Chapter 17 #2
“I said I was sorry!” I interrupt, feeling a little guilty.
But only a little. “I didn’t know they were for the party or I wouldn’t have been so greedy.
” I found them in the fridge while he was setting up and grabbed a handful.
It’s a good thing my metabolism has always been through the roof.
If I spend much more time with him, I’ll go from Skinny Winnie to…
Well, nothing else rhymes, so let’s not even think about it.
“It’s fine, Win. I like watching you eat my fancy cookies.” He winks, but I can’t stop thinking about what he said.
I’m sure Seamus meant well, but he invited Michael to a weekend event where his brother would be comfortable, while he only knew a handful of people. “I’m sorry things haven’t been easier for you two.”
“After our conversation yesterday, I think most of the blame falls on me. He was surprised I existed, sure, but…” He grimaces.
“My father’s cousin was my old boss, and he was an asshole, but he was always singing Bellamy’s praises while finding me lacking.
I knew all the stories about his wild days and just… ”
“You thought if your father and his cousin were like that, your brother had to be too.”
He shrugs one shoulder. “I haven’t made the last few months easy on him. I wouldn’t even stay at their house.”
I’m dying to ask where he’s been staying for the last few months if not with his family, but I manage to restrain myself. How close has he been all this time when I thought he’d moved on and forgotten me?
But he hadn’t. Instead, he’d been trying to see if there was anything to salvage from his father’s family, even though he had no reason to believe that was possible. It was worth admiring. And so was his honesty about his part in it.
“For most of my life, the only thing I knew about my father was his name, because I had the same one,” I say into the silence.
“I spent a lot of time imagining what the other Nolan Winston was like. Half superhero and half saint one day, a member of a famous boy band the next. I needed him to be special, because my mother…” I hesitate, not wanting to say too much.
“She wasn’t. I was thirteen when I found out he’d been a thief.
And not a very good one, since he’d been in prison off and on for most of my life.
After that, I was relieved I hadn’t gotten to meet him before he died.
Even so, if I’d discovered I had a brother or sister that he’d treated well with all his ill-gotten gains while I was left with the woman who hated me?
I might have had a problem with them too.
I might think they were just like him. And twisted as it is, I might wonder what it was about me that wasn’t worth their time. ”
Michael went still while I spoke. I was trying to commiserate, but I’d only highlighted our differences instead. He was the product of an affair between a billionaire and an artist. I’m the son of a hypocrite and a criminal.
“What I’m trying to say is, you don’t have to feel bad about not instantly bonding with the man.
In a way, it would have been easier if you were just as surprised as he was, because you wouldn’t have any prejudice to deal with.
Instead, your asshole boss kept rubbing him in your face, and your father embraced him while keeping you at a distance.
Have you told Bellamy about any of that? ”
“No. I don’t want to badmouth his family.”
I look at him pointedly. “You’re his family, Michael. And don’t think you’re only here because of Seamus, though he is the mediator of the Finns. If Bellamy didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be. I’m guessing he would love to know why you haven’t been dazzled by his charms yet.”
Michael dips his chin, as if in acknowledgement, and then turns back toward the kitchen counter. “Come help me with this.”
I’m actually grateful the attention is off me and my revealing attempt to make him feel better. I never talk about my family. Not even with my friends. They witnessed enough of it firsthand and don’t need the recap.
Wanting this man to know it’s okay to be in a bad mood about a shitty family situation, and that he’s not alone, suddenly seemed too important for me to keep my mouth shut. But it’s left me feeling naked and raw.
“Can you knead this while I’m dealing with the rest of it?” He asks in a subdued voice.
I look at the large ball of herb-flecked dough on the counter. When did he put that together? “This looks completely different than the choux pastry. Is it for the tower too?”
“No. This is brioche. For our dinner. I’d appreciate the help.”
“No problem.” It’s nice to be appreciated. And needed.
It’s probably nice to be kneaded too.
The act of it is comforting. The press and stretch of the ingredients beneath my fingertips and knuckles. The sprinkling of flour to make it easier to handle and less sticky. We work in silence for long, satisfying minutes, Michael on the pastry puffs, and me on dinner duty.
I don’t feel the need to fill it with music or trivia.
I’m in the zone, looking at all that snow piled up to the base of the window.
The sight actually relaxes me. I have nowhere to go right now.
Nothing to hurry to or worry about. Nowhere to be but here with Michael in this kitchen.
I could get used to this. And to the M&M sisters, who are weaving between my feet and rubbing themselves affectionately against me before leaving to chase each other around the living room.
“They like you,” he says behind me. “I think that’s ready to rest now.”
“Oh, okay.” I stop kneading and take my hands to the sink to wash them off. “I like them too. It’s biologically impossible for me not to. They’re just too cute.”
“You seem to know a lot about the Finns.”
“On the subject of cute things?” I glance at him over my shoulder with a smirk.
“No,” he says adamantly. “But I met you at their pub, and you know about Seamus and Kate.”
“I do know more about the family than I want to. I could probably write a book, but one of their exes attempted a tell-all once and Ken, Brady and some columnist named JD almost destroyed her for it. Speaking of wills, that was her reasoning. She was worried her parents would disinherit her if they realized she’d signed away her rights to little Zachary and made a few bad decisions as a result. ”
Michael frowns. “Are we still talking about Finns or is this an episode of the show I haven’t seen?”
I laugh, because it could totally be in that show. “It’s real. They live very exciting lives, those Finns.”
“And you know about it because…?”
“Bex. Her boss knows everything about them, which means she does too. It also means I get all the best gossip. And she trusts I won’t tell anyone, because I know what Tanaka could do to me.”
His frown disappears. “Right. Those satellites.”
“Those damn satellites.”
After wrapping the dough and setting it to the side to proof, he leans against the counter, close enough for me to feel the heat of him. “If you’re willing to risk it, it occurs to me I could use a class on what to expect tomorrow. Feel like teaching me what you know?”
“An investigator wants intel on his brother-in-law’s family?” I raise my eyebrows in feigned shock. “I thought we’d already established that I suck at spying.”
“Not a sly spy. Just a guy that hates to lie,” he repeats verbatim.
I can’t resist tossing my arms over his neck and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “I find it stupidly arousing when you do that.”
“Do what?”
“Remember things I’ve said. Even silly rhymes in the middle of snowy rescues.”
He pulls me closer, sliding his arms around me. “I remember everything about you, Win.”
My heart flops around like a beached fish gasping for air.
I’ve got no armor when it comes to Michael Demir.
No protection against his tender assaults.
And like the newly needy clinger I’ve become, I can’t help but ask, “Does that mean when this weekend is over and you fly off to Italy or Paris with the M&Ms, you won’t forget about me? ”
Ugh. Who am I right now?
His hold on me tightens. “It means you’re unforgettable.” He kisses me. “Irresistible.” Another kiss. “And you make me insatiable.”
“I’m really digging the vocabulary.” I tilt my head to the side when he starts to kiss my neck, willing him to forget my question in return for sexual favors.
“Fine. I’ll let you interrogate me to learn what I know about the Finns.
Are you finished with the puffs already?
And how long does that dough need to rest? ”
He lifts his mouth and starts to smile. “I’m taking a break. We have plenty of time for me to get my answers.”
“I was hoping you were going to say that.”