Chapter 12
Two entire days went by with no word from Jeremy when Violet started to feel worried.
It was so unlike him to not even message.
She called his cell phone but it went straight to voicemail.
An hour later, she called his office directly and Lynn picked up the phone.
But when she asked for Jeremy, she was told he was with patients and couldn’t talk right now but could she take a message?
Before long it was late in the evening and Jeremy still hadn’t called her back. By now Violet was starting to feel annoyed and just a little angry. She went over their last few conversations and their date from a few nights ago trying to figure out if she had done something wrong or upsetting.
By the time the third day rolled around, Violet could no longer ignore the gnawing certainty that Jeremy was deliberately avoiding her for some reason.
He had gone from checking in with her throughout the day and sending messages and emails to absolute silence.
No matter how busy he was, she knew he would have at least sent her a brief message or shot off a quick email.
If it hadn’t been for her conversation with his receptionist, Violet would have been extremely worried about him.
What she couldn’t figure out was why he had dropped out of her life like this.
His attraction for her must have been all about the chase and since the goal had been accomplished, the challenge was gone. It was the only thing that made any sense, she thought bitterly. Typical man. Or he must have finally realized the differences in their classes.
The anger and bitterness were self-directed, she berated herself for being so foolish and for getting carried away with her emotions. She had allowed herself to fall in love with a man who she could never really be with.
It was a different kind of love than the one she had experienced with Alex.
With Jeremy it was different. She was a woman who knew her mind, a strong woman who relied on no one else but herself.
The same could be said for him as well. Two adults thrown together, drawn to each other, emotionally and sexually filling a void they didn’t think could ever be filled.
He made her happy, he made her laugh. He had made her believe in dreams again.
Could it truly all have been just a lie?
Designed to get into her pants? But that made no sense to her, she thought of his handsome face and his hard, sculpted body, he wasn’t a man who needed to use tricks to get women to sleep with him.
As images of his muscular body filled her head, her mind wandered to the last time they had been together.
The sexual chemistry and uncontrollable passion were undeniable.
She felt sexually awakened in his presence, feeling things she had only read about in books and magazines.
Never dreaming it could really be that way with someone in real life.
And now he was gone from her life, as swiftly as he had come into it.
Leaving her lonely and bereft. Never again, she vowed to herself.
Never again will I allow my heart to be so unguarded.
On the fourth day, he showed up at her house looking apologetic and tired.
Relief filled her, he wasn’t going to break up with her after all.
But she confronted him about his silence right away, “You were avoiding me, why?”
“I needed time to think.”
“About?”
“I can’t do this, Violet.”
A cold dreadful feeling washed through her body and wrapped itself around her heart. “What do you mean?”
“There’s a reason why I’ve been single for so long. At first I was so focused on school I didn’t have time for a relationship and then after Julia…” his voice trailed off.
Violet felt a violent stab of anger towards the faceless Julia who had cheated on her beloved Jeremy and broken his heart. “After Julia, I threw myself into my work and I loved it. I loved every single moment of it and I knew I was good at it.”
“You’re an amazing doctor, Jeremy, you cured Tanya,” she said softly.
He smiled briefly, “I can’t be in this relationship anymore.”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
“I’m saying we can’t be together anymore, I have to break up with you.”
“But why?”
“It’s complicated.”
“But Jeremy, you’re not making any sense! Do you not love me anymore? Did you just never love me to begin with?”
“No! I do love you, but I just can’t be with you.”
Not telling her the real reason for their breakup was one of the hardest things he ever had to do.
Seeing the trust fade away from her pain-stricken eyes hurt more than he could have imagined.
But he couldn’t and wouldn’t be so selfish as to place such a heavy burden on her shoulders.
He knew that his generous, big hearted Violet would feel Mr. Karim’s death keenly and she would take the blame for it and he wanted to protect her from it.
He didn’t want her to feel doubt for even a second.
Not when she had already suffered so much, he wanted Violet to laugh and dance through life, he didn’t want her to be unhappy.
How could he tell her a patient’s wife was blaming him for her husband’s death and that she was going to sue him?
He couldn’t bring Violet or Tanya into the mess that would soon become his life.
The more she insisted on knowing the truth, the more he hardened his heart, refusing to budge on his decision. Their argument kept going around in circles, both of them dreading the moment when they would say goodbye, maybe forever.
“But there has to be more to this, Jeremy,” Violet repeated again, her voice was dry and filled with sadness, “Is there someone else?”
“No!” he exclaimed, unable to imagine a world in which he would leave her for someone else, “No, Vy, there’s nobody else.
If I could, I would be with you but I just can’t.
It’s not you, it’s me.” He finished lamely, not knowing how else to explain it because it was after all his problem, his issue, it had nothing to do with her.
A long stretch of silence followed his sentence and he felt her physically drawing away from him, he sensed her gathering her strength and pulling herself together.
A few more minutes passed and then she finally looked up at him, her large eyes filled with despair and resignation.
Her voice trembled and shook with both tears and rage, “I think it would be better if you left, Jeremy, you’ve made yourself perfectly clear.
I have to go get Tanya from school now.”
Mutely he nodded, biting back the offer to get her himself.
He longed to gather Violet in his arms and comfort her, she looked so lost and sad.
Sitting in the large, threadbare armchair, she looked small and vulnerable.
He almost took a step back towards her but then he remembered Mrs. Karim’s angry face and he knew he couldn’t. Without saying another word he left.