Chapter 1 #2
With that, I wove through the crowded restaurant and out the door before he could suggest meeting again.
“That doesn’t look like fries,” Maddie said as soon as I entered our apartment. “There’d better be food in that bag. I didn’t have time for lunch, and I don’t feel like making a grilled cheese. Again.”
My sister loved food as much as I did, but neither of us had the time to cook, let alone the skills. “Beef Wellington, duck fat potatoes, roasted brussels sprouts with balsamic reduction, and what I’m hoping is a massive slice of Black Forrest cake.”
“You’re forgiven,” Maddie said, power walking to the kitchen. “I’ll grab the silverware. Milkshakes are already on the counter.”
Soon after moving into our two-bedroom apartment, Maddie and I realized we needed space for both our desks more than we needed a table and chairs.
As a third-year med student, she was always studying for something, and as an associate hoping to make partner, it wasn’t uncommon for me to work on cases late into the night.
Plus, it wasn’t like we were entertaining anyone.
A couple bar stools at the counter separating the kitchen area from the rest of the living room were all we needed.
I kicked off my heels and sighed as my aching toes sank into the carpet. With each step toward the counter, I tried to let the day’s frustrations melt away. I pulled the to-go cartons from the bag before I climbed onto a stool and sniffed a milkshake.
“What did you put in this?” I asked as Maddie wiggled onto the stool beside me.
“Just drink it,” she said, opening both containers. “Fancy.” She popped a potato into her mouth and let out a moan that sounded like our upstairs neighbors every Wednesday and Saturday night. Bernice and Frank had a schedule for everything.
I tried a potato and the rest of my irritation melted. “That almost makes tonight’s date worthwhile.”
“What happened this time?” Maddie asked, halving the beef with the precision of a surgeon-in-training.
“He’s getting divorced and wanted free legal advice.”
She shook her head. “At least you got a meal out of it.”
I made a noncommittal sound and shoved a sprout in my mouth. How anyone could make a vegetable taste sweet with vinegar, I’d never know.
Maddie huffed and hacked into her piece of meat with much less finesse than she’d used to portion it. “You paid for everything again, didn’t you?”
Instead of answering right away, I took a sip of my milkshake. It tasted suspiciously like protein powder. Leave it to my sister to ruin perfectly good junk food with something healthy. I’m surprised she hadn’t asked me to hunt down zucchini fries. “I wanted to leave on good terms.”
“Why? So he can set you up with one of his friends? Because guys like that surround themselves with high-value men?” She rolled her eyes before shoving a huge piece of beef into her mouth. “Wow,” she mumbled, the tension in her face easing as she chewed.
“You sound like a podcast,” I said, cutting into my half of the filet. It had to be great to soften up Maddie once she’d climbed on her soapbox. “What is a high-value man, anyway?”
“I don’t sound like a podcast,” she said after swallowing. “I sound like the voice of reason. You should have split the bill. Though, the longer you take to save up for a house, the longer I don’t have to share an apartment with some rando until I can afford a place of my own.”
While Maddie and I were fortunate enough to have parents who paid whatever our scholarships didn’t cover for our undergraduate degrees, we were on our own for anything after.
I earned a partial scholarship to law school that made my student loans manageable, but Maddie had a growing mountain of debt and a year to go before she earned a paycheck.
“I figured you’d just move with me into a house.
Maybe we could adopt a dog like the one I keep using to get out of bad dates. ”
“I’ll live with you as long as you’ll let me, but we’re gone too much to have a dog.” Maddie looked around our apartment before returning her attention to her plate. “All the more reason not to waste money on mediocre men when you could be selflessly improving our living conditions.”
We ate for a while in silence, both of us savoring each bite. Our only meals not from a can or the freezer were takeout or when we went to our parents’ house on Sunday.
“Damn, this is good,” Maddie said. “You should have brought his meal home too, since you paid for it.”
“I’ve got a lot going against me, and you know how people talk around here.”
Maddie raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, I can see how being gorgeous, smart, and kind puts you at a real disadvantage.”
“I didn’t get Mom’s face like you.” My sister and I had the same dark hair and light brown eyes, but her features were soft and full. The only thing delicate about me was my voice.
“Sorry your cheekbones are so high and your jawline is so defined. Must be awful.”
“You wouldn’t believe the number of times I’ve been told I have resting bitch face. And you didn’t answer my question. What is a high-value man?”
Maddie opened her mouth, then shut it again. Finally, she shrugged. “Why ask me? I bet you have a checklist somewhere of your ideal partner.”
My cheeks heated. I hadn’t typed up an official list, but I’d certainly given it some thought. “Is it a crime to know what I want?”
Maddie put down her fork and swiveled her stool to face me. “Let’s hear it.”
“So you can tell me a man like that doesn’t exist? No thanks.”
“Maybe I want to see if your standards are too low,” she said, drumming her fingers on the counter. “Now spill before my dinner gets cold.”
“Fine,” I said. “Someone who wants a long-term commitment.”
Maddie sighed. “If you just wanted to get dicked down, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“OK, they’d have to want kids,” I said, holding up a finger. “Not be intimidated by my job or paycheck,” I added with another finger. “But also have their own thing so I don’t feel like I’m being taken advantage of,” I said, holding up a third finger.
“And?”
I shrugged and reached for my fork. “That’s it.
It’d be great if they were taller than me.
” At five foot ten, my height alone intimidated some men, something Maddie could relate to since we were within a quarter inch of each other.
My baby sister was very proud of her extra centimeters.
However, I usually left the house in four-inch heels and she wore sneakers or hideous rubber shoes, so at least I towered over her in public.
“And be decent in bed, or at least willing to take suggestions.”
Maddie laughed and shook her head. “It’s sad how unlikely you are to find a man around here who meets such low standards.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” I said, stabbing another potato. The flavorful spuds certainly made my mistake of meeting Ben/Trent for dinner easier to swallow. “I either threaten guys’ egos, so they try to put me down or control me, or they want to use me for sex. I think I need a dating hiatus.”
“Fantastic,” Maddie said, sounding genuinely pleased. “Just use them for sex whenever you need and age into spinsterhood with me.”
I fought the laugh rising from my chest. Maddie could always flip my mood, no matter how pissed or sad I felt. “I don’t think spinsterhood is still a thing. Besides, I want kids, which puts a time limit on finding a guy.”
“Kids are great,” Maddie said, turning back to her plate. “Personally, I’m content to be the cool aunt to whatever kids you pop out and all the second-gen O’Malleys.”
Our parents still lived next door to Mr. and Mrs. O’Malley, and we’d been raised with their four children as though we were all siblings. With Aiden and his fiancée, Lauren, becoming first-time parents last month, all the O’Malley kids now had families of their own.
“I want to give Mom and Dad grandkids. Seeing them with Logan—”
I stopped as my throat tightened. Hearing my older brother’s name spoken again without grief was something I never expected.
“That baby is healing a lot of people,” Maddie said, blinking back tears.
“I don’t know about healing,” I said once I’d gotten myself under control. “More like my heart has grown to love another person. The hole our Logan left behind is the same, but the size of my heart in relation to it is bigger. If that makes any sense.”
Maddie smiled. “That’s the most beautiful and medically incorrect thing I’ve ever heard. Fine. Have all the kids. You don’t need a man for that. Just sperm. Or you could adopt.”
I sighed and let my shoulders slump. “I blame Mom and Dad for making me want the relationship they have.”
Despite everything they’d been through, my parents were still so in love.
Losing Logan could have driven a wedge between them, yet somehow their shared grief had made them even sweeter to one another.
They’d set the relationship bar so high, I probably would end up sharing spinsterhood with my sister.
“Yeah, I don’t have that problem,” Maddie said. “It’d be nice, but I’m more focused on my career.”
“As you should be. You’re only twenty-five and still have a residency to get through. There’s no reason I can’t make partner and be married by thirty.”
“OK,” Maddie said as she reached for the dessert box. “Let’s ignore the fact that you’re only two years older than me and thirty is an arbitrary age you chose for meeting your life goals. If you had to pick one, which would it be? Career or husband?”
“Any man I’d marry would support me trying to make partner, so the question is moot.”
Maddie chuckled and took a huge forkful of the decadent-looking cake. “I’ll never get used to your lawyer voice.”
I took a forkful of the dessert even though I hadn’t finished my half of the filet. Once Maddie started, she’d eat the whole slice if I didn’t get in there for my share.
Maddie let out another porn-star-worthy moan. “Next time you want to pay for someone’s dinner, take me. This is incredible.”
“I think I will. Online dating is exhausting. Why can’t I just bump into some guy with my grocery cart, fall in love, and live happily ever after?”
“Because you always forget to go to the grocery store when it’s your turn.”
I winced. “I’ll go tomorrow.”
Maddie shook her head and licked the cherry filling off her fork. “We’re going out tomorrow night.” She pointed the fork at me. “You better stock up on Saturday though. I have at least a twelve-hour shift, and if I come home to an empty fridge, I can’t take responsibility for my actions.”
“Fair,” I said, savoring another bite of cake before Maddie scooped up the rest. We chatted back and forth as we finished every crumb from the containers, and eventually the conversation boomeranged back to my pathetic love life.
“Who knows, maybe you’ll meet the love of your life at the bar tomorrow,” Maddie said.
I laughed so hard I snorted. “Assuming some new guy stumbles into Church Street Brews, what are the chances he’d approach our group of overprotective friends to talk to me?”
“For you,” Maddie said, crumpling the empty to-go boxes and tossing them in the trash, “maybe.”