Epilogue
CLAIRE
One Year Later
“This was supposed to be small.”
I look between all four members of The Hometown Heartless and wave my hand around Sav’s backyard.
“This is not small.”
They all turn faux-innocent smiles on me. I’m not fooled. There’s not an ounce of contrition to be found between the four of them.
“Technically, going off the guest list, this is small,” Sav says, batting her eyelashes at me. I scowl, and she sighs. “We went a little overboard, but it’s not a big deal. It will be fun!”
“Savannah. There’s a pony in your back yard. This is a first birthday party, not a county fair.”
“Wait until you see the manicurist.”
I turn around and find Ezra, the guitarist for Caveat Lover wiggling his fingers at me. They’re pink with purple gemstones on them. I only have seconds to admire them, though, because his outfit has me raising an eyebrow.
“Ezra. What are you wearing?”
“Oh.” He grins and spins in a circle. “Two of the princesses had to cancel, so I stepped up. My wig and heels are over there.”
My jaw drops, his pink ball gown forgotten as I whip back around to face the other bandmembers .
“ Two of the princesses? How many are there?”
“Just four,” Mabel says, and Jonah steps in front of me with his hands folded under his chin.
“Don’t be mad, Trouble. Teddy’s only going to turn one once. I wanted to give her the best birthday party.”
I laugh, my irritation already disappearing. “She won’t even remember this, Jo.”
“But we will.”
“Yeah, especially because he’s hired a photographer and a videographer,” Torren cuts.
Jonah shoots him a scowl and Torren laughs. I take a deep breath and look back at Jonah.
“Why didn’t you at least tell me?”
“You’ve been working your ass off with Rock Loveless, and since I’m returning to Heartless next weekend, I didn’t want to add any more stress to your plate.”
“I told you not to worry about that. I’m excited for you to go back. I thought you should have gone back six weeks ago when they started the new tour.”
He shakes his head.
“Hell no. I would have missed Teddy’s first steps. Her first words. I’m already having separation anxiety, and I haven’t even started yet.”
I smirk. “It’s not like we won’t be right there with you.”
“I know.” Jonah wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a hug. “I’m sorry the party is bigger than I said it would be. It’s going to be fun. I promise.”
I sink into his hold. “Ezra Hawke is dressed like a princess.”
His rumbling laugh vibrates against me. “Crue is dressed like a princess too.”
I pull back and stare at him.
“Fifty percent of the princesses are Caveat boys?” Jonah smirks, and I roll my eyes. “You better get them on that video.”
“Already on it.”
I lean into his hold for a few more breaths, then I step back and look toward Sav, Mabel, and Torren.
“Okay. Do your thing.” They whoop and clap as if they had any doubts, and I shake my head with a laugh. “You’re all incorrigible. ”
Jonah presses a kiss to my head, and then I leave him and his bandmates to go back to whatever mischief they were making before I interrupted. I walk back to the living room where I left Teddy coloring with Brynn, Red, and Sav’s mom.
I bounce my eyes between the three of them.
“Did you all also know that this first birthday party was going to be a veritable three-ring circus?”
Red and Brynn both nod, but Sav’s mom Sharon throws up her hands.
“I knew, but I didn’t know until last night when my flight got in.”
Brynn grins. “But if Gram did know, she’d have supported it.”
I arch a brow at Sharon, and she smiles in a way that makes her look a lot like Sav. “You do only turn one once.”
I shake my head and take a seat on the couch. I watch as Brynn helps Teddy color in a book full of puppies, and then I look back at Sharon.
“Are you coming with to the Art Fusion show?”
“I’m not sure yet,” she says with a shrug. “I know it’s the ten-year anniversary, but I’m not the biggest fan of music festivals, to be honest. I might come for a few of the shows in Asia, though.”
Sav’s mom lives on the coast in North Carolina and visits once a month or so. From what I understand, she and Sav only reconnected a few years ago, but her relationship with Sav is a good one. It gives me hope for my own family.
My mom and stepfather have been out to visit a few times in the last year, but I haven’t had a chance to go home. I’ve been busy, yes. Having a baby and starting a new job is time-consuming. That’s not the only reason I haven’t returned to that small town on the East Coast I used to call home, though. It’s also because I haven’t wanted to. Not because of guilt or regret, but because of trauma. That town holds a lot of bad memories for me, and while I’m healing more every day, I’m not in a place to subject myself to a town full of triggers.
I watched my mom and brother be abused in that town. I was emotionally manipulated by their abuser in that town. I was so lost and confused as a kid in that town that I started purging. I was taken advantage of by a boy I thought loved me. I lost my best friend in a way that, at the time, felt like the worst kind of betrayal .
That town helped create the ugliest parts of me, and I’m not ready to face it.
For now, I’m more than happy in LA with Jonah and Teddy. I look forward to our weekly dinners with Sav, Mabel, Torren, and their families. I enjoy working for Rock Loveless Records. I even like helping wrangle the Caveat Lover boys, despite the headaches they cause me. I honestly don’t know how Callie puts up with them.
I love my life and the people in it, and it’s honestly the first time I’ve ever been able to say that. Maybe someday I’ll be able to go back home, but not yet, and I’m in no hurry.
I pull myself from my thoughts and smile at Sharon.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here now. Thank you for making the trip for Teddy’s birthday.”
Sharon smiles. “Honey, I wouldn’t miss it.”
After a few minutes, Mabel pops back inside and claps her hands.
“Everyone! The party is starting. If you’ll all follow me out to the yard, we can begin the festivities.”
I laugh and stand, then pick up Teddy.
“Alright, Teddy girl,” I say with a smile. “Let’s go see your very first circus.”
“First of many if Jonah has anything to say about it.”
I flick my eyes to Brynn and find her grinning. She’s not wrong, but I don’t really understand the extent of it until we step foot in the backyard.
It’s not just a pony.
It’s a magician, a DJ, a guy making balloon animals, a tower of cupcakes, and, yes, two princesses and two Caveat boys in drag.
“Good Lord,” I say on an exhale, scanning the yard for more surprises. I have to blink several times when I find another one. “Is that...is that a Wiggle?”
Brynn follows my line of sight and then snorts. “Yep. That is a Wiggle.”
“Good Lord.”
“Look on the bright side, Aunt Claire. At least you don’t have to do any of the cleanup.”
I laugh and nod. “At least there’s that. ”
As soon as Jonah spots me, he practically sprints to my side. He kisses me, kisses Teddy, then flares his eyes.
“Isn’t this the best?”
I smile and nod. “The best.”
“Hammond got a Wiggle. Did you see the Wiggle?”
“I did. I did see the Wiggle.”
He kisses me again, then scoops our daughter into his arms. “C’mon, Teddy baby. Let’s go ride a pony.”
After a few minutes of observing, I have to admit that this party is pretty great. They were all right. It’s fun. It’s a lot of fun, and the best part is seeing Teddy have fun. She’s nothing but giggles and smiles as she’s passed among all of these people who love her, and seeing her with Ezra, Crue, and the other two princesses is something I will never forget.
By the time we get to cake and presents, my cheeks hurt from all the smiling I’ve done. But then the mountain of gifts is revealed, and my smile falls.
So much for “nothing big or extravagant.”
My eyes find the Caveat boys in the crowd, and I march over to them, stopping in front of Ezra.
“Did you get her a drum set?”
“How’d you know?”
He’s playing dumb. He’s good at that. I gesture to what is obviously a drum set with each individual drum and cymbal wrapped in wrapping paper.
“What does that look like to you?” I ask with an arched brow, and he grins.
“Okay, you got me. But I had to upstage Rock.”
I turn to Rocky. “What did you get her?”
“A guitar.”
I laugh. “Let me guess. It’s a bedazzled pink Fender.”
He doesn’t answer, but he smiles, and that’s all the confirmation I need.
“Guys. She can barely walk.”
“Don’t worry, Claire Bear. I’ll keep the drums until Ted’s old enough.”
“Yeah, and then I’ll teach her how to play the Fender. ”
A familiar tattooed arm drops onto my shoulder, and I’m awash in Jonah’s clean, woodsy scent.
“If anyone is going to teach my daughter how to play guitar, Halstrom, it will be me.”
“You’ll have arthritis in your hands by then, old man.”
“An old man who can still outplay you.”
I roll my eyes and step out of Jo’s hold, leaving him and Rocky to their competitive banter. I take Teddy to the birthday girl chair, Mabel gives her a little birthday crown, and Callie places a cupcake in front of her. We sing Happy Birthday and laugh as she demolishes her cupcake and opens her gifts. The whole time, I’m grateful Jonah thought to hire people to document it all, and when we finally get into the car to head back home, I’m on cloud nine.
“You were right. That was fun, and I’m glad you guys did it.”
He leans over the gear shift and kisses me. “I’m glad you had fun.”
I’m ready for bed when we pull up to the house, but there’s a package on our porch.
“Another surprise?” I ask him, and he shakes his head as he turns off the car.
“This one wasn’t me.”
He picks up the package and carries it into the house while I carry a sleeping Teddy in her car seat, and then we put both down when we reach the living room.
“It’s addressed to Teddy. Return address is from Virginia.”
I furrow my brow. “My mom and stepdad already sent their gift.”
That leaves one other possibility.
I open the package slowly. I find a gift-wrapped box inside so I open that too.
And then I smile.
“A little pottery wheel?”
Jonah sounds confused, but I don’t explain right away. Instead, I find a birthday card and open it.
Happy 1 st Birthday, Theodora.
Love, Macon, Lennon, Gabe, and Charlotte
“That was nice of them,” Jonah says. I nod .
“Yeah. Macon throws pottery. Remember that vase?”
“Oh, that’s right.” Jonah drags his hand up and down my back slowly. “I think someday, whenever you’re ready, Teddy is going to love meeting her cousins.”
I lean into his hold and flick my eyes back to where our daughter is fast asleep.
Jonah and I are determined to make sure that the traumas of our past will never touch her. She will grow up knowing that she matters. She will never have to doubt if her parents love her without condition. She will never have to look at herself and question if she’s enough. He and I have made so many mistakes, but she’s not one of them.
I love this life. I love Jonah. I love our daughter. I love the people we spend our days with. And for the first time in my entire life, I love who I’ve become.
I’m content. I’m happy.
I’m healing.
I look up into Jonah’s eyes and smile.
“I think she will, too.”
The End