Chapter 22 #2
Brady is crying and…I admit it. I’m tearing up too. Four months means I’ll still be on sabbatical. Even if I can’t afford the flight and have to hide in someone’s luggage, there’s no way I’ll be missing that ceremony.
“Holy shit,” Connor says. “That’s where everybody was today?”
“Ken called and asked me and Val to be their witnesses,” Bex admits. “It was beautiful.”
I’ve got to say, as an olive branch, that was the perfect one for Bex. She’s been vocal for years about wanting those two to finally tie the knot.
“Win, come up here and sing a song for us to dance to. Dealer’s choice.”
I look toward the open doorway, my eyes seeking out the one person I’ve been thinking about all night. Where is Michael?
“We all deserve to be happy, Win. Our problem—yours and mine—is getting out of our own way so it can happen.”
Ken took his own advice today. I think about how long those two have been in love with each other.
About the fifty years Shawn and Ellen spent together, supporting each other and raising children who wouldn’t accept anything less than everything.
That kind of love is real and the proof is all around me.
Hearing the gossip about how they came together is different than witnessing their devotion for myself.
All of them had obstacles. Pasts and scandals and prejudices to overcome.
But they were still together. All still happy and still so in love it makes me ache with something I’ve never experienced before. Hope.
I’m scared, but I know what I need to do.
I have to tell Michael how I feel about him and see what happens next. Get out of my own way and trust what my heart is telling me.
Shit. Am I really going to do this now? Declare myself after a single weekend? In front of my friends and all those Finns?
Where the hell is he so I can do this before I lose my nerve?
“Nineteen thirteen,” I blurt.
“Uh-oh,” Val mutters, sending a panicked glance to Bex.
“What is he mumbling?” she asks.
“That’s the year. The first time the federal government officially recognized marriage in the Revenue Act,” I explain shakily.
“Okay, man. That isn’t even a funny anecdote. You’re just throwing out test questions now. Take a breath and tell us why you’re nervous,” Connor says soothingly. “You don’t have to sing again if you don’t want to.”
“I’m fine now. I needed to get that out.”
Walking over to Ken, I take the microphone with a wordless look. I still don’t see Michael. Did he go back to the kitchens? Did he leave while everyone was celebrating Ken and Brady’s marriage news? Had I missed my chance?
He can’t have gone that far. For some reason, I’m reminded of that moment in the snowstorm when I thought I was alone and decided to sing, praying someone would hear me.
I need him to hear me now.
I take a breath and start to sing without musical accompaniment while every member of the Finn family, and most of the lodge employees, stare at me.
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
Bless the keyboardist for knowing his classics and following my lead.
I’m not sure why I pick this song. There are so many to choose from.
Musical numbers, movie soundtracks, every love song ever written at my fingertips, and it’s this simple song—a slower, slightly more modern rendition than the original Frankie Valli’s—that pops out of my mental jukebox, saying the words I need Michael to hear.
You’d be like heaven to touch
I want to hold you so much
I lost it and walked away from him earlier because I was afraid. I still am, but I couldn’t let it stop me from admitting something so beautifully, obnoxiously obvious.
I’m in love with Michael Demir.
He’s standing a few feet away from the stage, staring up at me as though mesmerized. We’re almost in the exact position we were in the first time we saw each other, and relief washes over me. He’s still here.
It’s been like this between us from the beginning. And that cord between us keeps drawing us together. Making it impossible to look away or deny what’s between us. A few days or a few years, something in me knows it won’t make any difference.
I don’t want to be with him because I don’t want to be alone and anyone will do. I’m not my mother, the same way he keeps insisting he’s not his father. We’re Win and Michael, and wherever we go from here can be entirely up to us.
The rest of the band catches up as I step off the stage and walk towards him.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I’m alive
You’re just too good to be true
Can’t take my eyes off of you
When I get to the “I love you baby’s,” he gently pulls me into his arms. I sing the rest of the song as he sways us back and forth among all the dancers who’ve poured onto the floor around us. Then I turn off the mic and let it drop between us as the band keeps playing.
“I might be followed by evil satellites for the rest of my life,” I murmur.
Michael smiles. “Why is that?”
“Because I used Tanaka’s wedding announcement to get you back here.”
Michael glances over my head. “He’s wrapped in his blissful husband’s arms. And technically, he used someone else’s anniversary party to announce his wedding, so you were just following his lead. I think we’re safe.”
When he meets my gaze again, my heart is beating so hard I can feel it in my throat. “I’m sorry about earlier. My weird caveman rant, dropping my trauma at your feet and then leaving… Just all of it.”
“You never have to apologize to me for telling the truth.” He shakes his head. “I’d rather you hadn’t left after, but I understand.”
“I’m glad you do. Because I have no idea how to do any of this.”
His brow furrows. “Do what?”
My mouth drops open. “Was that song not clear enough? I’ve never serenaded anyone to tell them I might be in love with them before. I’m not sure if I did it right.”
His arms tighten around me. “Might be?”
My laugh sounds more like a groan of frustration. “You have to meet me halfway, Numpy. Telling me how you feel might be a good start. You know, so I’m not walking out on that shaky confession bridge on my own.”
“I love you,” he says so swiftly it makes me gasp.
“I’ve been in love with you since December.
After that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.
You were around every corner and in every song on the radio.
I woke up missing you, and I didn’t even know your name.
I was planning to find you when this weekend was over.
The Bellamy situation was awkward and I wasn’t sure if I should stay, but I couldn’t let myself think about leaving until I saw you again. ”
My heart pounds harder. “You didn’t even know me back then.”
“I can’t explain it either, which is why I didn’t know how to tell you without scaring you away. I fell in love with you at Finn’s Pub, but I found out how much I liked you at our cabin in the woods. When you left this morning, I realized I couldn’t live without you.”
He’s saying everything right. And still… “How would it work? You don’t even know where you’ll be going next. You don’t even live in this state. I’d love to go on vacation to all those places you’ve mentioned, but my friends are here. My job.”
Michael stops swaying. “Are you asking me to stay, Win? To be your boyfriend? Your first since that one little snot-nosed asshole that didn’t deserve you?”
Am I? Hell yes, I am.
“I’m not calling you my lover, and if you ever say I’m da bomb dot com, we have to break up immediately.”
He laughs, his expression full of wonder and, yes, hope, as he presses his forehead to mine. “You want me to stay with you.”
I really do.
“That depends,” I bluff weakly. “Can I wear your T-shirt again? Will you still make me fancy cookies?”
He closes his eyes and exhales softly. “Make sure you mean this, Win. Because I won’t let you take it back tomorrow. You’ll be mine.”
I can’t stop the goofy smile forming on my face.
“It’s like I got lost and fell into one of those fantasy books.
We find each other and lose each other in the same night.
We meet again and end up stuck in a cabin, complete with a sex marathon.
Now we’re dancing at an anniversary slash wedding announcement and… ”
“And it feels like it was all supposed to happen,” he whispers, his lips somehow closer to mine.
Like it was meant to be.
“It kind of does.” I lick my lips. “You know, I have a room here. With a lock on the door. We could steal whatever’s left of that dessert the winner of baking made and sneak away without anyone noticing.”
“Anything you say.”
He’s guiding me toward the door when the band starts playing “All I Do is Win” and I know Bex is to blame. She did have them at her mercy for over twenty-four hours.
I look back to see my three best friends jumping around like idiots and pointing at me while they sing along. Which, of course, makes the rest of the party turn to see exactly who or what they’re pointing at. Me. Leaving to have more sex with Bellamy’s brother. Whom I love and will probably marry.
That’s right, I said it. I’ve been converted now. I’m a true believer. After this weekend, how can I be anything else?
I smile apologetically at Michael. “That’s my family. That’s what you’re going to have to deal with on a daily basis if you’re serious about this.”
In answer, Michael picks me up like a bride and carries me out of the dining hall to a raucous round of applause. I decide not to mention his boundary problems. The truth is, I kind of love it when he does this. I also might have a new title for my movie.
Skinny Winnie Meets His Match.