Chapter 15
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.
EPICURUS
Lying unconscious in the hospital, whiteness surrounds my unresponsive body, the only sounds the electronic noises of the machines that are keeping me alive, buying me more time, as I become aware of people moving around me; faint voices speaking accented English.
‘We have traced her family. A friend is contacting them. It will be good for them to come here.’
Euphoria fills me at the thought of seeing the boys. But then panic wells up inside me. The boys will be so worried. I don’t want them to see me like this. But suddenly the realisation dawns on me that maybe my time is running out.
I have another sudden wake-up call. It’s seismic; the magnitude of when I met Adam.
You see, it’s never been more obvious to me that what’s important is what you see in other people.
How you go about your days. What’s in your heart.
Time takes on new significance as I lie here, fighting off fear, while sadness overwhelms me.
Regret, that I haven’t done half of what I wanted with this precious life of mine. That maybe I never will, as I consider.
Maybe I’m not coming out of this.