CH 25 - #firstlove
Riley
I HAD JUST pulled into my reserved spot in the dental office parking lot when Chad responded to the text I’d sent him yesterday about him coming into my duplex and sleeping in my bed.
Chad:I haven’t been there.
Me: I know you have. When I got back from Cypress Hills yesterday, the accent pillows on my bed were out of place. You never could remember how I liked them. Or maybe you do and just don’t care.
Chad:I’ve always cared. The dark blue pillow with a crocheted crescent moon and stars goes in the middle. The gold-tasseled ones go on either side of it, and the star-shaped pillows go on both ends. But the star-shaped pillow that partly unraveled after you washed it and later sewed up goes on your side of the bed.
I didn’t know what to say to him or Rhys. I’d been wrong about this entire matter and felt like an idiot. Although it wasn’t like me, I was the one who had misarranged my accent pillows by putting the mended star-shaped one on the opposite side of my bed. I did it probably because my mind was on going to Cypress Hills later that day, and I was worried about running into Rhys.
After taking a minute to collect myself, I replied to Chad.
Me:My mistake. I apologize.
Chad:It’s ok.
Me:I need to get my things from your house and return my engagement ring to you.
Chad: Keep your ring, and please forgive me for all I’ve done. If you can find it in your heart to do that, then would you consider getting back together with me?
Me:I’ve already forgiven you but for myself. And no, I will never get back together with you. I can’t and won’t go through this hurtful mess again.
Chad:Do you hate me?
Me:I don’t hate anybody.
Chad:Do you still love me?
I leaned my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. Dammit .
Me:Yes, but my love will never be enough for you. I can’t help or heal you any more than I’ve already tried. You need professional help with your anger issue. If you don’t get it, then you’re going to hurt the next woman who comes into your life. Probably worse than you did me.
Chad:I don’t want anybody but you.
Me:It’s too late.
Chad:What if I start going to a therapist?
Me:It’s still too late. Regardless, go. I want you to find true peace and happiness. You won’t ever be able to do that as long as you have those demons inside you.
The bubble with the three dots popped back up and then disappeared. Thinking that Chad had nothing else to say, I tossed my cellphone into my purse. Seconds later, it chimed.
Chad:When would you like to get your things?
Me:I’ll let you know.
Chad:I want to ask you something but don’t want to upset you.
Me:?
Chad:If you’re thinking about getting back together with Rhys.
Me:That’s none of your business.
Chad:I apologize. It’s just been hard for me living in his shadow.
Me:I’ve got to go.
Chad:I hope you have a good day.
I had twenty minutes before I had to be officially back at work, but I didn’t want to text Rhys to let him know about this fucktastrophe with Chad, so I called him. I told him that Chad denied coming into my duplex and sleeping in my bed, but he didn’t believe him and was still getting my door locks changed. When he asked me if Chad said anything else, I said no because I was tired of talking about him.
“Good morning, Jacinda,” I said, walking into the dental office.
She looked up from her computer and gave me a backward smile. “Hey, how are you doing?”
I stopped at her desk. “Dr. Robinson told you what happened to me, didn’t he?”
“All he said was that you needed some time off to be with your family.”
“I did need to be with them because Chad and I are over.”
Jacinda’s mouth fell open. “Oh my God, what happened?”
“I will just say that he has a temper, and I got enough of it.”
“I never would’ve guessed he was like that. I am so sorry, Riley.”
“Me too. But something positive has come out of all of this—something I never saw coming. My first love and I reconnected while I was back home in Cypress Hills. We were high school sweethearts.”
Jacinda side-eyed me. “Is he who you were blissfully happy with before Chad?”
“Yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Rhys Silverman.”
“Do you have a picture of him?”
I smiled. “I do.”
“Show it to me then!”
I pulled up Rhys’s sweaty selfie and handed my cellphone to Jacinda. The second she saw his picture, her mouth fell open again.
“He’s a hunk, isn’t he?” I asked.
“Yes! A very handsome, lickable, biteable hunk.”
I chuckled. “He’s all of that, for sure.”
“I can’t get over how blue his eyes are.”
“They’re my weakness and Rhys’s dimples.”
Jacinda sighed and handed my cellphone back to me. “Why didn’t y’all make it before?”
“Because of me. I ended our relationship because I wanted more than a small-town life and started mine over by moving here. I didn’t think Rhys would ever leave Cypress Hills, so I never asked him about coming with me. When he and I talked last week, he said he would’ve moved anywhere to have me by his side.”
“That makes me want to cry.”
“I did cry when Rhys told me, and so did he. The truth is, Jacinda, he and I never got over each other.”
“That’s obvious. But are y’all a legit couple again?”
I nodded. “It’s crazy fast, but neither of us could help it. It feels right. What I had with Chad never did. I wanted it to and tried to force that feeling, but it wasn’t there.”
“There’s something about a first love that stays with us no matter where we go in life. They’re always there, floating around inside our hearts and our heads.”
I studied Jacinda’s pretty hazel eyes. “You were thinking about your first love just now, weren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“What’s his name?”
“Phillip.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“In Savannah, Georgia. I keep up with him on Instagram.”
“So y’all are still friends then.”
“We are.”
“Do you mind telling me why you and Phillip didn’t make it?”
“We had different career aspirations. He wanted to see the world and became a pilot for American Airlines, while I wanted my simple life here in Fort Worth. Then I met Carter and married him six months later.”
“And then divorced him after eight not-so-happy years.”
Jacinda nodded. “If I could go back in time, I would follow Phillip’s dream and go with him. He begged me to.”
“Well, you’ve witnessed me getting a second chance with my first love. If I were you, I’d be making a trip to Savannah.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because Phillip is married.”
“Happily?
“He doesn’t look like it in the few pictures I’ve seen of him and his wife online. I know his real smile.”
“If you could have a second chance with him, would you take it?”
“Riley, I…” Jacinda stopped short, but the glimmer of hope in her eyes finished her sentence.
“I know you would, just like I did with Rhys. Word of advice: keep a close eye on that first love of yours. There might be something in the cards for you and him just yet.”