Chapter 5
Chapter five
Everly
For as long as I could remember, Sunday afternoons were the best part of the week.
We’d go between the O’Malley’s backyard and ours while our parents stood together talking or grilling.
The dads went half and half on a smoker a decade ago and spent hours each week fussing with some hunk of meat or another.
Only snow or rain could move the weekly foodfest indoors.
Luckily, this afternoon felt more like spring than winter.
I was sprawled in a lounge chair with baby Logan fast asleep on my chest, the sunshine warming us both.
Since everyone wanted to hold the little guy, being the one he fell asleep on was like winning the lottery.
I’d already gotten twenty minutes of baby snuggles, and unless I voluntarily passed him to someone, I’d get to hold him his entire nap.
I rubbed his back as his warm little exhales danced across my neck.
Aiden’s older sisters had blessed the O’Malleys, and by extension us, with a gaggle of children, but little Logan felt more like ours.
Maybe because Aiden was closest in age to Maddie and me or that he took his role as my pseudo brother so seriously. Or it could simply be the baby’s name.
Whatever it was, I treasured every moment I had with Logan to the point I sometimes let the joyful chaos around me disappear, focusing only on the gift of holding him.
Too soon he’d be toddling around the yard with the other kids, too energetic to cuddle for more than a few moments before slipping into childhood, where I’d greet him with a hug before he’d run off to his next adventure.
Living happened in moments, most so small they only earned significance after passing, which I found especially true after losing my brother.
There were big moments with him. Christmases and family vacations, snatches of time when we knew to take pictures and videos to preserve the memories.
But despite all the videos and photographs we had of Logan, I mourned the things we’d missed.
The way he always whistled when he cleaned his room.
How frustrated he’d get when we went back-to-school shopping because everything was too short or too small for his linebacker body.
His inexplicable hatred of grapes. Something about the texture or how they resembled eyeballs.
All the little things I’d experienced a million times with him during our shared childhood, but none of us thought important enough to capture.
Now those were the moments I wished I could visit over and over again.
“So, you’re the lucky one today,” Aiden said, settling into the chair beside mine.
He smiled down at his son, and my chest tightened.
After my brother died, I never thought I’d see Aiden find peace.
Every week he horsed around with his nieces and nephews, laughing like the rest of us at their antics, but something dark had simmered beneath the surface.
I completely understood. He’d lost his best friend and his dream of playing pro football in the accident, and whether it was grief or anger or guilt, there’d been a sharp edge to his personality until baby Logan arrived.
I thought it had disappeared completely until Friday night.
“Do you need to hold him?” I asked quietly. Logan could sleep through just about anything, but I wasn’t chancing waking him by being too loud.
Aiden rubbed his forehead, and I knew he’d picked up on the question I hadn’t asked. Was he OK?
“I was kind of an asshole on Friday, wasn’t I?”
“Little bit,” I said.
Aiden blew out a breath. “After Theo was released from prison, I never thought I’d see him in cuffs again. Watching him get arrested last year brought all of it back.”
“Understandable. However, Levi was just doing his job.”
“Believe me, Lauren, Wyatt, and Theo have already chewed me out. I’ll apologize whenever I see the guy again.”
“Doubt he’ll be joining us at Church anytime soon,” I said. The disappointment that followed made me uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have enjoyed talking with Levi so much. And if my body’s reaction to his darts lesson was any sign, I really needed to keep my distance.
“Probably safer he didn’t,” Aiden said. “I heard Poppy glitter bombed him. No telling what she’d do next time.”
“That’s terrible,” I said, my voice rising despite Logan. “From what I can tell, Levi’s really nice.”
“Is he?” Aiden asked, studying my face with a shrewdness that made me want to squirm. Thankfully, I had the baby anchoring me to the chair.
“He’s partnered with my friend Ashley’s little brother, Tristan. He says Levi’s been a fantastic mentor. From what I can tell, the rest of the guys at the station respect him too.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard the same around town,” Aiden said, still observing me. “How well do you know him?”
“We cross paths sometimes at work.”
“Interesting.”
“We talking about Officer Studly?” Maddie asked, leaning against my chair. She reached down as if she were going to take Logan, and I shot her a glare that had her taking a step back and holding up her hands.
“Officer Studly?” Aiden asked, looking between us.
“Everly’s nickname for him, not mine,” Maddie said, winking at me. “It totally fits, Sis.”
Sometimes I hated my sister. She was wonderful and brilliant and beautifully unfiltered. I still wanted to smack her for Friday. As soon as he heard the nickname, Levi’s expression had blanked and stayed that way until he left the bar. I’d never been more embarrassed in my life.
Until Maddie opened her big mouth, I’d done a decent job of hiding my attraction.
I’d even stopped myself from drooling while watching him play darts.
He’d rolled up his shirt sleeves, showing each muscle in his forearms while he took aim and threw.
It shouldn’t have been sexy. It was darts, for crying out loud.
It didn’t matter. Cool competence was my undoing.
Most women saved that kind of reaction for musicians or actors, maybe an artist. Nothing turned me on faster than someone whose skills showed dedication and talent.
It didn’t matter if it was darts or basket weaving.
“You call him Office Studly?” Aiden asked me. “That seems inappropriate.”
“Like your nicknames are always appropriate,” Maddie said, giving him a shove.
“I’ve only called him that one time,” I hissed. Logan stirred and let out a disgruntled sound. I rubbed his back while I glared at my sister.
“Bet you call him that in your head all the time,” Maddie said.
“Can we please change the subject?” I said as my cheeks heated. I’d done more in my mind with Levi than call him Officer Studly. Talking about him made me want to hide my face. Only it’d take more than embarrassment to give up my baby time.
“Yes, please,” Aiden said, rubbing his forehead. “Watching the two of you date is so much worse than when my sisters were single.”
“Why’s that?” Maddie asked, plopping onto the arm of my chair as if settling in for a long chat.
“My sisters are vicious,” Aiden said. “I know they can handle themselves. I have the scars to prove it.”
“I’m sure you earned each one,” Lauren said as she walked toward us. She took a seat on Aiden’s lap and mussed up his hair.
“Probably,” Aiden said with a smile.
“Is your arm asleep yet?” Lauren asked me.
“Is that a nice way of asking for your son back?” I asked.
She shook her head and smiled. “I make sure to get extra snuggles Sunday morning. I know once we’re here, I’ll only get to hold him when he’s hungry.”
“Even less once he starts solids,” Maddie said matter-of-factly.
Lauren’s eyes widened as if realizing how little time remained before Logan consumed more than breast milk. I sat up and held the baby out to her. She quickly settled him on her chest and rubbed his back, even though he hadn’t stirred at all.
“Don’t worry, Princess, I’ll knock you up anytime you’re ready for another,” Aiden said, kissing the top of Lauren’s head.
“One life event at a time,” she said. “Let’s get married first.”
“How are the wedding plans coming?” I asked, my chest feeling heavier without Logan’s weight than it had while I held him.
“We gave up on keeping it small,” Aiden said, smiling at Lauen and his son. “But we’re still keeping it casual.”
“Casual like everyone wears jeans or casual like everyone brings a dish?” Maddie asked.
“Casual like Cammie’s singing a couple songs, and we put together a playlist for the rest of the reception instead of hiring a DJ,” Aiden said.
“Rowan and Poppy are making the wedding cake, but the rest of the food will be catered,” Lauren added.
We talked a while about the wedding before Logan woke and the happy couple went inside together so Lauren could feed him in relative privacy.
“I’m so excited for them,” Maddie said.
“Yeah, me too,” I said, staring out toward the mountains surrounding Peace Falls.
My chest ached with a sudden punch of sadness.
I might never be the main character in a story like theirs.
As much as I longed for a family of my own, I wouldn’t build it with just anyone.
I wanted what my parents had. What Aiden and Lauren had found.
A person who supported my strengths and didn’t shy away from my flaws.
Someone who added to the beautiful chaos of my life with the people I already called mine instead of stealing time away from them.
“Where’d you go?” Maddie asked, startling me from my thoughts.
“Just thinking about Theo’s case,” I lied. I knew my sister’s opinion on marriage and happily ever after all too well. “We have a March 5th court date.”
“Wow,” Maddie said. “Why didn’t you mention it?”
“Theo doesn’t want Aiden to know unless it goes well,” I said, lowering my voice. “He wants to keep the focus on Lauren and Aiden’s wedding. I doubt Cal would know about it if he wasn’t married to Poppy’s sister.”
“How do you think it’ll go?” she asked, picking at the nail on her thumb.
Few things rattled Maddie these days, but any mention of Theo’s case seemed to bring her back to the nervous girl she’d been during his first trial.
I also knew she’d kill me if I didn’t keep her up to date on what was happening.
“I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I think we have a decent chance,” I said. “Judge Lenbock gave Theo the shortest sentence he could, and it troubled him back then.”
Maddie nodded. “The law’s the law.”
“For now,” I said, blowing out a breath. “I think I’ll head home and get some work done. On top of all my cases, I volunteered to help with the Springboard event.”
“I’d say you’re working too hard, but I’m not in a position to call anyone out for working too much.”
A group of kids ran through the yard, the older ones holding wands over their heads to make bubbles for the younger kids to pop.
My mom’s distinct laugh floated from the other side of the O’Malley’s garage where the dads had set up the smoker.
I lived for time with my family. So much of my life was defined by the structure and expectations of my jobs.
Afternoons like this felt like either a dip in a cool pond or a run through rapids.
Sometimes peaceful, sometimes chaotic, always invigorating. “I’ll stay a little longer.”
“Good choice,” Maddie said, plopping into the seat Aiden and Lauren had left. “Mrs. O’Malley has cookies in the oven, and I need you to sneak some into that massive purse of yours once they’re done.”