CH 8 - #revelation
Riley
Song: “If I Didn’t Love You” by Jason Aldean & Carrie Underwood
“WHAT ON EARTH happened, Riley?” my momma asked.
I couldn’t speak. I just fell into her arms and kept crying. Then I felt my daddy’s head leaning on mine. About a minute later, I was composed enough to tell my parents the news.
“Chad came to Nana’s Kitchen,” I said.
My momma nodded. “He stopped by here to surprise you. We told him you weren’t here, but where you were eating lunch with the girls.”
“Well, Rhys and Jackson were eating lunch with us when Chad walked in. Another thing that you and Daddy weren’t aware of is Rhys coming over here last night and us talking outside. He and I agreed to put our past behind us and be friends.”
“I get the impression that something happened between Rhys and Chad at Nana’s Kitchen.”
“Something did. Chad didn’t think Rhys eating lunch with me was right. He was rude to Rhys and ordered me to meet him beside his car. I did what he said, we started arguing, and then Chad grabbed my upper arms and shook me in anger.”
“Where is he now?” my daddy asked, clearly angry.
“On his way back to Fort Worth. He expected me to follow him, but I said no.”
“Has he ever shaken you before?”
I glanced at my momma, Rachel, and Macie. “One time. Then he threw me down onto his living room floor and stood over me while pointing his finger in my face and yelling.”
“Riley, why didn’t you say something to your momma and me?”
“I didn’t want to worry y’all. It’s between Chad and me. After that one time, he was so sorry. He apologized to me for a week—repeatedly crying while down on his knees in front of me, holding my hands, and promising over and over that he’d never take his anger out on me again. He showered me with bouquets of red roses and gifts, too.”
“Did the incident at his house scare you, honey?” my momma asked.
“Not at first. Initially, I got pissed off and yelled back at him. I also kicked him in his balls so that he’d leave me alone, which he did. I left his house after that, but later, I got scared once I’d processed everything. I knew Chad had a temper, but he’d never taken it out on me until then.”
“What on earth made him so angry at you?”
“He and I were supposed to go out to eat with his boss and his boss’s wife after I got off work, but my last patient for the day was late for her appointment. She was an elderly, widowed woman who was so sweet and apologetic that I decided to go ahead and clean her teeth instead of rescheduling her. Chad seemed fine when I called him to let him know I was running behind. But I realized he wasn’t fine when I got to his house an hour and a half later. He said my lateness embarrassed him, so he canceled our supper plans. Then he did what he did to me. He was like a completely different person.”
My momma reached up and touched my cheek. “Eldest daughter of mine, I am so sorry you went through that. Then and today. No man should ever lay his hands on a woman in anger.”
When she spoke those words, my thoughts returned to Rhys, and I broke down crying again.
“Rachel and Macie, did y’all know about Chad shaking and throwing Riley down?” she asked them.
They both said no, and it was the truth.
While I kept soaking up the comfort of my momma’s arms, my sister and Macie told her and my daddy the rest of the story. They let them know about Rhys’s gallantry, which had come in the form of him punching Chad in the face and knocking him on his ass. My parents both smiled and sighed in relief. My daddy even clapped his hands.
I finally told him and my momma about my plan to ask for a leave of absence from work and stay in Cypress Hills while I figured out what to do with my life. I knew I wouldn’t hear another peep from Chad, and I was okay with that reality, too, even as much as it hurt.
My parents suggested my sister, Macie, and I relax in the swimming pool. We were all for it and immediately went upstairs to change into our swimsuits. We walked outside to my momma and daddy’s oasis backyard a few minutes later, where we’d spent countless summer days.
“How are you feeling about everything?” Macie asked me.
She and Rachel were lounging on inflatable chairs in the pool, drinking Solo cups of sauvignon blanc while a pool noodle kept me afloat.
“Hurt. Angry. In disbelief over how easily Chad called it quits with me.”
“He didn’t mean what he said.”
“Yes, he did. I saw it in his eyes.”
“I’m telling you, Riley, he was just running his big mouth because you wounded his pride—which you did so beautifully, by the way. But after he thinks about his horrible words and actions, he’s going to contact you. He doesn’t know he’s going to do that yet because all he can see is that you and Rhys are the ones to blame for this ordeal. Not himself.”
“Rhys isn’t to blame, and neither am I. We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know you didn’t. We all do. Understand, though, that until Chad realizes the error of his ways, he will continue believing all of the above and thinking he’s got you under his thumb. He’s waiting for you to call him and apologize.”
I huffed. “That’s never going to happen. I’m not sorry about Chad seeing Rhys sitting beside me at lunch. I’m not sorry about Rhys hitting him. I’m not sorry about staying in Cypress Hills instead of following Chad back to Fort Worth. The only thing I’m sorry about is placing part of the blame on Rhys for the incident.”
“He knows you didn’t mean it. I texted him that after you said it on the way here. I’ve been sending him updates on you because he’s worried sick about you.”
My heart cinched up. “Thanks for letting him know.”
Macie tipped her cup of wine at me and took a sip. “I need to know something.”
“What?”
“Why didn’t you tell Rachel and me about Chad abusing you before.”
“I didn’t want to involve anyone.”
“Riley, I am your best friend, and this is your sister.” Macie pointed at her.
“I know, but still. I didn’t want to worry y’all or my momma and daddy. I truly believed Chad would never touch me like that again. He fucking disgusts me.”
“Good!” Macie and Rachel said together.
“When I picture his face, it sickens me. But what sickens me even more is my being foolish enough to trust Chad again.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, BFF. You’ve always been a second-chance kind of girl because your heart’s so big and forgiving. That’s not a flaw.”
I sighed. “Thanks.”
“Back to what I was saying about Chad contacting you… Are you going to answer his call or reply to his text when you receive it? Because one of the two will happen, if not both, within the next few days.”
“He’s not going to contact me.”
“Men like Chad are predictable. Remember, I dealt with one just like him.”
“I know you did.”
“So?”
“Let me put you both at ease,” I said, looking at my girls. “If Chad contacts me in any form, I’m not responding. Okay?”
Rachel nodded while Macie kept staring at me. Then she said, “Even if he doesn’t contact you—although I feel in my bones that he is—you’re going to start feeling other emotions besides hurt and anger. They’ll mix you up inside, too, and tempt you to return to what’s familiar. But you’ve got to be strong, BFF.”
“Well, it’s hard to be that way when listening to songs like that one,” I said, motioning toward her cellphone lying on the pool deck.
The corners of her mouth curled up. “But that’s not a Chad song.”
I didn’t say another word. Instead, I swam over to the side of the pool, set down my cup of wine, and started over “If I Didn’t Love You” by Jason Aldean and Carrie Underwood. Then I rested my arms and head on the edge of the deck while listening to the lyrics and remembering when Rhys sent this song to me.
It was exactly one month to the day after I ended our relationship that I received his shocking text. I was at my duplex, lying in bed and unable to sleep, when my cellphone chimed a little before midnight. I gasped at seeing Rhys’s name displayed on the screen, and then my heart dropped when I saw the song he wanted me to listen to. I knew better than to tap on the link, but I did it anyway.
When I heard the first lyrics, the tears I’d been holding back began flowing like a waterfall and continued until well after the song ended. I kept staring at my cellphone, desperately wanting to reply to Rhys. I didn’t know what to say, though. Nothing other than, “I’m sorry for breaking your heart—and I still love you, too.”
I finally gave in and typed out those words to him. Then I deleted them, tossed my cellphone to the foot of my bed, and cried myself to sleep.