Chapter 18
Tate
The door is painted white, chipped around the handle and other odd places.
I bite my lip against the rising ache in my chest. I had hoped Levi would change his mind and come back.
At least hear Jan out. But he’s right, I don’t know him.
And I’m trying to figure out why that hurts as much as it does.
A phantom arm drapes itself over my shoulders, the smell of strong perfume blanketing my senses.
“He’ll be back. They always come back,” Jan says in an old-timey voice.
“I’m not so sure. He’s probably halfway back to Tennessee by now,” I counter, still trying to will the door to open.
“Nah, that boy has spirit, but he isn’t dumb.
He’ll come around. In the meantime, let’s work on you.
” I turn out from under her arm to face her.
“The idea is...drum roll...” She uses both of her pointer fingers to tap an invisible mini drum, face pinched in excitement.
“We’re going to make ‘Cowgirl Take Me Away’ into a duet!
With you, obviously, singing to him and he to you!
” she exclaims, her smile wide and unmoving.
She’s waiting for me to respond, but I’m at a loss as to how.
In theory, making that song a duet is a cool idea, but for me and Levi?
Gabriella will have a field day. I tuck my hair behind my ears, the dampness from this morning’s shower sticking to my fingers.
Jan’s still staring at me expectantly. I force a smile, but it’s tight.
“You’re not crazy about the idea?”
“I’m...indifferent.” I shrug, letting my shoulders pull me down a bit.
“Is this about Levi? Because I’m telling you, he will come around.” She straightens, her eyes and mouth falling back into their normal resting place. The posture of a confident, successful woman.
“How can you be so sure?” I watch as she takes a long drag of her coffee.
Then the slam of the door sounds from behind me causing me to jump from my skin.
My head whips back to where a large frame now covers almost the entirety of the doorway.
Levi. His skin is dewy and a little off its usual color.
He takes another step in until he’s at my side.
From under the thin cotton of his shirt, his chest tugs, and pushes.
His breaths are heavy and off pace, like he’s been running.
My eyes swing back to Jan’s in pure amazement.
How did you know that? I ask wordlessly, and she responds with a quick wink.
“Levi, I’m so glad you came back. Tate and I were just discussing the set. Won’t you join us?” She motions back towards the stage.
He responds in a rough grunting sound, his eyes avoiding mine completely as he walks back towards where we first started. Jan gives me another look that says, It’s going to be okay. Really! So I follow slowly behind.
“Alright, so here’s the deal, Levi,” Jan says quickly, switching from TV exec to musical director in the matter of seconds. “We’re going to sell you two as Johnny and June, so if you want to win, you need to lean in and play the part. Onstage and off.”
Now I’m the one avoiding eye contact. She walked that one in with a sledgehammer.
“You two are going to sing ‘Cowgirl/Cowboy Take Me Away’ as a duet. You’re going to split up the verses, alternating till the very last chorus, which you will sing together.
Capisce? Levi, take the stool. Tate, follow me.
” Jan speed-walks to the corner of the stage until she comes to a panel of lighting against the wall.
She flips a couple switches, and half the room goes dark, leaving Levi illuminated at the front.
She looks over at him through narrowed eyes and twisted lips before turning back to the panel and pushing more buttons.
I stand partially frozen behind her. The bright yellow lights over Levi melt before casting everything in a moody blue. She turns to me.
“Alright? How are you?” The question seems loaded, but I think the only acceptable answer is “fine.”
“Here are the lyrics.” She pulls a folded paper from her trousers and hands it to me. Levi’s parts have been highlighted in blue, mine in yellow, and “cowboy” and “cowgirl” in their respective places.
“How did you know I was going to say yes?”
“You don’t get to where I am without being able to read people,” Jan says with a quick shrug, and then she’s off. I watch as she does the same thing with Levi as she did with me, pulling the paper from her pocket.
He closes his eyes as his fingers start to work the strings.
“Nuh, nuh, nuh,” he sings, chasing the melody. When his eyes open again, he’s renewed and focused. He starts, hitting every note. I’m swallowed into his orbit, swaying from the sidelines. He rises from the stool, pushing it back with a foot in one quick movement as he slides through the chorus.
He turns, taking slow waltzing steps in my direction. His blue eyes are made even bluer by the lights above. “Closer to youuuu.”
“Tate, you’re up,” Jan hisses from the front, and Levi winds it back.
I look down at my verse in yellow, choking on my own spit in the process.
I step further onto the stage, closer to him.
He gives me a little nod of encouragement.
I start, and it’s a little bumpy, but I push forward anyways.
Clearing my mind from everything but the song and this moment.
By the time he jumps in, we’re sliding and gliding together so seamlessly it’s hard to tell where he begins, and I end.
We’re mimicking each other’s steps, each line bringing us physically closer and closer.
His shoulders brushing mine. My knees bumping his.
Our faces mirroring each other as we belt the last couple choruses in unison.
His fingers stop playing but neither of us back away and I feel all the air leave my lungs as the intensity of the moment settles between us.
Levi’s eyes seem to dig for something in the depths of mine. Something worth finding.
“YESSSS! That’s it! That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Jan cheers, leaping into the air shamelessly, and Levi finally pulls back, face blank.
“Tate, I’m assuming you were nervous, so just tighten up the lyrics and we’ll end the show with you two.
” Jan’s phone vibrates in her hand, and she holds up a finger to us.
“Hello, this is Jan,” she answers, before covering up the mouthpiece and shooing us away, whisper-yelling, “Practice!” before walking off.
We both watch her until she’s out of sight. Levi moves first, finding his stool.
“You want to go from the top again?” I ask him, one hand draped over his broad shoulders.
***
“Did you have anything to do with this?” Levi looks up and in its place is repressed anger. Harsh lights cast shadows across his face, and his brows are slammed together as he scowls. His eyes are completely frosted over. I know this look. It’s like the one from when we first met all over again.
“Did I have anything to do with what?” I hate how small I sound.
“This.” He lassos an invisible rope between us with his index fingers a couple times. “The duet.” His voice is salty, but it’s his words that stir something in me.
“You know, Levi, you really need to get over yourself,” I say, straightening, but it does nothing to get me closer to his eye level.
“I need to get over myself? What’s that supposed to mean?” He’s leaning in again, the same amount of distance between our faces as during the duet, but the mood’s changed.
“It means the world won’t stop spinning if you’re not controlling the outcome.
” I watch as he takes the hit. He doesn’t blink, but I see the wound of my words as his jaw tightens and the long column of his neck contracts in a swallow.
But I’m not done yet. “And for the record, I am just as surprised as you, but unlike you, I’m here because I love to sing.
Winning is just extra.” My voice softens with every word until it eventually comes out as a whisper.
Levi’s studying me now, his face a little less hard than it was a second ago.
The strong angle of his jaw has softened under the dust of his facial hair, and his eyes have lost their sting.
He inhales before sliding his hand up the same path my eyes just grazed.
Up his jaw, strong fingers cut through golden brown stubble.
I force myself to look away. To look over to where Jan is walking circles, slicing air while she talks with her hands.
Levi’s voice calls me back. “Do you mean that?” he mumbles.
“Mean what? That I didn’t have anything to do with the duet? Levi, I already told you, I’m just as surp—”
“Not that,” he cuts me off, looking down at the floor. “About winning.”
I wish the floor would open and swallow me up. I know one thing...it would be far less painful than this conversation. I laugh but it’s empty.
“That’s how you see me, huh?” I tip my head to the side and back, and for the first time, I can see right through him. “I’m just an obstacle in the way of what you want.”
He shakes his head, taken aback. “No...”
“You’re threatened by me. By everyone. That’s why you’ve been so cold.” My words come in a rush of power.
“Tate.” He puts a hand on my shoulder, but I bump it off.
“We’re not friends, so don’t touch me.” Something flickers across his eyes, but I don’t stop to try and interpret it. I’m done doing that with him. And then I say something that I know will seal the deal. That there will be no coming back from. “I’m going to win this competition.”