3 - THE TYGER
Derek
I was in her doorway at five-forty, like always.
She sleeps hard, flat on her back with both arms over her head like she's surrendering to something.
Or not. Kid never surrendered to anything in her life.
I stood there and counted. Eighteen in a minute.
Bonds said I couldn't tell anything from it.
I count anyway. I've counted her breathing in hotel rooms, in the back of the car, once in a tent.
Sometimes I put my hand flat on her chest.
Eighteen. Fine.
I went down and started the coffee and my phone was already going on the counter.
"You know what time it is here?" I said. Like he didn't know I'd be awake.
"I do, and I don't care, because I have been awake for twenty-six hours and I have entered a state of grace.
" Aaron. Papers moving. "It cleared, Derek.
Full amount. Program office signed Tuesday, money moved at four this morning, and I found out from a woman named Dana in contracting who I now love like a sister. "
"Full amount." Almost shocking for this administration.
"Full. I made her say it twice. Then I said it back to her and she said, 'sir, yes, sir' and I said, ‘Dana, you don't know what you've done for me today.'" He laughed at himself. "How's my girl?"
"Eighteen."
"Then it's a good morning." He didn't miss a beat. "Tell her Uncle Aaron's coming in three days and he's bringing the bad kind of candy."
"She'll hold you to it."
"She'd better." Then his voice came down about a degree.
"Two things and you're going to hate the second one, so I'm doing the first one fast. Kessler wants the debrief moved to Thursday and I already told him no.
He asked what Thursday was and I said Thursday is unavailable.
Genuinely one of the great minutes of my life. "
"What's the bad thing?"
A chair creaked. "Halvorsen called my cell."
I set the pot down.
"Your cell. Mine's the one listed," I said.
"He didn't call it."
"Who gave him yours?"
"I've been on that for nine hours and I've got nothing, which you know I don’t enjoy saying." No laugh under it now. "He's standing a mission up for October. He wants us both.”
"No."
"You don't want to hear what it is?"
"No. I have a tattoo because of that fucker." I looked down at the dates on my forearm.
"Derek—"
"Say no. Don't be nice about it. Then find out how he got your number and tell me, and don't do anything else."
Four seconds of Aaron not talking, which for him is an event.
"You can't put Tiny all on Halvorsen," he said.
"I'm not doing this, Aaron. You have the answer."
Too hard. I looked at the daycare form on the counter. Farm trip. Emergency contacts, plural, and the little ‘s’ sitting there at the end of the word. Olive branch. "Hey, Aaron, I'm putting you as the second contact for Jess at daycare. You need more responsibilities."
Silence for a second.
"No, I fucking don't. But that's one I actually want. Use the joint number with Josie."
"Good idea. Now that there's a woman in the loop, she's safe."
He laughed. "Jesus, you are never going to let me off the hook for that one, are you?"
"Brother, I don't have any fucking idea what you're talking about, and I gotta go. Call me after nine," I said, and hung up on his reply. I win. Not easy with Aaron.
I made breakfast, first for me, then an hour later for the tiger. She loved meat, of course. Sausage and eggs, and a V8. Only kid in the world who liked V8.
As soon as the aroma hit her I could hear her feet hit the floor.
She came down two minutes later. "Uppie," she announced. Up she went and I got my kiss on the cheek, given seriously. Then the squirm like I was kidnapping her. "I'm hungry!" She devoured her food and got her red mustache. Like a tiger after a kill, I'd once told her. That stuck.
Then she got her purple rubber boots. It hadn't rained in nine days.
"These ones."
"Those are rain boots, Jess."
"They're walking boots."
I could probably win this, but it'd be a Pyrrhic victory. Tactical retreat. "You're right, get them on, kid."
She sat down on the hall floor to do it, both hands, jaw set, tongue out one side. Nothing better in life than watching her struggle and succeed. Or watching her do anything. She got them on the wrong feet and stood up. She looked down and stamped once on the tile like the floor had cheated her.
"Left one's on the right," I said, expressionless. Poking the bear.
She glared at me. "That's how I want them."
Then my face cracked a smile. Dangerous. She only sniffed at me, and I almost laughed. Best part of my day, losing to my girl.
She made it up two stairs going back for her jacket before she stopped and put a hand on the railing.
I was there instantly, crouched, one hand on her back, the other finding her wrist without looking like that's what I was doing.
"Little rest," I said.
"I'm fine."
"I know. Little rest anyway." Her heart was going fast because she'd run up two stairs at seven in the morning. I counted twenty seconds and tripled it. Her lips were good. Her nails were good. She was already impatient with me, which is the single best sign there is.
"I’m going now!"
"Yeah."
She went. I wanted to follow her, but that's not useful.
She came back with the jacket on backwards, arms through the sleeves, zipper up her spine, delighted. I bit my cheek to control the urge to fix it. Pretty sure she did this on purpose.
"Daddy. Can worms hear?"
"I don't know." How did I not anticipate this exact question?
"You know lots though."
"Not worms."
"Ask Dr. Lacey."
"Dr. Lacey does hearts."
"She would know! She knows everything!" Debate over.
"Okay, killer. When we see her this afternoon, I'll ask."
Two-fifteen appointment. Twenty-two minutes to the hospital. There's a humming pressure that starts a day before and doesn't stop until Bonds says the good number. Then it's like morphine. I should be nicer to her.
Nah.
I picked Jess up, backwards jacket, wrong boots, and got my keys off the hook.
I'll ask about the worms. Jessica will get an answer about worms from her favorite doc.