Audiobook Bloopers
AUDIOBOOK BLOOPERS
[Mollie Stark]
Hey everyone, thank you for listening. We have something else for you too. Outtakes. Enjoy.
[Jason Clarke]
The car stops and Claire gets out without a word. I finish the page I'm reading, dog-ear it to hold my place. How dare you. Um.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, I'm a dog-earer.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, you are?
[Mollie Stark]
Only to my books.
[Jason Clarke]
How could you? I'm just kidding.
[Mollie Stark]
It's because I love them so much.
[Jason Clarke]
I don't know, I think it got beaten out of me when I was like in college or something. There's nothing wrong with it. It's cute. Yeah.
[Mollie Stark]
I went bookshelf diving for heroes who wear glasses on the break.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Yeah, we were talking about how it's rare that I feel like these guys in books wear glasses. Or if they do wear glasses, they're like shy about it.
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah, you're right. They don't really.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Yeah.
[Mollie Stark]
Like, I love a hero who wears glasses.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Yeah.
[Mollie Stark]
But it's rare that they're like, it's rare that it's through the whole book. It's a lot like, if they show up, it's usually stuff like this where it's like, ooh, he had his glasses on three times in the book.
[Jason Clarke]
Well, I have glasses.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, nice.
[Jason Clarke]
I'm wearing them right now. I'm going to have to take them off and be like, excuse me, I have to clean my glasses .
[Brittney Cottingham]
Works every time, works every time.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, God. Yeah, the irony, too, is like, over the course of me looking at these books, I got back into the booth and I was like, shit, where did I put my glasses?
[Mollie Stark]
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. It’s like, uh, is that like…
[Jason Clarke]
Welcome to the McDonald's building.
[Mollie Stark]
Okay, I think we've just entered Big Mouth. Big Head, Big Mouth, yeah.
[Jason Clarke]
Big Mouth, what is that? The show?
[Mollie Stark]
Yeah.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, is that a bit from, oh, is it because it sounds like Nick Kroll?
[Mollie Stark]
You just became a hormone monster, my friend. You have not watched that show?
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, I watched it a long time ago. Oh, I forgot about it. Okay, yeah, I hear you. I feel everything, and I'm grateful for it.
[Mollie Stark]
Do you want to know the sex?
[Jason Clarke]
I whip my head to Claire, and she nods.
[Mollie Stark]
It's up to you. I'm scheduled this— I scheduled this one so you'd be here for it. Sorry, hang on one sec.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, boy, that sounds like a leaf blower.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Oh, no.
[Jason Clarke]
Or a blender. Air dryer.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Yeah.
[Jason Clarke]
She's like, hey, cut that shit out. We'll keep this on bloopers.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Oh, yeah, for sure.
[Jason Clarke]
Everybody, this is the odyssey of stopping whatever loud, high-pitched sound that was. I only imagine that fists are flying, blood spilled— Oh, you're back.
[Mollie Stark]
Yeah, sorry.
[Jason Clarke]
Was that a hair dryer? Was that a leaf blower?
[Mollie Stark]
Yeah.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, sweet. Good job.
[Mollie Stark]
Thank you.
[Jason Clarke]
We're going to keep this in the bloopers, but, um?—
[Mollie Stark]
Me running out?
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah, yeah, I tried to, like, make it funny.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, really? Oh, good. I can't wait to hear it.
[Jason Clarke]
We'll find out. She matters. She fucking matters. And I can't lose her.
[Brittney Cottingham]
All right.
[Mollie Stark]
Okay. See, I had a really, like, beautiful song from Waitress running through my head.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, no. I'm hearing, like— It's Rudolph's theme.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, no, I'm hearing, like, you matter to me.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, yeah. It's like— Yeah, yeah.
[Mollie Stark]
Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody— Come on! You gotta ruin it with McDonald's.
[Jason Clarke]
McDonald's.
[Mollie Stark]
I mean, that is one of the greatest jingle boxes of all time.
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah, and you have Brian Cox mumbling it out.
[Mollie Stark]
I'm going to ride your face now.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, fuck yes.
[Mollie Stark]
Impress me.
[Jason Clarke]
Okay.
[Mollie Stark]
That's fun.
[Jason Clarke]
ba-da-ba-ba-ba
[Mollie Stark]
Nice to meet you, Davi.
[Jason Clarke]
You as well.
[Mollie Stark]
He looks back at Jonah.
[Jason Clarke]
Are you ready? We're ready. Great.
[Mollie Stark]
He claps his hands together once and smiles.
[Jason Clarke]
We've got three stops today. Dang it, almost had it.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, my God, crushing it.
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah, right?
[Mollie Stark]
Yeah, doing great.
[Jason Clarke]
I'm going to have to take another look at it.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, yeah.
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah.
[Mollie Stark]
If you want to do that now, go ahead.
[Jason Clarke]
Let's just do it now. Oh, I was— Okay. I tried. I really tried.
[Mollie Stark]
Portuguese is so hard.
[Jason Clarke]
It makes no sense.It makes no sense.
[Mollie Stark]
It's so hard.
[Jason Clarke]
All right. All right, here we go. We have it up here. It's all going to be okay.
[Mollie Stark]
It is going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Legit, Portuguese is so hard.
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah, I had it. I'm sorry, Brittney.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Yes.
[Jason Clarke]
Mom.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Yes.
[Jason Clarke]
Oh, it's in the Google Drive. I found the Google Drive. Now we're here. I put this in the bloopers. I didn't do my?—
[Mollie Stark]
No, you did.
[Jason Clarke]
I did. Yesterday. Okay, I got it.
[Brittney Cottingham]
Hot. Love it.
[Mollie Stark]
Sick. Crushing it.
[Jason Clarke]
Bloopers. Why does it have to be sexy? I don't know.
[Mollie Stark]
Well, it's a fake British accent, so.
[Jason Clarke]
We can have a scone. Here we go.
[Mollie Stark]
We can have a scone.
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah. Oliver all of a sudden. All right.
[Mollie Stark]
Oh, God. Less keen on sparking up a relationship with me.
[Jason Clarke]
He takes my hand. Oh, damn it. I'm sorry.
[Mollie Stark]
I was like, yeah. I was just listening to you.
[Jason Clarke]
Go for it.
[Mollie Stark]
Okay, that's going to be my favorite blooper.
[Jason Clarke]
No. No, I never make mistakes.
[Mollie Stark]
My brain has been doing that our whole record. I just keep waiting for you to pick up the narration, so. Okay.
[Jason Clarke]
I want you, Claire. And it's going to get me in so much fucking trouble. But you want to know a secret?
[Mollie Stark]
Yes. I whisper. And I feel him smile.
[Jason Clarke]
Trouble is my weakness.
[Mollie Stark]
Okay. Okay.
[Jason Clarke]
Trouble and you walked in.
[Mollie Stark]
Wait, is that the song where the goat? Where the screaming goat?
[Jason Clarke]
Yes. That was a big old meme.
[Mollie Stark]
So stupid, but so funny.
[Jason Clarke]
Yeah.
[Mollie Stark]
So stupid. So funny.