36. Chapter 36
We’ve been cooped up for almost a week, and I’m about to lose my damn mind.
Edits are almost done and were a great distraction, but being locked in here with James is testing all of my willpower. It feels like he’s on this mission to get me to cave, and I’ve held strong so far. Unfortunately, my edits are coming to an end, and all I can think about is if his stab wound is healed enough.
“What are you thinking so hard about?”
His cocky tone tells me he knows exactly what I’m thinking about as he’s wearing nothing but grey sweatpants. I need him to stop knowing so much about what turns me on in a nanosecond because I’m dying.
“How are your stitches?” I ask, looking at the smaller bandage on his side because, let’s face it, it’s been a week—that’s plenty of time for the bulk of healing, right? God, it’s like the hours of research I put into books that have shit like this in it have just flown out the window because I’m so fucking horny.
“Good. I did a tele-med appointment with the doctor, and he said they look good. Most of the dissolving ones are already gone, and I’ll need to come in to get the surface ones removed. Same for the forearm, but that’s pretty much closed up.”
Do I look as excited as I feel? Because I feel like my face is about to break from how wide my smile is.
He slowly peels off the bandages, and I see no sign of any stitches and my smile instantly drops.
“What the fuck?” I whisper.
“It’s not the first time I’ve taken out stitches. I cleared it with the doc, I promise,” he says with a grin.
I’m not sure why, but I’m annoyed—no, not annoyed, pissed. If he took those out and it causes an infection, I’m going to … I don’t know, punch him in the dick or something.
“Meet me in the bedroom. I’ll be there in a second.”
He arches an eyebrow at me before sauntering off to my room with a smirk. Yeah, I have a plan, and it’s definitely not what he’s thinking. I walk to my bedroom and find him lying on his back, sans sweatpants, and I arch my eyebrow at him.
“Wishful thinking?” he asks playfully.
I don’t bother with a reply. It isn’t wishful thinking, but I doubt he has even thought of what I’m about to do. I know he’s as pent up as I am. Walking into my bathroom, I pull the tie off of my robe and go back to my bedroom.
His eyes lock onto the tie and light up. “Hell fucking yes.” He sits up, but I stop him.
“Nope. I’m not the one being tied up today, James.” I see the second his eyes shutter, and I walk closer to the bed. “If that’s not okay, I won’t do it,” I say softly.
I never want to make him uncomfortable, but push his boundaries like he pushes mine? Sure, but this is more of a one-off anyway because we both know I love being tied up as much as he loves doing it.
“I…” His throat bobs as he swallows hard. “I’ve never let someone reciprocate.”
He doesn’t elaborate, and I feel like there’s more to it, although I’m not sure what.
“You can tell me no.”
He eyes me for a second before his whole face transforms into admiration. “If I let you do this, you know the payback is going to be big, right?”
“Fully expecting that.”
“Tie me up, Trouble.” He lays his hands above his head in surrender, and it feels like a huge moment. Sure, we’ve said “I love you”, but this feels like a big step too. This is complete trust.
I strip out of my clothes before stepping closer and climbing on the bed. When I straddle his stomach, he groans at the contact.
“Fuuuckkkk, Will.”
“Why did you freeze up when I asked to do this?” I loop his wrists through the tie as I ask quietly.
He grunts at the questions but answers anyway. “You’re very much using your powers for evil right now.” He sighs. “I always wanted to be a Marshal and was pumped when I finally became one. My first time on the task force was really fucking rough. Not as rough as Tennison, but still.”
I continue tying him up, making quick work of it before sitting up and shifting back a little as he talks. His hard cock sits at the junction between my legs, and it’s almost as tortuous as this week has been.
“It’s more about control, not specifically tying you up.” His hips tilt as he talks. I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it. “I was very young and very eager, so when an undercover case came up, I jumped on it.” He shivers. I put my hand on his heart in hopes it soothes him a little. “We were supposed to catch this woman who killed her husband or boyfriend—hell, I can’t even remember who it was now. I was supposed to seduce her, get her to a secluded area so we could safely take her in with little to no drama.
“The whole case shifted something in my head. She … she attacked me, for a lack of a better word,” he says quietly. “Once I had her alone, it was only seconds until the team got there, but she did some good damage. Once we were in the alleyway, it was like she knew what was coming and she jumped on me. Started punching, scratching, anything she could do to harm me. I’m pretty sure I still have scars from her nails on my shoulders. It wasn’t even sexual, but it made me realize how much damage a person can do, how much a woman can do when you’re vulnerable. I know it sounds crazy that I changed the way I have sex because of one woman. It was scary, though, and my first case on the team. And now I equate staying in control and taking away the use of your arms to staying safe. I stand by that if you hadn’t liked it, I would have been fine. You have always been different, and I never second-guess not using restraints with you. It’s just a perk that you enjoy them as much as I do.”
“Have you had sex since without using restraints?” I ask.
“No.”
“Okay,” I whisper, thinking this might be a bad idea.
“Willow.” His soft voice pulls me out of my head, and I look up at him. “You can literally do anything to me, and I’ll be the happiest man on earth. I like control, and I don’t think that will ever really go away, but I would be very open to trying new things with you. Seeing what we both like.”
“And what if I like the fact that you tie me up and don’t want you to stop?”
“Then I will continue to do so. But I think… Everything that’s happened is making me reevaluate a lot of things. I don’t want to box either of us into this one thing. There’s a huge world of things to explore, and I want to do it all with you. I feel … safe enough to be open to try everything.”
My heart pounds in my chest at his words. I don’t think I deserve his trust, but I’ll be damn sure I do everything in my power to keep it.
“How do you feel right now?” I ask, checking in just like he does to me.
“I feel like my balls are about to explode.”
My head tips back in booming laughter, not expecting his response at all.
He tilts his hips again, and my laughter turns into a groan.
“Seriously, James, how do you feel?” I ask again once I gain control of my head.
“I feel good, Trouble. Really fucking good.” The honesty in his eyes makes me not overthink anything else. I know he’ll stop me if something happens that he’s not comfortable with, and the same for me.
I lift up on my knees a little and reach in between us, grabbing his cock and centering myself on him. Locking eyes with him, I sink down onto him slowly but fully. I’m so turned on there’s no need for any sort of foreplay.
“Jesus,” he breathes out. “Warn a guy.” His hips thrust up a little, and I almost laugh, but it feels too damn good.
“This seemed more fitting.” I moan as I rock my hips. Not enough movement to get us anywhere but enough to make us both feel it.
“Such trouble,” he mutters.
I smile as I lift up and then realize one very important thing I missed.
“Shit. Shit, I forgot a condom. I didn’t even think because I’m covered, but I should have run it by you before making the decision.” My eyes dance frantically around the room, trying to figure out where I even have condoms.
“Willow.” His voice is too calm.
“What?”
“I’m clean. I can show you the tests and shit if you need me too. But I’m clean, and I don’t want to ever be with anyone again. I’m all in, so whatever you want is what I want.”
“I want you like this,” I whisper.
“Take me bare, please. I might have a very, very fast performance, but fuck do you feel incredible.” His hips buck again, making me clench.
My hands slide up his stomach, bracing myself and careful to avoid his still healing wound, and up his chest. “Can I ask you something?” His response to the no condom has my thoughts whirling.
“Anything.” He tugs at the tie holding him to my bed.
“What do you want? You said whatever I want is what you want, but what about the future? What about bigger plans?” I rock on him as I ask.
His hands tug on the restraints again, and I know he wants to touch me. I continue to rock slowly on him as I lean forward and lay on his chest. His shoulders slump, like the contact is exactly what he needed.
“I want you. I don’t care if we put titles on things. I don’t need to have this big, huge grand life plan. I want you. I want to spend every second I can with you. And whatever comes our way, we’ll handle it together. We’ll love each other through it all. If that lands on marriage and kids, perfect. If it doesn’t, also perfect.”
My eyes well with tears. I don’t think I could have found a more perfect man for my quirky soul.
“I’ve always felt like a man would tie me down.” We both chuckle, considering what he usually does to me. “So, I never really dated. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted the whole marriage-and-kids’ thing. I’m not against it, but at the moment it’s not something I feel will complete my life. You are something that I feel will complete my life, though. And I like this idea of just living life, going with the flow. And seeing where life takes us together.”
“Kiss me. For the love of God, kiss me, woman.” His voice is strained, and I look up to see emotion all over his face.
I don’t hesitate.
I kiss him like I’ll die if don’t. I kiss him like it’s our form of a marriage contract. I kiss him like I hope I get to until the day I die.
I’m barely moving on him at this point, but it doesn’t feel like it matters. I reach up, untying the knot keeping him restrained, needing to feel his hands on me.
Within seconds, his palms are engulfing my jaw and cheeks. The passionate kiss doesn’t slow down, even as one of his hands moves down my spine to cup my ass. He starts guiding my movements, making my rocking turn more into bouncing.
Breaking the kiss, he hurriedly tells me, “I need you to sit on my face. I need to feel you come on my tongue.”
I don’t stop to think, my body moving on instinct as he slides down the bed a little, wrapping his hands around my hips.
The first touch of his tongue has me grinding against him.
“Fuck, James.”
He pulls back just long enough to say, “That’s right. Say my name, Trouble,” before going back.
I can feel myself getting closer and closer. My hands grip the headboard, trying to hold off my orgasm, although I’m not really sure why.
When I feel his finger at my entrance, I know I’m a goner. He knows I love the dual stimulation, and it’ll take a matter of seconds before I come, whether I want to or not.
“Yesssss, just like that,” I hiss. My head tips back as my orgasm crests over the edge. Wave after wave hits me hard, and I vaguely hear myself crying out with the sheer pleasure of it all.
I collapse against the headboard as Oakley shifts up so I’m straddling his torso.
“You have your fun?” he asks with a smirk, his lips and chin covered in my orgasm.
“I don’t know. I might want to try that again some time. Except not have you take over this time,” I giggle.
“Whatever you want, Will.” It’s huge he’s even saying that, especially after knowing his history.
While I’m still in that post-orgasmic haze, he grips my ass again, while holding me too him with the other hand before flipping us both over. My smile is wide as I look up at him, with the predatory look on his face I love so much.
“My turn,” he whispers before yanking up my arms and holding them in one hand. He doesn’t tie me up, but my body arches just the same as if he did.