CHAPTER FOURTEEN
STELLA
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“Are you okay? You look pale. We could’ve rescheduled, honey,” Charlotte says, while I stare mindlessly at the menu.
I can’t think.
I can’t eat.
I can barely drink.
Nausea follows me around all day, and I haven’t written a single word. I don’t care. Who knows if I’ll even have a career once the wedding is over.
The only thing that stops me freaking out is being in Declan’s arms. My God, he is the most amazing lover. He seems to know just the right speed, just the right pressure, and most definitely the right spots to make me purr.
“That’s a girl, press back hard into me. Oh, fuck, Stella,” Declan moaned into my hair as I rode him reverse cowboy last night.
“I’m not going to last,” I cried, gripping his thighs.
“Then cover my cock with your sweet juices. Come, sweetheart. Throttle my cock.”
I’d exploded.
I’ve never been with a man who talked so dirty, but it makes everything so much more heightened. He can lift me like I’m a bag of rice, flip me around and then cover me with his enormous body and sexy grin.
He makes me forget.
He makes me laugh.
He makes me feel like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.
Not just that, but being with Declan feels safe, solid, and grounded. I woke up this morning realizing I’ve never had that before. Even as a kid, there was an underlying sense of not being completely safe.
He has questions and nudges me each day but never pushes. I see the frustration in his eyes and wish I could throw my arm around his neck and ask him to take me away from everything.
In two more days, I may never see him again.
Go enjoy your boyfriend.
“I’m just tired. Lots of...wedding plans.” I ease into the conversation.
“Oh. I hate that I’m not your bridesmaid. Won’t your parents reconsider? There’s one thing forcing you to marry someone, another to not let you have the wedding of your dreams.”
More like wedding of my nightmares.
“It’s going to be quick. We can make yours special and both enjoy it.”
“Stella, that’s not how these things work!”
“Have you decided to move in with Dave?” I promptly change the subject.
“Ah, well, he’s unsure.”
He’s a dick.
Then again, I can’t judge. I’m marrying someone nicknamed The Blade who will probably kill me in my sleep.
Oh God.
I glance at Declan, seated a few tables away, and his brow twitches. I quickly glance away. He’s very protective and I don’t want him to interrupt my last catch up with Charlotte before I am married.
Tears threaten as I draw a breath and search for something to say before I tell her everything and how scared I am. “Well, there’s no rush.”
“Stella.”
I lift my eyes.
“Tell me what’s wrong?”
I break. “I don’t want to marry him, Char. I’m so scared.”
Even though I know this is dangerous ground, I need to talk to someone. I have to just have a few minutes telling someone I trust, even if I can’t tell her everything.
Her menu clangs on the silver cutlery. “Then don’t. Oh, my god. Come here.”
She rounds the table and pulls me into her arms. Over her shoulder I see Declan begin to stand, his brows bunched, but I glare at him.
“Do you want to stay with me? Hide out at my place. I can get Dad to ring your father. I don’t know what it would do, but he’s a judge so it might...is he forcing you?”
No.
Because he’s not.
He’s blackmailed me instead. It’s either marry Tony, or he kills me.
“No, he’s not. I just needed to tell someone how I felt. This is normal...for arranged marriages. I’ve tried to put on a smile,” I lie, hating myself for it. “Thank you for the hug.”
She doesn’t look convinced.
Returning to her seat, Charlotte watches me.
Not knowing what will happen after I’m married is worse. I don’t know if Tony will be controlling and stop me seeing my best friend. As she said, her parents are judges. I doubt The Blade would be happy about that. I’m almost certain he’ll force me to cancel my private security contract.
Declan.
I don’t know if I can have him around me in that house.
Seeing me married to Tony. It would be torture.
Not being able to kiss him as I can now in private.
Not being able to make love. Or perhaps we could, and it would be this secret forbidden romance between us that no one needed to know until I was free.
He’d keep me safe...Declan would never be able to stand back and watch you with Tony.
I know.
One thing’s for sure: I’ll need a lifeline, and it may be that it’s my mother. Which...God.
“You shouldn’t have to put on a smile.” Charlotte frowns, looking heartbroken for me. “You look like you’re about to attend your funeral, not your wedding.”
That’s fairly accurate.
“Nerves.” I smile, and it falters. “It will be fine.”
“Stella, what is going on?!”
I look over at Declan, who sips a glass of water as his gray eyes bore deep into my soul.
“I want to be there. Just tell this man how you feel. God, you haven’t even told me his name.”
Shit.
No, I don’t want her anywhere near him. It’s far too dangerous, and the last thing I need is for him to know he can threaten me with someone else I love.
“No,” I snap. “No, absolutely not. I’m just emotional. Wedding jitters and hormones.”
“Jitters? When is it?”
“Ah, Thursday.” I feel terrible lying, telling my best friend she can’t be at my wedding.
“THURSDAY!?” she yells, slamming down her menu. “Something isn’t right.”
I push away from the table, realizing I should never have come. That if she talks to her parents, and this gets out of hand, someone could get hurt.
“I can’t. Sorry, Char. I love you. You are my best friend, but you need to drop this.” I stand, and Declan is beside me in a flash.
Charlotte's mouth falls open. “I’m going to call the police. Something is—”
As she reaches for her phone, Declan grabs her hand, and we all freeze. “Do not make that call, Ms. Kensington. I am a Navy SEAL, and I need you to trust that I have Stella’s best interests at stake.”
What does he mean by that?
Her face pales as she swallows nervously, eyes darting between us; then she nods and whispers, “Please help her.”
“I promise,” he replies roughly, then leads me out of the restaurant and into the back of my car.
I burst into tears and slam my fist into his chest. “You shouldn’t have said that. You can’t promise her that.”
Declan takes my wrist and cups my face with his other hand. “I can and I fucking have.”
“What if she calls the police? I might have put her in danger.” Tears fall down my cheeks.
He doesn’t know why, but part of me no longer cares. If Charlotte gets involved in this and is hurt, I will kill Tony and my father myself.
“We have partnered with Barrett Security. There’s a guy in the restaurant watching her. He’ll shadow her for the next few weeks,” Declan says, referring to the New York-based private security firm I was originally going to employ.
“Oh. Why did you do that?”
“Because.” He tugs me against his chest and wraps his arms around me as the vehicle starts moving. “I know what I’m doing. You need to start trusting me.”
I’ve never felt so hopeless in my life, but I do trust Declan.
With my life and my best friend’s life.
I let myself sink into the strength of his body and close my eyes. If I could stay here forever, I would be happy. In his arms, with his protection.
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WHEN WE ARRIVE back at my building, I shake my head. I don’t want to go back to my penthouse where the box is.
The box.
The box which contains a designer wedding dress and the vomit-inducing lingerie Tony expects me to wear. Crotchless panties sat on top as if containing a message with all his expectations.
It has been a long time since I’ve fucked a woman your age. I am going to enjoy it.
As the wedding grows closer, shameful thoughts have entered my head. How horrific would it be to live with the death of my father on my conscience? Would it really be my fault if he were killed?
Murdered.
Could I let Tony fuck me for the next few years, then divorce him and carry on with my life?
Would Declan wait for me?
Would he hate me?
Could I tell him and risk my family's lives without the NDA to protect me? Which situation would destroy me the least?
“Can we go to your apartment?” I lift my face finally.
“Of course.” Declan climbs out and reaches for me, and we head directly to his apartment.
When the door closes behind us, he brushes his hand over my hair and lowers his face to mine. Our mouths find one another so naturally now, and his tongue glides inside, demanding that mine react.
My body presses into him, savoring his strength and warmth as our kiss deepens.
I’ve never felt this way about a man, and it’s so difficult to know if it's fear, my situation or I actually feel more than just sexual desire.
It’s the latter.
Sex with Declan is otherworldly. He takes me to levels of passion and pleasure I never knew was possible.
“What do you need?”
“You,” I reply.
“You have me.” He cups the back of my hand, his gaze powerful as it locks with mine. “Choose me, and this is all over.”
My eyes drop.
I hear his sigh, as I do every time he’s asked me not to marry Tony, but it doesn’t stop him. Declan takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom.
His hands slide under my ass, and he picks me up and lays me down on the bed, his body following. “Focus on us. On this. On how we feel together.”
My eyes flicker closed as his finger glides across my decolletage and opens my top. The buttons popping free. Cool air brushes over my skin, and I gasp when his mouth covers my nipple through my bra.
Oh, I’m focused.
I arch a little and let out a moan.
Declan tugs up the fabric of my skirt and tugs my panties down like a professional, my ass lifting off the bed to assist. Because I’m as eager as he is.
When I feel his body moving away, I hear his zipper and open my eyes. I never want to miss seeing an inch of him. He’s simply a work of art with his olive skin, scattering of tattoos and ropes of muscle.
Locking onto his hard, thick cock with my gaze as he drops his pants and tears off shirt, I lick my lips.
“We’re doing this slowly,” he rasps.