Chapter 4
IKE
There’s something so wrong with me. I have no idea where to begin to investigate it. But this can’t be right. A man like me, who spent his life being rejected, should have learned to stay in the background by now.
I never hoped for love. Then why am I obsessed with her?
Caroline is beautiful, intelligent, and observant.
She’s everything I admire in a person, with her quick mind and the way she’s always paying attention to everything that happens around her.
As her co-workers play on their phones and distract themselves with three things at the same time, she’s people-watching.
She’s paying fierce attention to what people tell her, and she always knows what to say.
Caroline has deep knowledge in her area and a good eye for color.
She also seems to understand the client better than anyone else in this place.
I’m ready to take her in for a full-time position, but then I read her comics and I just... Feel like she’s supposed to do more.
Shaking my head, I force myself to go back to work.
Night has fallen, turning everything dark in the office, but the light of the computer screen is my sole focus.
It’s so bright I see nothing else around me.
Nothing but the emails demanding my attention and the sheets I should have filled earlier today, if I wasn’t obsessing about Caroline.
She’s too young, man. Get a grip. And she’s too pretty to want a guy like you.
It was never easy with girls, not when I look like an oak tree with legs.
They want tall guys, but not too tall. Strong guys, but not the real ones.
They want the fakes, the posers, the ones who look like they’re strong because they spend their lives in gyms. No, the guys like me, big and barreled-chested, the guys who are strong for real, they don’t get much attention.
I never got any, and though it hurt when I was young, I learned to live with it.
I learned to put my mind to work and to explore the possibilities of my intelligence.
And I got my scholarship and went through designer school when my parents curled their noses and told me I would starve.
I learned the management and the administrative part.
God, I lost count of how many finance courses I’ve been through.
All so I could have this company. All so I could have a legacy.
Since I know I won’t be creating a family in this lifetime.
My thoughts take me away from the sheets, and I force myself to focus again.
Five minutes into the work, and I hear a tap-tap I hadn’t noticed before.
It’s distant, muffled through the glass walls of my office.
Raising my head, I narrow my eyes to see through the light of my screen. Is someone still here?
The tap-tap does come from a computer. There’s another light out there, someone else spending too long at work. I don’t like making my employees work overtime. I would much prefer they went home, relaxed for the night, then came back full of ideas. This is a creative work, after all.
Who is still here?
I get to my feet, my spine popping when I stretch my back. Should have done that earlier. I leave my office for the main room, searching the darkness for the person behind the computer.
Seeing Caroline makes my heart skip a beat, like I was a teenager. Like I was fourteen, about to go ask my first crush out. This is stupid. She is too young, Jackson. Quit it.
She doesn’t raise her eyes when I approach. Instead, her feet and her head bob to the rhythm of whatever she’s listening to. Both ears plugged with buds, she keeps clicking and adjusting and undoing her adjustments. I crane my neck, looking at what she’s working on.
It’s one of her comics. There’s a main character, a curvy girl with hair just like Caroline’s, and she’s in all of these comics.
In this one, she’s... Plugging herself into a charger?
Recharging? I narrow my eyes and lean in.
The comic is not done yet, and she’s going through the lines over and over to make sure they’re just right.
And I must lean in too far because she jerks in surprise and gasps.
“Mr. Jackson.” She’s out of breath as she shoots to her feet, moving her body to block the computer screen. “I’m so sorry; I didn’t see you there.”
“It’s alright; I should have announced myself.”
“Are you leaving?” She reaches out for her purse. “I’ll leave, too.”
“Caroline.” She doesn’t stop, so I reach out and grip her wrist. Something happens when I touch her skin, electricity shooting up my arms. Not the kind of electricity that would make me jerk away, but something stronger.
Something that sticks my hand to her skin, that won’t let me go. “Wait. Just... wait.”
She stops, meeting my eyes. The light of the computer hits her pretty face, creating angles with the shadows.
God, she’s so beautiful. I should let go of her arm, should step away, but I just...
I just can’t. Her chest heaves with quick breaths, and she takes one step closer.
Her wide eyes fasten on my face. Pretty pouty lips drop half-open.
Shit. Shit, I shouldn’t be staring at her lips like this. My entire body wants her so badly it’s like everything else disappears. Just the mere action of touching her makes me hard, but watching her makes me hard too, so that has become quite common in the past days.
“What are you doing here?” I ask in my best empty voice, struggling to avoid showing any emotions.
She swallows, and I can only picture her lips around my cock, sucking, swallowing my load as I burst it past her lips...
Shit. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Jackson,” she repeats.
“I had no classes today, and my neighbors are having a weekend-long party... I mean, it’s supposed to be weekend-long, but it starts at around three in the afternoon on Friday, so...
” She chews on her bottom lip for a moment, but her eyes don’t leave mine, burning in the computer's light. “I thought I could stay here and work on my side project when I’m off the clock.”
My hand moves on its own. It grabs a strand of her hair, and I move my fingers to feel how soft it is against my digits. She watches me, then her pink tongue comes out to lick at the corner of her mouth. My cock twitches. Something grows between us, a sort of tension that wasn’t there a moment ago.
Caroline moves closer yet again. She swallows once more. My mind goes straight to the gutter. Does she know what she’s doing to me?
“Mr. Jackson,” she starts, tilting her head back, her eyes staring straight into my soul, “are you going to punish me?”
Holy shit. That’s what breaks me.
Before I know it, I grip her hips and put her up on her desk. Her hand lands on the computer, then she grips my arm. Nails dig into the muscle, and she tries to part her legs, but the tight pencil skirt gets in her way. I grip the hem and shove it up, parting her legs so I can walk between them.
Shit, she’s so small. She’s tiny next to my body, and yet, when my eyes meet hers, there’s a fire in her pupils and her lips are half-opened, and I can’t spend another second away from her. Roping my fingers through her hair, I claim her mouth with mine.
The sweetness of her explodes on my taste buds.
I had no idea someone could taste this good.
She’s strawberries and champagne, and I drink from her, sweeping my tongue over hers, sliding our lips against one another.
Caroline releases a whimper against the kiss, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
All I care about is kissing her until she can’t think of anything else.
My hands down her shoulders, I clasp them around her hips, bringing her closer.
Even on top of the desk, the height distance is obvious, and my cock twitches against her stomach.
I try to step away, but she tightens her hold on my arms and kisses me back, innocent, shy swipes of her tongue over mine, explorative, tentative.
And the slight tremble in her fingers makes me wonder...
Is she doing this because she wants to? Or is she feeling forced?
I am her boss, and she might be afraid of being fired if she doesn’t kiss me back.
An absurd, irrational fear washes over me.
I don’t want her to feel forced. God, this is the last thing I want to do to her.
Everything I ever do to her body has to be consensual. I want her to want me. God, I need her to want me.
I pull back, breaking the kiss. With her taste on my tongue, it’s almost impossible to keep my distance, but I do. Caroline fights for air, gaping up at me. I wait for a smile, a sign of any sort that she did this because she wanted to, but she just stares in confusion.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this,” I quickly say, both stepping and looking away.
With her skirt hiked up so high, I’m sure I can glimpse her panties and will never stop thinking about it.
Shit, I’m already wondering what sort of panties she wears.
Caroline is practical, so I would bet on something made of cotton, simple, day-to-day panties.
She gets down from the table and adjusts her skirt. “No, I?—”
I motion for the computer. “You were working on your comics. Yes. There’s no problem. You can stay as long as you like. The comics are good,” I say, and she straightens her spine, pulling her shoulders back. “They’re really good. You should do something about them.”
And I give her my back and stride into my office.
I sit behind my desk and put my head in my hands, breathing in and out for a long time.
Staring at my computer screen, I pretend to work on my sheets when I hear Caroline leaving the place, moments later.
She doesn’t say goodbye, and I half-expect her to not show up in the morning.
That would break me, but it might be the right choice. I don’t think I can stay away from her. She’s too much, too bright, too beautiful. And yet, I’m not what she deserves.
Shit. I’m head over heels for this woman, and I have no idea what to do.