Chapter 16
Gabe
I walked into my penthouse and kicked off my shoes, sending them flying down the entryway.
I didn’t care; I walked past them and into the living room and my liquor cabinet.
I poured myself a hefty amount of Scotch and took a long drink.
It didn’t calm me down so I poured another one.
I was finishing it when I heard the door open and close.
My ears perked as I listened to who had come inside. I knew it was Elle but had she brought her little friend with her? The one that she had been all but making out with in front of my complex? The one that she looked very cozy next to? The one that had made my blood boil at seeing him holding her?
When I didn’t hear any voices, I assumed Elle was alone. Some of the tension left me. I don’t know what possessed me to talk to her and her friend that way. It had just come out.
I had spent all week doing everything I could to forget about her.
I had stayed away from my own home. I had gone on dates with other women, all that had ended in disaster.
I had thrown myself into my work, even went back to the gym.
All in the hopes of getting Elle from running around in my mind.
None of it had helped. Which had left me annoyed and frustrated, not only with myself but the world in general.
It seemed cruel that I would meet Elle, that I would get to know her, that I would have her in my bed once, and then never be able to again.
It had only added to my annoyance to see her standing outside my apartment building with some guy. Had she done it on purpose? Was she trying to make me jealous? Did she have any clue what she had done to me? Did she even care?
She had looked so smug, so sure of herself when she had seen me standing behind her. There had been the briefest looks of worry that crossed her face but it had quickly disappeared. It had taken everything in me not to punch the guy in his face.
I wanted to ask him if he knew how great Elle was?
Did he know how funny she was? How intelligent?
Did he know what a wonderful kisser she was?
How amazing she felt when she was underneath you?
Did he know how great it felt to fall asleep with her in your arms?
I couldn’t ask those questions. It wasn’t my right to know that and I worried I would strangle him if I found out he did.
Turning, I poured myself another drink and heard Elle come into the living room.
I didn’t look at her as I finished my drink.
I could sense her standing there, waiting for me to turn around.
I could almost feel her anger. I didn’t care.
I was going to take my time; I was going to do what I wanted to do. She certainly had done the same.
Slowly, I turned to look at her. She was standing at the edge of the living room. Her hands on her hips, her hair cascading down her back, her eyes sharp and full of deviance. I leaned back on the liquor cabinet and stared at her.
I hoped I gave off a look of indifference. I didn’t want her to know how seeing her, even from across the room, made my heart race. I didn’t want her to know how my body contracted at seeing her. Even in her jeans and T-shirt, she was still the sexiest woman I had ever seen.
“Elle,” I sighed.
She must have been waiting for me to speak because as soon as I did, she walked towards me, her finger pointed at me accusatory.
“What the hell was that? What were you doing?” She asked.
“You mean when I asked you not to fuck some random dude on the wall of my apartment complex?” I longed for another drink, something to have in my hands, because what I wanted to do was pull her into my arms. Instead, I tightened my fingers around the edge of the cabinet.
“That wasn’t what we were doing and you know it.”
“Do I?”
“Seriously? We were hugging. Nothing more,” Elle said and ran a hand through her hair.
It reminded me of when I had tugged on her hair and kissed her senseless. It also reminded me of how the guy had been holding her and my anger grew.
“Nothing more? Did you tell your lover that? He certainly looked like he wanted to.”
“You’re disgusting,” she spat at me.
“Disgusting? I wasn’t the one who was being manhandled ten feet from the entrance of my place. What was that, Elle?”
“It was me sharing a hug with a friend, with a guy I go to school with. Nothing more. Why do you care anyway? It isn’t like you care what I do.”
“I don’t? How can you say that?” I asked, my voice hoarse with anger.
“Gee, I don’t know. You practically kicked me out of your bedroom the other day. I haven’t seen you all week. And when I see you, you yell at me? Gee, I wonder why I would think I don’t matter to you.”
“You matter to me, Elle. You are my daughter’s best friend. I gave you a place to stay. I want you to succeed. I have done everything I can to make sure you feel happy and safe here.”
“Everything except be around,” Elle said.
I didn’t answer her but turned around and poured another glass of Scotch. I took a long drink and didn’t put the glass down. I looked up at the ceiling and said, “It was for the best, all things considered.”
“Why?” Elle asked.
I turned around to see her standing right next to me. I hadn’t heard her move and my body responded to having her so close. My eyes locked on hers and I held them as I down the Scotch.
“You know why,” I whispered.
“Tell me,” she said. Her voice was soft, but as her eyes held mine and she looked at me with such longing, such trust, I knew what she wanted me to say.
“Elle,” I sighed.
“Tell me,” she said.
I couldn’t tell if it was a demand or a plea, it came out a little of both.
“It was too hard to be around you and not be with you,” I admitted.
“Why?” She asked again.
“You know why,” I said.
“Tell me.” That time it came out as a demand.
“Do you want to know? Do you really want to know? Fine, I’ll tell you.
I can’t stop thinking about you. I can hardly sleep in my own bed because it reminds me of you.
I see you on the edge of my bed as I ate you out.
I think about how your eyes and body looked as I fucked you.
Even the fucking kitchen makes me think of you.
I remember watching you cook and how unbelievably sexy you were, and how much I wanted you even then.
I don’t want to go into the living room because I want to be there with you.
Don’t you see? You’ve ruined this penthouse for me.
It used to be my sanctuary. But now, it only reminds me of you.
Of what we had, and what I can never have again.
“So, excuse me if it’s a little hard for me to see you around someone. Seeing them holding you as I want to hold you. Seeing you smile at them as I want you to smile at me. Letting them look at you, the way I want to look at you. If you must, all that I ask is you do it somewhere fucking else.”
“Gabe,” Elle said and put her hand on my chest
“Don’t,” I said and looked away from her.
I wanted to push her hand away. I wanted to tell her I didn’t want her pity.
I hadn’t wanted to say as much but it just came out.
I had been holding my feelings, my needs for the last week.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I wouldn’t. She needed to understand what she had done to me.
Only then could I move past her. If that was ever going to be possible.
“Gabe,” she said again. “I feel the same way.”
Her words slayed me. It was what I wanted her to say, yet it was the last thing I expected. But even as I heard the words, as they registered, I knew it didn’t matter.
“You don’t mean that,” I said. It came out as a plea. It would be easier to think that she was joking with me. I didn’t know what I was going to do if she truly meant it.
“Yes. Yes. I do. I hated being here this week and not seeing you. I kept hoping I would and it sucked, like really sucked when you weren’t around. I thought you were staying away because you didn’t care about me. I thought what we had, what we did, didn’t mean anything to you.”
I could see the unshed tears in her eyes and it tore at my heart. I put my hands on her hips and squeezed them as I said, “Nothing could be further from the truth. But it doesn’t matter.”
Elle searched my eyes and then slowly reached her hands to my face and cupped it. “No. It’s all that matters,” she said and brought her mouth down to mine.