CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Opening up about Zee and what happened to him lightened me up some. I wasn’t healed by any means, but I was getting better.
I was a work in progress, and most of my progress was due to Ethan’s help.
But it could’ve been more effective if I wasn’t under the impression he was pulling away. I wrote it off as me being paranoid. After all, he was still devoted, we slept together every night, and he never missed an opportunity to touch me—not only sexually, but intimately, looking for ways to comfort me and make me aware he was nearby and ready to lend a hand.
But there was something new making him skittish. When I asked him about it, all he said was that there was something he needed to clear with Aaron, so I trusted him.
Our beginning wasn’t the most conventional one, but if there was someone I knew I could trust, no questions asked, it was Ethan. My Phoenix.
So, for the days that followed our love professing, I let him be, knowing he’d come to me if he ever needed to talk or when it was time to come clean about what was bothering him.
But as understanding as I was trying to be, it was hard to deny the situation was bugging me.
That was also why when Benny and Izzie invited us for a barbecue at their place—without the promise of a swing, much to Ethan’s relief—I jumped at the opportunity to have some sense of normalcy. And to try to get back on the family gatherings, something I’d been avoiding for over a year and a half.
The whole family was around.
Izzie was her adorable and welcoming self, while Benny made jokes and grilled. As soon as we arrived with Hugo, the kids—Gabe, Sofia, and Teddy—pulled Ethan to play with them in the backyard. It should’ve bothered me that I was relegated to the second favorite family member, but I loved seeing him so comfortable with the kids.
Danny and Lisa had arrived before us. Haley was in the kitchen with the girls and my mom, while Dad helped Benny in the grill. Even Aaron had graced us with his stoic presence.
It was supposed to be a pleasant evening. Which was why Ethan’s uncharacteristic iciness toward Aaron took me by surprise. Took us all by surprise. My parents were Team Ethan already, but even they noticed something wasn’t adding up.
“I know it’s not the moment for that,” Aaron said, looking around to make sure the kids and my parents were out of earshot, “but I think we should schedule a new meeting to go over the investigation. With the DEA breathing down my neck and withholding information, I feel like we’re working in the dark.”
I furrowed my brows. “Why do you think they’re withholding anything?”
He rubbed his lips and lightly swung his beer. “I’m not sure. I don’t even know who isn’t being forthcoming. I just feel like they’re playing the cards too close to their vests. We’re dealing with dangerous things, it’s not smart—not to mention honest—of them to hide info and let us deal with the aftermath.”
Ethan scoffed loudly, for once not caring that he was bringing attention to himself.
Aaron pursed his lips. “Anything you want to share with the table, Cross? ”
Ethan’s eyes at him were lethal, and his jaw was set so hard, it was a wonder his teeth didn’t disintegrate. “Your hypocrisy is just amusing.”
Aaron took a step back. “Excuse me?”
“You have a lot of nerve to come here and preach about honesty and integrity.”
Aaron’s nostrils flared as he glared at Ethan. “I don’t appreciate what you’re implying, and it’d be better if we handled your issues like adults. In the appropriate settings and without beating around the bush.”
Ethan stood up abruptly, the chair scratching loudly against the floor, and threw his napkin on the table. “Awesome, let’s deal with it. Inside. Now. ”
He stormed off, and Aaron glanced around with wary eyes. He staggered by the table and drummed its top before cleaning his hands on his pants and following Ethan. The guys looked at me for an answer, but all I could do was shrug.
“What happened to Ethan?” Danny asked, staring at where the guys had gone. “That’s not like him.”
I shook my head and bit the inside of my lips. “I’ve no idea. I think it kind of started a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t know what triggered this. All he said was that he needed to clear something with Aaron.”
Benny frowned at the house, where the two men marched to. “Did he tell you about his suspicions?” I shook my head, and he gulped and then grinned at me to lighten the mood. “What did you do this time, Bryant?”
My eyebrows went up, and I touched my chest in indignation. “Why the hell would this be my fault?”
He pointed a barbecue fork at me. “Because I know you too well.”
I scrunched up my nose at him, but didn’t need to defend my honor since Izzie did so. Kind of.
“Stop blaming her, honey. I’m sure she didn’t do anything to make him mad. There must be a good explanation for his behavior.” She balanced on her toes to kiss his cheek and then glanced at me and the girls. “But…you know? Just in case…”
She looked at Lisa with pleading eyes.
Lisa rounded her eyes before schooling her features and rubbed her hands on her jeans. “I guess what Izzie is trying to say is that…in the off chance you might have…I don’t know…punched him…again?”
I pursed my lips. “Unbelievable.” I threw an accusatory stare at the strong and ripped cowards who refused to look me in the eye. “You told them that?”
Danny suppressed a smile at my expense. “She’s my woman, I tell her everything.”
Haley giggled and touched my hand. “We all know about it. But I don’t think that’s the case. From what I’ve been seeing, the two of you seem to be very in tune. To be honest, I love watching the way you look at each other, or even work together.”
I felt the corner of my lips go up. “We’ve been getting along quite well.”
Danny placed his trunk arm over my shoulders and pulled me for a side hug. “We’ve all seen that. I’m so happy for you, cari?o . And for him. I knew you two would make a great team. And to be fair, I don’t think he’s upset at you. His issue seems to be directed at Aaron.”
Benny chomped on a bun and chuckled. “Maybe he’s mad at Aaron for forcing you two to work together. You know? Like you were?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Just stuff your mouth with meat and grill.” I knew that wasn’t the case, but I also knew something was bothering him, and my uneasiness only grew. “This isn’t like him. I better go check on them.”
I walked inside the house searching for Ethan and Aaron and heard their angry voices before I reached Benny’s office, where they were.
“It was a safety measure, Ethan. We need to—”
“Safety measure, my ass! You set me up! This whole time, you’ve been sitting on it, yet leaving me to carry the bomb. But you listen to me, I’m not screwing up the best thing that happened to me because you’re a coward.”
“I know it’s hard to understand, but if you— ”
“ Stop. Fucking. Talking! Stop with the excuses. I cannot believe you could reach this low.”
“It had to be done. We’re in too deep to do anything about it now.”
“I don’t care, either you fix it—and do it quickly—or I’ll tell—”
“Is everything okay here?”
Ethan and Aaron jumped back in startlement and looked at me with rounded eyes.
Aaron rubbed his lips. “How long have you been standing there?”
I could feel my brows turn into a vee. “I just got here, but I could hear you two arguing since I walked inside the house.” I squinted at them. “What’s going on?”
Ethan pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I was urging Aaron to—”
“Ethan!”
“Yes, Aaron?” He snapped.
They stared at each other, and for the first time, Aaron didn’t look as confident as his usual self. He sighed, and his shoulders dropped. He rubbed his forehead. “Give me two weeks.”
Ethan pursed his lips, breathing hard. “You have three days.” He pointed at Aaron. “Three. Days. ”
After a beat of silence, Aaron nodded, seemingly resigned, and walked out of the office avoiding looking at me.
“Are you okay?”
Ethan strode to me, pulled me to his chest, circled his arms tightly around my back, and rested his chin on top of my head. “I will be.”
I couldn’t even care that being smushed into his chest was twisting my glasses. I just scooched even closer and hugged him back. “Will you tell me if something is wrong?”
He pressed his lips on my forehead. “Everything will be fine. I’ll make sure of that.” Ethan pecked my lips. “I need a beer.”
“Go ahead, there’s tons in the freezer. And you got to taste Danny’s meat.”
He laughed, and his shoulders lost some of their tension. “Do I need to worry about a swing session?”
I leaned my head to the side to ponder. “My parents are here, so I think we’re safe for tonight.”
“Good. Because I won’t share you.”
He kissed me again and left the room. I lingered for a while, grappling with the tightness in my chest, attempting to decipher its meaning. I stood in Benny’s office, counting my breathing pattern like I’d done with Ethan so many times, until I felt it was safe for me to leave .
I turned around to head for the door but ended up knocking on the sideboard in the corner, making a bunch of files, letters, and documents fall on the floor. I crouched down to collect them and cleaned the mess I’d made when one letter caught my attention.
That it had no returning address should be reason enough to freak me out.
But it was the content that fell from inside it, one single object that made me feel like throwing up.