33. Father Alexander
Father Alexander
It took me an hour to clean up last night. After having to dispose of the cloth in a dumpster out back and finding a new one in the laundry room to lay on the altar, as well as something to soak up all the holy water that was spilled, I was beat.
Between the long flight, fucking Celine, and cleaning, I went to my room and passed out. I didn’t even bother changing out of my sweats before I fell onto my bed and let the darkness consume me.
This morning I slept in, which I never do, but it was much needed. I’ve never been so exhausted in my life, but when the clock on my nightstand read nine-thirty, I knew I had to fight through the fatigue and get on with my day.
I showered, got dressed, and went to the dining hall, but by the time I got there, breakfast was over, and the room was empty.
The women had already gone to their lesson for the day, but I was able to grab a muffin from the kitchen.
It sits half-eaten on my desk as I stare at my computer screen, dissociating.
Movement in the hall brings me back to reality, and I see Father Keaton standing in the doorway to my office. A kind smile is plastered on his face, and his expression doesn’t let on that he knows anything, or that I do. But then again, he probably assumes that I haven’t spoken to Celine yet.
“How was the visit with your mother?” his tone is friendly, but it only makes my body feel on fire with how normal he is acting.
I swallow the anger, letting it sit deep in my stomach. “It was good. Very much needed.”
“I’m glad.”
I force a smile. “How were things while I was gone?”
“Peaceful as always,” he says with a tight smile.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I know I should tell him what my mother and I talked about with my decision to leave the priesthood, but with the threats that were given while I was away, it makes my plan a bit more challenging.
If I tell him I’ve decided to leave, I wouldn’t be here to help Celine.
And I need to be. Especially after his threat to her that he would make sure she never leaves here.
I need to make sure there is an out for her before I tell him about me departing from the church. So for now, I go on pretending that there is nothing terrible happening under the convent roof.
“That is good to hear.”
Father Keaton takes a step into my office. “While you were away, however, I did come up with a more solid plan for our event. It will be in a week, on Halloween, which will give Sister Alice and me enough time to get everything in place.”
“Are there any important details I need to be made aware of?”
“No, I just need you to be there,” he states. “And I expect all of the women to participate, even Celine.”
The sound of her name leaving his mouth makes my body go rigid, but I keep my face neutral. “I will speak with her about it.”
He considers my words before he nods and dismisses the conversation. “It’s good to have you back.”
I offer him a smile as he leaves my office and heads into his own. As soon as he shuts his office door, I let out a long exhale and sink back into my chair.
Running a hand over my face, my brain tries to comprehend all of the shit that is going on. He just lied to me, which, given his extracurricular activities, doesn’t surprise me that he would be a good liar.
How does he hold all these secrets with a calm demeanor?
When I was holding in the secret of my feelings about Celine and his indiscretions, I felt like I was a ticking time bomb, waiting to blow.
I sigh again and push myself up from my chair. I won’t be getting any work done anyway, not with all this shit going on.
I leave my office and venture through the halls. A few women linger, others leaving the classrooms to go about their day, and when my eyes find her, my heart starts doing flips in my chest.
She walks out of the room, followed by Esther, and they both wear an annoyed expression. Celine slows down so Esther can walk beside her, and they continue talking about something, the annoyance on their faces never dulling.
Celine shakes her head at something Esther says to her, and then her eyes finally look up from the floor, and when she sees me, a faint smile plays on her lips.
She says something to Esther, who looks down the hall at me, attempting to hide a knowing grin.
My eyes stay on Esther for a moment while she mumbles to Celine.
I watch her disappear around a corner, no doubt going to the hallway she shouldn’t be in. When I peel my eyes away, I find Celine standing in front of me.
“Hey,” she says with a soft smile.
“Hey,” I respond, glancing behind her again.
Celine looks to see what I am staring at, but finds nothing. She turns back toward me with her brows dipped in confusion. “What is it?”
“Does Esther know?” I question.
“About?”
Keeping my voice low, I say, “Us.”
Her cheeks instantly go red, and I let out a sigh of disappointment. “She won’t tell anyone, I promise.”
“You’ve already broken two of your promises by using the phone and telling your friends about us.” I remind her.
“I know, and I’m sorry,” she pouts. “But I swear, Esther can be trusted. She won’t go blabbing about us to anyone.”
“I trust you, Celine. Her, not so much.”
“Well, I trust her,” she says, her chin lifting in defiance. “And if you trust me as much as you say you do, then you have nothing to worry about.”
I study her face for a moment, really taking in her beauty. Those stunning green eyes that send me into a trance. Those lips that I can taste for hours and never get tired of. And right now, that is all I want to do. I want to grab her by the waist, bring her to me, and stake my claim, but I can’t.
“If you trust her, then okay.” She grins at my words. “We need to talk, though.”
A serious expression takes over her face because she knows what I mean.
With a slight nod, she steps around me and walks down the hall.
Scanning my surroundings, I notice the women have dispersed, leaving only two who are talking with one another.
Turning on my heel, I walk with my hands behind my back, following behind Celine to where she steps into the chapel.
Her movements pause as she stares ahead to the altar and the fresh sheet draped over it. Her head then turns to look where a new bowl filled with holy water sits on its pedestal.
A smirk tugs at my lips as I remember the events that took place on it and desperately want it to happen again. Even if it isn’t on the altar, anywhere else would do. I just am dying to be inside of her again.
She clears her throat, and without a glance in my direction, she steps into the confessional booth. I enter my side and sit down.
“Smart of you to choose to have this conversation in here,” I say once I get situated. “I figured you would have picked the library.”
“Sister Greta is most likely in there,” she points out. “So what’s going on? Did you come up with something?”
“Sort of.”
I hear Celine shift, and when I look at the partition between us, she is facing my direction.
“What do you mean, sort of?”
Inhaling a deep breath, I shift in my seat to face her. “I want Father Keaton to pay for what he is doing to those women.”
“Me too…” she says with confusion. “Should we sneak back into his office and try to gain access to his laptop?”
I think back to that day and the stress it caused me. “No. You are going to do nothing. I have somewhat of a plan, but I can’t carry it out with you still here.”
“Wha—I’m sorry.” A puzzled laugh leaves her. “I don’t understand. What does my needing to leave have to do with your plan?”
Now is the time to tell her. “I’ve decided to leave the church.”
Under the dim light, I can see Celine narrow her eyes. “Because of what is happening here? Are you going to find a new church to go to?”
“The things that are happening here are somewhat of the reason why I’m leaving,” I admit. “And, no, I won’t be going to another church.”
“Then that means—” I allow her time to come to the realization, and when she does, her brows shoot up. “You’re not going to be a priest anymore?”
“Correct.”
“I did not think that was going to be part of your plan.”
“It originally wasn’t, but now, knowing all that I do, it is actually the perfect timing for me to have this epiphany.”
“What epiphany?”
“That I don’t want this to be my life anymore.
Being a priest was a good idea at the time of my life when I needed a sense of direction.
Now that I’ve escaped the darkness, I want to live my life.
I will still have a relationship with God outside of here, but I just—this isn’t the life I want anymore. ”
Celine’s head drops, her eyes staring at the floor while she takes in the information. “You said that the stuff that Father Keaton is doing is part of the reason you want to leave. What’s the other?”
I stay quiet, thoughts speeding around in my head as I try to find the right words to say. Me telling her that I have feelings for her could be disastrous, but after last night, I have some hope.
“You.”
Her eyes drift up to mine. “Me?”
“Being with you has made me realize how much I missed my life outside of this place.”
“So what you are saying is that you miss being with a woman.” Her tone is harsh, and it hits me like an arrow to the heart.
“No, that’s not it at all,” I reassure her. “Being with you reminded me of that freedom I used to have, and I want that freedom back.”
She remains silent for a moment, processing all that I’ve said. “Father Keaton won’t be happy.”
“I know. Which is why I’m waiting to tell him until after you leave.”
“Alex, we don’t know when I’ll be getting out of here. One of us needs to get out of this place, and given the opportunity you have, it has to be you first.”