Chapter 5
LYRA
After hopping off the train, I climb the steps and make my way home in a daze.
Double shifts aren’t easy on a basis, and I’ve had more than my share for this month.
The life of being a nurse. You think you can’t take another long shift, but then you see a patient needing you and another overworked person trying their best, and you can’t just go home.
I close the door behind me and kick off my shoes.
The silence in my apartment presses against my ears, a living thing reminding me I’m alone.
And because I’m such a glutton for punishment, I let myself imagine Maverick sitting on the couch, watching TV.
Or maybe he’s in the kitchen, throwing dinner together.
He’d stop, sweep me off my feet. He would take me to bed, kiss me until the exhaustion went away, and then we’d smell the food burning, and we’d laugh it off and order takeout.
People would call me pathetic for having all the fantasies down to a pat. They’d call me silly when they learned Maverick doesn’t want to stay. He’s afraid of hurting me. Afraid the dangers of his life might spill onto me.
But would he give his violent life up for me? Would it be selfish for me to ask?
I shake my head. This is nonsense. It’s not about asking him anything. He might be attracted to me, but that’s it. He’s not looking for anything else. He doesn’t want to rethink his life because of me or anything.
Or does he?
I put my things away, then wash my hands. And I know I shouldn’t, but the questions keep hammering in the back of my head.
What if he wants me back? What if he truly wants me back? I could think of something. God, this is crazy, but he could crash on my couch while we think it through. He’d drop his current job; I’d help him find something less lethal.
We could run away. I’d drop the job at the hospital and find something else. Move to a smaller town, one where no one knew our faces.
He’s a man I barely know, yes, but when I think of him, it makes my heart beat faster, and butterflies take flight inside me when I never believed those things.
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense.
Maverick is the man for me, and I need to show him exactly that.
I need to tell him I’m willing to do more; I’m willing to sacrifice for him.
Hell, I went so out of my comfort zone just giving him my number.
He needs to know. He needs to know I’m falling in love.
I gape at myself in the mirror over my sink. Wait. I barely know him. We kissed once. That’s too fast. He’d run in the opposite direction if I told him that.
Okay, then no saying the L-word. Now, how am I going to find him? That’s a problem. He never left me his number or address, or...
Unless...
He made it so clear he’s watching me. That he’s close, that he could hurt me if he wanted to. Maybe he’s around? Like, right now?
I walk into my living room, then stride to the one window. After struggling with the lock for a moment, I open it and pop my head out. There’s no one in the street, not that I can see, but the shadows are thick and long. With some luck...
“Maverick?” I call out, thinking I might be going crazy. I clear my throat and try again, my voice coming out stronger, clearer. “Maverick!”
My heart skips a beat when I see the shadows move. Right across my apartment, standing on the pavement, the shadows take form. He looks up at me, soundlessly, a deep, disapproving frown on his face. I can’t help but smile at him.
“Come up,” I say and leave the window before he can refuse. I don’t even go downstairs to unlock the front door. He can unlock it easily.
Minutes later, he knocks softly on my door. I yank it open and motion him in. Chill, Lyra. Don’t let him know you’re so thrilled to see him again. I don’t need him running off because he thinks I’m off my rocker.
“You alright?” he asks in that hoarse voice, his blue gaze shooting everywhere in the apartment. Is he looking for threats? Is he worried about me? My heart swells so much that I think it might escape my mouth.
“Of course,” I reply, motioning for the couch. He doesn’t take a seat, so I stand across from him, too. “There’s something I wanted to tell you.”
“Mm, go on.” And he looks back at me. The way his eyes roam my body and focus on my face makes me more certain of what I want.
“Maverick, I... I don’t mind who you are.”
He shakes his head, cutting me in. “That’s because you don’t know me. Lyra, it’s not safe.” And he makes his way to the door. “We shouldn’t be seen together at all. I came up because I thought?—”
I jump between him and the door, slamming my back on the wood. He could easily move me out of the way, but he doesn’t. “Maverick. Mave. Can I call you Mave?”
“No.”
“Okay, then, Rick. Rick, I get you were forced into this life. Somehow, someone forced you into it, and you can’t see a way out. You hurt people, even when you don’t want to. And I can tell you’re lonely. You’re as lonely as I am.”
“It’s dangerous, Lyra.” And this time, there’s a hint of defeat in his voice.
“Why? Because you don’t have money? You can stay with me.”
“No, I have money, but... I’ve made enemies. People who would love to know I have someone in my life they could hurt.”
“So we move away. We cross the country if we need it. Let’s run from these people, but let’s run together.”
Maverick’s eyes burn as he looks at me. He opens his mouth and closes it several times. He takes a step closer, and a buzz of electricity courses through my body. “Lyra. I want you. God, I’ve never wanted someone this bad in my life. But you can get hurt.”
He wants me. The way his eyes shine when he looks at me makes me hyper-aware and super sensitive, my nipples tightening against my bra. “Good thing I know first aid,” I pathetically add, and I pounce on him at the same moment he comes at me.
Maverick’s hand cradles the back of my skull, then his fingers curl around my hair, tilting my head back.
His other arm folds around my waist and our mouths clash in a mind-blowing kiss.
With every swipe of his tongue over mine, I know it.
Every kiss is going to be like this. Every kiss will taste like it’s the first time.
He marks me with his kiss and makes sure I’ll never want to kiss another mouth.
I cling to his shirt, hugging myself closer to him.
Maverick gives in to my caress, stepping back into my living room, then sitting on the couch.
I’m ready to straddle him, to ride his cock as if my life depends on it, but his kiss slows down, and his fingers uncurl from my hair.
I whimper against him, but I know he won’t take me right off the bat. He’s still cautious.
I let him take the lead, his arms folding around my hips in a possessive grip. He breaks the kiss and gapes deeply into my eyes, and there’s so much feeling in his eyes I can’t speak for some minutes.
“Who forced you?” I ask, and then I want to take it back. Pain crosses his face, and I’m afraid he’ll pull back, give up, go away.
But Maverick tightens his hold. “My father. He worked like a hitman before me, and he wanted to start some kind of family business. I’m an only child, so there was no escaping.”
Scratching his scalp, I touch the scars crisscrossing over his face, then brush my lips against his temple. “I’m so sorry. But your life isn’t over. We can work a way out of this if that’s what you want.”
He pinches my chin between two fingers. “Right now, the only thing I want is another kiss.”
And that I can give him. He holds me like I belong to him, and I adore it, so I keep giving him these kisses, hoping we never regret the day we met.