversation with him so that he doesn’t suspect I know his secret.
He talks to me about the things we always talk about during our meals. This conversation is about Prayer on Sunday. I’m not speaking this time; just listening to him and then sitting in the confessional after he is done.
Celine catches my attention when she sits down next to Joanna. She doesn’t bother to look at me, and I don’t expect her to. After how I left her in the library the other night, I’m sure she is pissed at me.
I watch her talk with Joanna. From the snippets I can hear, she is talking about the movie we are showing. Celine doesn’t seem to care too much about the topic. Usually, when she stops paying attention to the conversation, it’s when she sneaks glances at me.
Not today, though. Her eyes remain on her plate as she eats.
Under the table, I squeeze my hand into a fist. Why am I so frustrated that she isn’t looking at me?
My eyes slide from her to Joanna, who is stealing a glance at Father Keaton.
It’s only a split second, but I don’t miss it.
I move my head to look at the man beside me, attempting not to make it obvious, and when my eyes land on him, I see him briefly look at Joanna.
“Will you see if Celine will be joining us for our movie night?” Father Keaton asks.
Judging by the expression on her face when Joanna was talking about it, I’m gonna say that she won’t be there. But I can’t tell him that, or he’d know I was watching her.
“I can ask her.”
“Good. I think she’d benefit from the film.”
“I agree.” Do I really?
“There are some other things that I wish to discuss with you.”
My heart stops. “About Celine?”
“No.” He shakes his head, causing my shoulders to relax. “About things I have planned for the end of October. I want you to be part of the event.”
“Event?” I question.
“We can discuss the details later.” He gestures around to the women in the dining hall. “When there aren’t so many ears.”
“You don’t want them to overhear?”
He bobs his head side to side like he is choosing his words carefully. “I want it to be a surprise.”
“Okay. I can meet whenever you need to.”
“Let’s set up a meeting for next week. How does Wednesday morning sound?”
I nod. “That’s good with me.”
He smiles and continues eating.
When I finally pull my attention away from him and let it land on the other table, I notice Celine is no longer sitting there eating lunch.
Sliding my gaze to the door, I don’t see her there either. Shit. Did she take the moment of me being distracted to sneak out of here? She wouldn’t try to escape again, would she?
Panic begins to set in.
I grab my plate and excuse myself from the table. After setting my plate in the bin, I begin to seek her out. Down the corridor, I quicken my steps to reach the hall that leads to the exit of the building, but stop in my tracks when I hear her voice.
It isn’t coming from the direction of the lobby, but from the courtyard. A light laugh echoes out in the open, and as I approach the entry to the space, I almost don’t see her. She is hidden behind one of the trees, back turned toward me.
Who the hell is she talking to? If I remember correctly, Esther was still sitting at the table when I left.
I keep my footsteps light as I draw close so she doesn’t hear me. Once I’m behind her, I see a black device in her hand. A phone? Where in the world did she manage to find that?
“What are you doing?” The question comes out harsher than I meant it to. She whips around, surprise etched on her face. Celine closes the flip phone and hides it behind her back. “I’m going to ask you again. What are you doing?”
Her shoulders lift. “Admiring the tree.”
“Admiring the tree?”
“Mhm.” A hand comes out from behind her back, and she pats the tree trunk. “This is a nice one. Very… girthy.”
“Girthy?” I mimic with an amused tone.
“Yup.” She looks away from it and past my shoulder, and points. “Would you look at that? I’ll be able to admire this tree from my room. I think I am going to do that. Get a different view of it, you know?”
She goes to step around me, but I stop her by placing a hand on her shoulder. “Give me the phone, Celine.”
“I can’t.” Her mouth twists. “It’s not mine.”
“Let me guess. Esther?”
“Please don’t take it. I promise I won’t use it again.”
“That doesn’t mean Esther won’t. There is a strict no phone policy.”
“I know, but I had to talk to my friends. I came to this convent abruptly and had to let them know that I was okay.” Her eyes shine with tears. Dammit. I don’t want to see her cry. “They are my life outside of this place. I couldn’t have them worrying about me.”
Here I am, about to break the rules for her. “Give it back to Esther.”
“Thank you,” she says with so much appreciation.
“But if I see either of you using it, I will take it away.”
“I won’t use it again, I promise.” I highly doubt she will keep her word. She is just going to make sure I’m not around when she does use it.
“Since I have you here,” I drop my hand from her shoulder and create distance between us. “Father Keaton wants to know if you are attending the movie night.”
“I thought it wasn’t mandatory,” she says, tucking the phone into the top of her dress and into her bra.
I watch as she hides it, making it invisible beneath the fabric, before I answer. “It’s not. He thinks it would be good for you.”
“I’ve already seen it,” she informs me, but I can’t tell if she is being honest. “My parents forced me to watch it when I was younger. Longest and most boring four hours of my life.”
“It is a long movie.”
“Are you going to be sitting through it?”
“It may not be mandatory for you, but it is for me.”
“That sucks.” She curls her lips in disgust. “Maybe you can sneak out. I’m sure no one would notice. Is Father Keaton going to be there?”
That’s a good question. He never told me if he was going to attend the movie. “I’m not sure what his plan is.”
“Maybe he is going to skip it and have alone time with you know who.” She wiggles her brows.
I scrunch my face up. “Don’t say it like that.”
“Would you rather me say it how I said it in the library?”
“No.”
“Okay then.” She smiles. “Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to my room. I could use a nap.”
“Didn’t sleep well last night?” I already know the answer to this question.
After her first orgasm, she didn’t stop. She kept going. Pushing herself to see how many she could draw out before she couldn’t take any more. It was well past midnight when her fourth orgasm ripped through her, and she immediately fell asleep.
The act of her giving herself multiple orgasms made me jealous. I should have been in there with her. I should have been the one to pleasure her.
It should have been my fingers inside of her, causing her to become breathless as orgasms hit one after the other. I should have been the one pushing her over the edge, watching her lips part as she spirals from the euphoria.
I should have been in there, with her, feeling how wet she got every time she came.
It should have been me.
“I slept fine. Just didn’t fall asleep til late.” The exhaustion she feels makes her yawn. Images of me shoving my cock in her mouth, fucking her until tears spill from her eyes, flood my head.
Celine’s eyes fall, and I know she can see how hard I am by the way her cheeks start to blush. If only she knew what I was thinking. Her eyes turn away, and she clears her throat.
“Yeah…” she draws out the word, “I’m going to take a nap.”
“Do you need me to escort you?” Tell me no because if I walk you to your room, I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold back.
“No. I’ll be fine on my own.”
With one more subtle gaze at my slacks, she curves around me and rushes to her room. I don’t follow her, and I won’t. Standing outside her door in the middle of the night is one thing, but doing it during the day, when everyone is still awake, is too dangerous.
Instead, I take a deep breath and head back to my room. I’ll just have to imagine the way she sounds when I’m alone.