Chapter 34
Asher
I can’t ask Claire to stay. It’s not fair. She has a whole robust medical career waiting for her in Manhattan. Asking her to stay here would only hold her back from her plans and her potential.
No.
I won’t ask her to stay.
Sex the other night with her was intense. Not just physically but emotionally. I can’t let that happen again. My buddies may be rooting for us to be together, and of course I care for her, but telling her goodbye will be too fucking hard if we experience another moment like that one.
And what about my daughter? Am I an irresponsible father for putting Bea in this position?
It was harmless in the beginning, inviting Claire into our home for the summer. I figured she’d basically be a fun, cool aunt, like Millie. And maybe that’s how it began, but over time Claire’s taken on a more… motherly role. It happened so naturally I didn’t even see it coming.
The silver lining is that I doubt Claire will disappear from Bea’s life completely.
With her being my sister’s friend, our paths will cross every once in a while.
That’ll be good for Bea. As for me? Well.
It’ll be painful when I can’t hold her or kiss her, but I’m a grown man. I’ll have to suck it up.
After I’ve guzzled down my coffee, I scheduled another cup to percolate around the time Claire usually rises. With her pajamas still on, I drop Bea off next door, where she’s content to snuggle and watch cartoons with Grandma and a mug of “kids’ coffee” while Jack and I head into the office.
Brenner greets us in his usual chipper drawl.
He works tirelessly at the front desk, though he makes it look effortless.
He is as close to my right-hand man as one can be.
We employ dozens of people, and I respect them all, but Brenner’s my favorite.
He’s more like an office sensei than a manager.
He’s responsible, professional, and efficient, and he knows what needs to be taken care of around the premises sometimes before even I do.
Though this morning, I really fucking hate that he can read me like a book.
“You okay, boss?”
“Fine. Why?”
He circles around the desk and shakes hands with Jack, then turns to me. “You seem a little on edge.”
“I’m not,” I bark. Okay, so maybe I am. “Sorry,” I offer sincerely. “You’re right. Just have a lot on my mind.”
“Your mood wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain brunette, would it?” Jack asks casually.
Standing ramrod straight, I rotate to face him. “Of course not. Why would you…”
Brenner raises a challenging brow. “Because she’s leaving soon, and I know for a fact you haven’t found a replacement yet.”
“Exactly. I haven’t found a new doctor yet,” I say, completely disregarding the first part of his statement.
“And why is that?” The opposite brow quirks this time, and I briefly wonder what other party tricks he has up his sleeve.
“I interviewed someone at the start of the summer, but they weren’t a great fit.”
“I remember,” Brenner replies. “And I think you made the right call on that one. But what about since then? Unless you’ve been scheduling interviews behind my back, there have been exactly zero.”
Hackles rising, I say, “I’ve been busy.”
Both Brenner and Jack make sounds that roughly translate into “you’re so full of shit.”
I ignore them.
We’d already cleared the fall schedule for the camp since construction would be in full swing, so I don’t need a new doctor until wintertime anyway.
Too bad it’s a little late to string together a staff and market for the fall season.
We could really use the money from the retreats now that the expansion isn’t happening.
Brenner clamps a sympathetic hand on my shoulder, as if he can smell the stress seeping from my pores. “You’re going to figure it out. You always do.”
I shake my head. “Not this time, man. I’m at a loss.”
“This may set the expansion back, but it’s not the end. Stay optimistic.”
With a weak smile, I thank him for his support and excuse myself.
Jack and I part ways when we reach our respective offices, but the moment I’m alone, I know I won’t be able to concentrate. I consider taking Bea to feed the ducks or horses, but I’m wound too tight and I don’t want to risk losing my patience with her.
It’s no use sitting here staring at my computer screen either, so I sneak out the back and peel away in the golf cart.
Claire’s cart is parked in the driveway, though that doesn’t mean she’s home. Sometimes she jogs to the gym or walks to the recreation room to paint.
If I find her inside, it will be so fucking hard, but I’m going to tell her this thing between us needs to end.
That we’ve gotten carried away and it’s gone too far.
That it’s what’s best for the both of us.
That she’s leaving next week, anyway, so what’s the difference if we end things a little early?
But the second I enter and find her wiping down the kitchen countertops with a rag, wearing nothing but fuzzy socks and one of my old college T-shirts that barely covers her ass, the raw, carnal side of me unleashes.
With more force than necessary, I throw the door shut. The sound startles her, and when she spins around, I’m already stalking her like prey.
“Ash,” she says on an inhale.
“I need you.”
She steps forward, eating up the space between us, her face etched in concern. “Is everything okay?”
“I need you,” I repeat.
She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a subtle nod. When I pick her up and set her on the counter, she spreads her legs wide for me.
The answer to my problems may not be found between her thighs, but I think I should check just in case.