CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
I never regretted my decision. Yet I was never fully comfortable with it.
I did what I had to do. That was what I lived by. And if that meant stepping away from my family and faking my death to protect my little sister, the woman I loved, and my kid, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
But not having them by my side for all that time was torture. It was even worse when I tried to comprehend the pain I deliberately inflicted on them .
The cartel almost took my sister away. They almost took away my woman and my kid even before I had the chance to meet them. And they just stole over a year and a half of my life with them.
To say I was murderous and wanted justice and revenge was an understatement.
But to say I wasn’t responsible for putting my family through hell was a lie.
Aaron was strict about rules. He wasn’t wrong about it, but I was already going stir crazy even ignoring most of his warnings.
I wasn’t supposed to stay in touch with anyone. I also should be far away from Holy Water and any member of my family. I failed on both fronts.
How couldn’t I follow Mia’s steps to make sure she was safe? How could I stay away from Gabe and miss him growing up? How could I stand not getting even a glimpse of Haley to get me through the hell that was living away from them?
So, I broke a lot of Aaron’s demands. I did try to stay hidden from them, though. It was necessary for the investigation and to keep the ones I loved safe.
The only ones who knew I was alive were Aaron, Ethan—although he didn’t know who I truly was—and Ben, who came up with the whole idea .
Over thirty years. For over thirty years Mia and I lived without a single fight. We argued here and there, but it was always harmless and soon forgotten.
That was the first time I could say we fought. And it was my fault.
The Alacráns were hot on her track. They wanted the Prodigy and proved they’d stop at nothing to get the person carrying that name. Aka, Mia.
So, in my desperation, I made the mistake of suggesting to Ben we should take her out. I knew it wasn’t fair to her. But what was the alternative? Watching them get to Mia?
They’d already managed an attempt against her life by running her off the road. Our investigation proved they were after her. What would be next?
I plopped down on one of the chairs in Ben’s office.
“I can’t risk losing her.” I sounded defeated even to my ears.
“Why do you think she can’t handle things? She did prove once, and time and again, she’s way smarter than all of us combined.”
“I know. She’s also proved she’d do whatever it takes for us. Even if that means putting herself in the eye of the storm. I can’t let that happen, because this storm is way bigger than anything we’ve ever faced. I fear she’ll get herself into a situation where she needs to decide if she’ll save one of us or herself. We both know what she’ll choose.”
“Maybe it won’t come to that,” he retorted weakly.
“Those fuckers are capable of anything. If they found out she’s the one they’re looking for, then her head is already wanted.”
Ben mulled over my words and let his eyes roam around the room as he thought. He closed his eyes, breathing heavily, before leaning over the table. “What if they thought it was you?”
“What do you mean?”
“There aren’t a lot of people who know who the Prodigy is. She always made a point of not identifying herself like that, and since she left the DEA, people aren’t aware of who the legend is. We could make it seem like it’s you.”
I shook my head. “Even if she doesn’t care about the title, it’s hers. I couldn’t usurp that.”
“But you aren’t. It’s just a way for us to control the narrative. And maybe a way to change their focus.”
I nodded slowly, beginning to see where he was going. “If they’re after me, we can lure them out while they’re chasing the wrong person.”
“That could give us the head start we need.”
“But how would we do this? How do we take the heat off her?”
Ben leaned back against his chair and rubbed his lips. “ I’m not sure. But we’ll figure a way out.”
Since I wasn't supposed to contact anyone close to my family, the only way I could reassure Ben that I was alive and safe was by sending him an envelope every now and then, along with a single origami.
I was in direct contact with Aaron discussing the case until he thought it best to distance himself. That was when he redirected me to Ethan Cross.
The man was solid. Sharp, brilliant, honest, and a protector. Ethan was the kind of man I wanted around my family to help keep them safe. That was why it also bothered me that I was forced—by my own doing—to deceive him as well.
He didn’t deserve that. Neither of us did.
Every day, I woke up and said, “ Just a little bit longer, then the whole thing will be over, and I can come back home .” But that day never came, and my uneasiness grew. My family needed me. My little sister needed me. My woman and my kid needed me. I craved them. And I also failed them.
So, I became more reckless. As careful as I was not to let my family see me, nor to reveal my identity to Ethan, I still needed to get closer.
Mia was challenging death left and right. She was my little sister, so protecting her was ingrained in me since I first saw her. Which was a hard fit, when she was a little moving bomb ready to explode at any sign of injustice. And it only got worse after I died .
Gabe wasn’t my biological kid, but he was my son in every sense of the word. He was my boy. The one I’d set anything on fire for. He was the one who moved me, the one who made me want to be a better person; the person he believed I was.
And Haley…Haley was my world. My love. My fuel. She was my home. Haley and Gabe were the ones I’d always come back to.
My death should have a purpose: make them safer. But despair engulfed me every time I hid close to their home and saw Gabe watching through the window, waiting for me. Lacerating pain assaulted me every time Mia left the front porch lights on and risked her life to the limit to ease the pain I’d caused. Shame and yearning surrounded me every time I got a glimpse of Haley crying over me, the man who left her. The man who left for her.
I vowed to come back. And I would once the investigation was concluded and I knew they were safe again.
But when Ethan messaged me, calling me by my name —which he wasn’t supposed to know—and telling me it was all out in the open and that Mia was in the hospital, I abandoned all promises of safety. Aaron could deal with it.
I was cautious enough to walk inside the hospital from the back, so he should be grateful. I contacted Ariel Miller, Aaron’s doctor friend, and was grateful when she didn’t try to fight me on sneaking inside. She was the one who signed my death certificate. Even though she didn’t agree with our decision, she respected what we were doing. And she knew why.
It was already bad enough to be rolled into the hospital full of pain, bleeding, fighting unconsciousness, and unsure about my health and the cartel’s future. But when they brought Mia’s gurney to my side, my world nearly collapsed.
She’d coded in the ambulance, and the medical staff was having a hard time bringing her back. I watched one of my worst nightmares unfold before my eyes.
Danny even tried to resuscitate her on the way to the hospital.
I was desperate. I wanted to jump out of my gurney and run to her. Make sure she was breathing. Make sure she was alive.
When they finally succeeded in bringing her back to life, I knew what had to be done. As they rolled her into an emergency surgery, I vowed to make sure she’d be safe. Even if that meant lying to the people I loved the most.
I pulled my hat even down, peering around to make sure no one had followed me to the hospital, and texted Ariel. She must’ve been waiting for me inside because as soon as the message was sent she opened the door and urged me inside.
“Where is she?”
Ariel pointed ahead. “I placed her in the room in the corner. It’s the biggest and most secluded.”
“I appreciate that.” I ran my hand through my face in distress. “What the hell happened?”
“She was overwhelmed.” She clicked her tongue and murmured, but not in disapproval, more like concern. “I told her to take it easy.”
“Do you think it has something to do with when she had hypothermia?”
She side-eyed me. “How do you know that?”
“I know everything about her.”
“Fair enough. No, I don’t think it has. But I do believe it has something to do with the time Ben’s father attacked her. Both times.” At my surprised expression, she grinned. “You’re not the only one who knows stuff.”
“Huh. I never guessed Aaron was a talker.” She pursed her lips but ignored me. “Why do you think it goes back to those attacks?”
She continued her marching ahead. “Doctor and patient confidentiality. I can’t disclose anything to you. For all intents and purposes, you’re not even here. You’re not even alive.”
I touched her arm so we could stop. “Come on, Ariel. You know the situation is different. I need to know what’s going on. At least the bullet points. Give me anything.”
At my pleading voice, she sighed and caved. “As you know, she had a concussion after the accident involving her and Izzie. She had another one on the day of the explosion. It affected her, and her labyrinthitis didn’t help. Her vertigo has increased—both in intensity and frequency. That and the shot on her shoulder even caused the shakiness and tingling in her left arm and hand. She consulted with me a couple of times. I admonished her to take it easy.” She shook her head. “But talking to her is like talking to a tree. It takes you nowhere.”
Despite her words, her tone wasn’t annoyed or angry. It was worried. And I appreciated what she’d been doing for us even more.
“What happened today?”
“From what the guys had told me, once she figured out about you, she had a new labyrinthitis crisis. It was a strong one. She was conscious when they brought her in, but her vertigo seemed to be out of control, to the point she couldn’t stand and seemed to be having trouble seeing and speaking. So, I thought it’d be best to give her something to sleep. She’s in the room right now resting. Despite everything, she’ll be fine.”
“But why was she brought here? They normally bring patients here only when Holy Water can’t handle them.”
She resumed her walking and side-eyed me. “Scott figured we’d be receiving your presence soon, so it’d be safer for you to meet her here than in your hometown. Although, at this point, I’m not sure how much longer you can keep up with this charade.”
“Who is here?” I asked quietly.
“So far, just the guys. But I assume your parents are coming soon.” She eyed me pointedly. “And I doubt they’ll come alone.”
I exhaled heavily and tried to prepare myself for seeing my family again. For seeing Haley again.
When we reached what I assumed was Mia’s room, Ariel stopped with her hand on the handle and turned to me. “I understand this must be emotional for you. I feel for what you and your family have been through. It takes a lot of courage—and love—to do what you did. But from this door on, Mia isn’t just your sister. She isn’t just a person I quickly learned to care about. She’s my patient. If I think your presence will harm her in any way, I’m going to ask you to leave. And you’ll listen to me.”
I gulped and nodded, not a little bit close to ready to face what was inside. Rather who was inside.
Ariel opened the door, and it felt like a punch in the stomach.
Even though the circumstances were different, the sterile room, the antiseptic smell, the too white walls all brought memories I tried—and failed—to forget.
Mia’s small frame was set on a bed in the middle of the room, and an IV was stuck to her arm as she slept. Unlike the last time, at least there was no shrill sound indicating her heart wasn’t beating anymore. Yet, she looked frail and even smaller than she was.
I followed Ariel inside the room and eased the door closed behind me.
“ Cristo . It’s true!”
I was startled by Danny’s voice and gazed to my right to find him staring at me in awe. I wasn’t sure how to react. If I should take the first step or wait for him to make a move. I didn’t need to wait long.
Being the forgiving man I always knew he was, Danny marched my way in two large steps and pulled me in for a tight hug slapping my back. “I can’t believe you’re alive, cabrón .”
I hugged him back and had to control my breathing before I could echo his words. “I missed you, man.”
He stepped back and held my shoulders, looking at me as if to make sure I was real. “I’m so mad at you. But I’m so fucking happy.”
He hugged me again, crushing me with his trunk arms. When he finally let me go, I found Ben by his side.
He threw me a lopsided grin—albeit a sad one. “I was so tired of only getting those fucking origamis. ”
We embraced as well, and I had to breathe through the knot in my throat. “It’s so good to see you again.”
When we stepped apart, Aaron stretched his hand. “Welcome back.” Always stoic.
But when his hand lingered around mine and he tipped his chin, gulping, I knew he wasn’t being cold and oblivious to the situation. He was as involved as any other person in that room. He just wasn’t open about it.
Maybe Ariel could help.
I finally allowed myself to look at Mia again, and only then did I notice the big presence next to her.
Ethan was seated in a chair beside her bed, holding one of his small hands in his big ones, and watching me intently.
I knew they were working together—I was the one who pushed him to seek her out after all—but I wasn’t expecting the holding-hands-in-a-hospital-bed bond. I figured there was a lot Aaron hadn’t told me.
And I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
I offered him my hand. “I wasn’t expecting to meet you under these circumstances, but it’s good to see you again.”
He looked between my hand and my face, then my hand again before finally shaking it. “It’s good to put a name to a face, Zachary .”
I suppressed a flinch and peered at my little sister. I doubted she’d be as understanding as Danny was. But as I looked at her again, all I could feel was relief. I was under no illusion that my return would be received with open arms and no questions by everyone.
But I could deal with it. I couldn’t wait to deal with it.
I was back home. And that was all that mattered.