Chapter 5
LAURA
Idid something very, very wrong. What was I thinking? This crush was supposed to be only in my head. Only one way. And yet, my stomach twisted and turned when Asher kissed me. When he stole my breath away. When it became clear, undeniably clear, he wanted me too.
Every nerve ending of mine caught on fire. His touch is everything I’ve ever needed. But I can’t have him, and I knew that from the start.
Asher and I are too different. He’s older, someone with his life put together. He’s handsome, strong, burly... And I’m the short, half-Asian girl with too many curves. My colleagues never thought me pretty. I don’t know what has gotten into Asher, but I know it won’t last long.
If I pushed through and got together with him, I’d be destroying my relationship with my father.
He won’t pay for my loans, and he’ll make it extremely hard to get another job in town.
Then what? I’d have to depend on Asher. He wouldn’t want that, not so soon.
Not when we know each other so little. And if we broke up?
How would I go back to my father? How could I ever face him again?
No. I shake my head fiercely at the computer screen.
This is another day, even as the memory of Asher’s lips still sears at me.
I try to focus on the work, but it’s impossible.
My mind is away, drifting back to yesterday evening.
To his hands on me, to how every swipe of his tongue marked me. Claimed a new piece of me.
It was everything I’ve ever needed. A pair of fists punching through the glass case I live in. Asher shook me awake, and he barely touched me.
God, what would happen if we had time together? What would he do to me?
I clamp my thighs together, closing my eyes and shuddering. This shouldn’t happen. He’s my father’s friend, my father’s age. It’s so wrong, so...
The sound of a slam on the desk makes me jerk back to reality. Dad stands in front of me, scowling. His furious gaze drills holes into me, and heat spreads over my cheeks as I wonder if he just read my mind.
“What are you doing?” he roars in question.
“I—I was just—” What? What am I going to answer? That I was daydreaming about a much older man when I should be working?
Dad shoves his hand closer, gripping my hair and pushing it away. He makes to grab something near my neck, then stops. His scowl gives way to a surprised look. “Where are they?” He pushes away the hair on my right.
“What?”
“Earphones.”
Oh. He thought I was listening to music. Daydreaming because I was listening to music. Honestly, he has a motive to believe that. Most of my work is manual, automatic. Music in the background would only inspire me and move me to work better. My father won’t allow it, though.
“I’m not listening to anything,” I tell him. “Promise,” I add, even if there’s no need to. He can see it.
Dad straightens his spine, giving me an unamused glance. “What’s wrong with you today?”
Oh, nothing, I just want to hump your friend until this knot inside me comes undone. “A headache. That’s all.”
He curls his nose in distaste, then shoots a look at the watch on his wrist. “It’s almost four. Is your work at least done?”
Pulling my shoulders back, I nod. “Yes. The preliminary for Asher’s finances is done. He just needs to take a look, and then I can start on?—”
“Damn it, girl,” he roars. “Since when is this done?”
“Mm. A couple of hours, I guess?”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have called him. I could have taken it to him.” He releases a sigh, one of those that tells me he’s disappointed. Again.
“It’s not due for another week, Dad...”
“So what, Laura? This is how you show the clients how good you are.” He clicks his tongue. “Now it’s too late. I have a meeting tonight. I can’t take it to him.”
My fingers curl into fists, then realization shoots into me. “I can take it,” I blurt out, loudly, maybe too loud. My cheeks turn pink, and I raise my hands to intertwine my fingers in front of my face and hide them. God, I can only hope Dad won’t notice it.
He narrows his eyes for a moment, but then nods. “Very well. Call him first.” And he turns his back and leaves.
“Sure, Dad,” I tell the air, even if Dad can’t hear me anymore.
My heart pitter-patters inside my chest. Why did I say that? It escaped me out of nowhere. I can’t take it to him. What will I do when I see him? What will he think? I’m the one who pushed him away.
Swallowing the knot in my throat, I pick my phone up and type a quick message to Asher. Asking if he’s free to see me so I can give him the documents. Putting the phone down, I watch the screen, leaving the decision to Fate.
Something twists in my gut. Something that tells me I shouldn’t let this chance go. That maybe Asher is my one shot at true happiness, and I’m pushing him away, pushing happiness away, because of my father. Because I want to make him proud, but that might never happen.
The phone buzzes with a new message. I brace myself, clenching my jaw shut and gripping the edges of my desk.
I am on my shift at the fire station. You can come around if there’s a rush, but I can pick it up tomorrow if you prefer.
Taking a deep breath, I tell him I’m going now. My feet take me out of the building, my heart punching my ribcage as I check the address on Maps. And with every step, I let go of the doubts.
If Asher still wants me today, I won’t hold back. I want him too much to pretend any longer.