CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
I should be relieved. No. I should be exhilarated. We managed to rescue all the hostages and kill or arrest over forty members of the cartel, not to mention eliminate one of the most dangerous men who ever terrorized the country. And even beyond the borders.
Yet, I was still out of sorts. Like I was overlooking something substantial.
I meandered through the torn atrium, watching the DEA agents calling the Alacráns’ arrests. It was a victory day. Yet my mouth was dry, my breathing was shallow, and pressing my hands on my sternum wasn’t relieving the pressure growing inside me.
It was the first time I set foot in that place since I’d been fired. Maybe that was it. I wanted to believe it was it.
That was exactly where they’d canned me.
It should’ve felt like getting justice. Like in the movies, when the main character was masterfully wronged, but then came back years later to save her traitors’ asses.
But for the life of me, I couldn’t find that sense of fairness from fate. For all it was worth, I was still waiting for her sneak attack.
I strode to the right wall to see the portraits of the administrators and heads of departments. Edward, Edna, and Mr. Dawson’s faces politely smiled back at me, eternalized on that wall.
I had never told anyone, I didn’t even remember it until that moment, but when I started at the DEA, I yearned to be the head of the Intelligence Division.
I never dreamt of being an administrator, it seemed too political. But I aspired to be the head of the Intelligence Division. And I was forced to throw that dream in the trash can when they fired me.
Looking back, it was strange to see how much things had changed. I glanced around the room at my team, the one we had built after the DEA chapter of my life had ended. Zach, Benny, and Danny—my friends and family. Aaron—my friend and mentor. Shane—my latest surprise and quickly turned-friend.
Ethan—my forever Phoenix.
I couldn’t be happier. I loved working with them, and I was thrilled at the life we were building.
Then why the hell was I so wary?
I stared at the photos again, more to get my head in order than to see anything. I was so lost in my head I didn’t notice Edward’s approach.
He slapped my shoulder, startling me. He raised his palms. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” He looked at the wall as well and beamed lightly. “I always thought there would come a day when I’d see your face on it.”
I snorted. “I guess we can say goodbye to that illusion.”
“I wouldn’t be so hasty about it.” He gazed around the room. “You pulled a mighty stunt today. It was impressive. And I’m not the only one who thinks that.”
I returned his smile. “Thank you. It was a little bit crazy.” I pinched my thumb and index finger close together, almost touching. “Just a tiny bit unorthodox, as Aaron likes to point out. But I can’t believe we got Pablo.”
“And that’s why I think we should talk about a possible come-back. ”
I furrowed my brows at him. “What do you mean?”
“This is your way in,” he urged quietly. “After today, there’s no way the agency doesn’t want you back.”
I smiled at him in gratitude but shook my head. “I appreciate your vote of confidence. But I don’t want to come back. I like my life right now.”
He glanced at our sides. “There are too many curious agents here. Let’s go to that waiting room in the corner so I can present you my offer.” I was ready to pre-refuse it when he pleaded, “Please. Just hear me out. If you still don’t want to come back, I’ll let you be. But this agency can’t let go of a mind like yours.”
I bit my bottom lip. “Just let me wait for Shane and Delilah. I want to check on her.”
“I swear I won’t take too much of your time. You’ll be back before they get down.” He chuckled. “I need to take advantage of your adrenaline running high. I’ll even give you a preview: a substantial raise since your last paycheck here. And you can work with that young man over there.” I looked at where he was pointing and couldn’t help smiling at the sight of Ethan. “Two minutes. And I’ll even make you a cup of cappuccino.”
I smiled and caved. “All right. Let’s hear what you have to say.”
As we walked to the end of the atrium, I peered back at Ethan and mouthed, “Be right back. ”
He tipped his chin and grinned back at me, and I already wanted that conversation to be over so I could get back to him and the guys. But I owed Edward at least to hear him out. He was always by my side, especially during my suspension and hearing right before I was fired. Edward even traveled to the main office to talk to the Administrator and plead my case. Even though it didn’t work, I was grateful.
We walked into the waiting room, and he closed the door to give us some privacy, which was kind of silly since the walls and door were made of glass.
I was still too wary and pumped up to sit, so I paced the room slowly, urging my discomfort to drain out of me.
Edward went to the corner to prepare my promised cappuccino. He looked over his shoulder at me. “I’ve got to admit. For a moment today, I was worried sick. The way you challenged Pablo and then the assignment inside.” He chuckled. “Sometimes, I can’t even believe I was one of those agents who craved the adrenaline of an insane mission.”
He turned around and walked to me.
I picked up the cup he was offering me. “So, you don’t miss the field?”
Edward shook his head with wide eyes. “God, no! I never thought the day would come when I’d rather stay in the office than run around chasing bad guys. But that day came. And I think it was around the time my oldest grandson came.” He smiled fondly. “When I first held him, I realized I was risking my life too much and the pay wasn’t enough to justify that. That’s when I realized I needed to make some big changes in my life. But until that moment, I enjoyed the field. Why don’t you drink it?”
I wiggled my fingers on the cup. “I’m waiting for it to cool off. Have you ever regretted it? Taking a step back to run an office?”
He pondered my question. “I can’t say it was regret. But I wondered at first. It was one hell of an adjustment to leave the field. I used to love it. The action, the adrenaline, the uncertainty, and then coming up with a crazy strategy in the blink of an eye. You remind me a lot of myself, of my younger days. You’re driven and sharp, you’re quick on your feet. I was never as talented as you, but I was just as pumped up.” He pointed at my cup. “Take a sip, darling. These things are good when they’re warm.” He sipped his cup to prove a point.
I blew over my cup. “I do appreciate you saying that. It means a lot to me. Especially after an assignment like today, when so many things can go wrong. I guess, doubting ourselves afterward kind of comes with the territory.”
Edward looked at me like I was crazy. “Are you kidding me? You were fantastic today. The way you and Ethan handled the teams, and how they responded to your authority. The way you came up with a strategy on the spot to keep Pablo from getting to the roof to jump into a helicopter.”
That was when it hit me. When my wariness finally made sense. “You’re right. It required quick thinking on our part.” I placed my undrunk cup on the sideboard. “There’s just one thing. We never told you about the helicopter.”
His smile vanished and his squint turned murderous. I was able to dodge his first punch to my face. But I wasn’t fast enough to avoid the butt of his gun on my temple.
I wondered a few times if Pablo would ever make good on his promise to kill me.
I could never have imagined, though, that a person I thought was a close friend and protector might try to do it.