Chapter 27
New Chapters
And that is the end – of the old Tilly, at least, God bless her cotton socks.
It also marks the start of a brand-new chapter.
One set amongst the aftermath of Crete’s worst storm in living memory, which is kind of fitting, because only out of such things does a phoenix arise.
And in a way, that’s how it feels. Stretching my wings and discovering a new way to be.
I know things are on track when a flow starts – otherwise it wouldn’t feel like a flow.
After spending a week helping clear up the damage of the storm, Adam and I fly, completely uneventfully, back to England.
The house sells for almost the asking price; we spend a few days catching up with the boys at their respective universities.
I introduce Adam to my dad – slightly trepidatiously. After all, I’m about to commit the sin of divorce, as Adam already has. But most extraordinarily, they get on like a house on fire. No mention of churches, religion; no sanctity of marriage conversations. It’s just as easy when Adam meets Rick.
Elena, as I already know, completely adores Adam. And when you put all of this together, you have proof, that while there will always be ups and downs, happy-ever-after really exists.
Only one thing is a bit weird – but there was always going to be some weirdness. It’s when I call Tallulah, and I get her voicemail. I leave her a message.
Hey, it’s Tilly. Just letting you know I’ve found the flow – and to say thank you again.
Several hours later, she texts me back.
Tallulah
Dear Tilly,
This is where you and I say au revoir. I’m hoping you’ve rediscovered sassy Tilly. The one who wanted to fly free – until that dreadful husband of yours clipped your wings. In other words, the Tilly you used to be.
It means you don’t need me any more. But to be honest, you never did. You have all the answers you’re looking for. You always did have. You just have to trust yourself.
Bon voyage! Have a wonderful life!
Tallulah xx
I read it again, then stare at it in amazement. But Tallulah has always known me better than myself. Or has she? I’m frowning again. She’s right. I really must learn to trust myself.
‘Thank you,’ I whisper to Tallulah, or maybe it’s to me, knowing if anyone’s watching, it might seem ever so slightly odd. But who cares if I look a bit mad? ‘Thank you,’ I say to myself – a little louder, this time. ‘It’s taken you a while, but you’re doing OK. You should be proud of yourself.’
* * *
That evening, Adam and I map out the next step.
Only the one – it’s good not to be too ahead of these things.
The best laid of plans… Well, we all know what happens to them.
Anyway, back to Adam. Things being what they are, he decides to take the job in San Jose – for a year.
After all, that’s where I was always headed, which means it feels perfect for both of us.
After that, we’ll go back to Greece, which for some reason Adam sounds uncertain about. ‘I’ve been thinking about Crete… Do you think you could live there?’
My eyes widen. ‘You mean forever?’
Adam hesitates. ‘Maybe. It’s just a question at this stage… If you’d rather not, we can go somewhere else.’
‘Yes.’ I kiss him. ‘A hundred times yes.’ I could definitely live in Crete forever.
* * *
And so the flow goes on. I eventually get to San Jose, if not quite as planned. Actually, I fall a bit in love with it, even though it’s nothing like I’d imagined it would be. But I’m cool with that. It’s an adventure, the first of many to come. And I firmly believe that’s what life is about.
Who are you? I ask myself in astonishment. Who is this positive upbeat woman? Where’s poor sad Tilly gone?
This time my smile is broad. You see, I’m starting to get the sense that part of me has gone for good.
I conjure a mental picture of her gathering up her sadness, her guilt, her shame, and regret, then hurling them off the edge of a cliff, standing there a moment to watch them sink into the frothing water.
Making room, as Tallulah would have said, for this brand-new chapter – not that I or anyone else know what that’s going to turn out to be.
And in her place, I dare to imagine, that as Lizzie once said, there’s a rainbow.
Life can be messy, unpredictable. The best laid of plans can fall wildly, devastatingly apart. But as I’m learning, nothing is perfect, and there’s always a way through even the darkest times. And that’s to fall in love with life all over again.
To take each beautiful day as it comes.