Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
SELENE
Isat on the buttery soft seat inside Bren’s car, gazing out the windshield toward the dramatic Atlantic Ocean expanding outward from Dingle Bay, and waited for him to walk around and open my door. I was eager to step foot outside, but I enjoyed allowing him to come to me.
I tracked him as he walked around the front of the car, the breeze billowing his black button-down shirt and tousling his dark hair. The look of him stoked a fire deep inside me.
Bren caught my gaze through the glass and held it, binding us together on a level I could only feel. He opened my door and extended his hand.
I leaned away from him, my gaze jumping from his long fingers to his face, as I struggled to process his actions. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
The wind carried away my breathless words as he nodded. “As certain as I am about the basement beneath the church.”
And nothing untoward had happened in the days since. This would be okay. I hoped.
My pulse thrummed in my head as I slowly slid my hand across his. He tightened his fingers around it and helped me from the car before pushing the door with his free hand.
It closed with a thud, the sound final, an end to one way of life and the start of another. The wind whipped my hair into my face as I lifted my gaze to him in wonder. “I’m nervous.”
Bren chuckled and squeezed my hand. “You’re brave enough to trap a wraith. Brave enough to lure me into an underground space so you could kiss me. And now your nerves arrive?”
I tried to find an explanation and ended up shrugging.
He raised his brows until they wrinkled his forehead. “I suspect it’s because you’re not in control. So, my question is, do you trust me?”
Bren had shone a light into a dark corner of my heart, one that I’d forgotten had existed. I hadn’t been able to rely on many people in my life, so his claim made sense.
I released a tight breath as I held his gaze. “I do trust you.”
His lips curved into a genuine smile I’d never forget. “Good. Now, do you like to be near the ocean?”
I nodded and let go of the disbelief that this was really happening. “It’s been a while since I’ve taken off my shoes and walked on a beach. But I’m going to today.”
He laughed. “The water’s cold.”
I licked the salt off my lips. “I don’t care.”
And I didn’t. It was the first time since arriving in Ireland that I felt utterly free, and I wanted to soar like the gulls crying overhead.
In the far distance, I spotted another couple walking, but otherwise we had that section of the beach to ourselves.
Bren held my hand as we headed toward the water, and I glanced down several times just to see our fingers intertwined.
Waves of happiness tangled with desire, and they sparked where we touched and traveled with lightning speed through me.
“Is it okay that we’re out in the open? We won’t create ripples, and no one who shouldn’t see us will? ”
He glanced at me with a tender look in his eyes. “Ah, A stór, I think we’re fine. You were right in selecting a place far from a portal, one that wasn’t of interest to others. That’s likely what made it okay. Not the stone over our heads.”
Bren shifted his gaze to the horizon. “Few are interested in the Veil here, and not a soul knows where we are.”
Not a soul. Only us.
We walked without speaking, our boots sinking into the soft sand until we reached firmer ground. I paused to remove my shoes as I’d said I would and then walked straight for the water. I was surprised when Bren joined me, his feet bare too.
A wave rolled in, washing over us to our ankles, and I gasped. “Oh, that’s cold. Much colder than back home.”
He laughed, his face alight with enjoyment and his posture relaxed. “Someday you’ll learn to listen to me.”
I grinned. “Maybe.” I let several seconds pass before I spoke what was in my heart. “Thank you for bringing me here. It’s another moment I’ll cherish.”
His gaze turned serious as he nodded. “For me as well.”
We stared at each other for a long moment before he took my hand again, and we continued walking in silence along the shoreline.
I found myself mesmerized by the waves as they chilled my toes, the way they rolled in and retreated, a constant exchange of energy. Forces of nature that existed in harmony. “The ocean is so peaceful.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “Because it doesn’t resist. Everything moves as it should.”
I suspected people who surrendered to natural laws had more peaceful lives too. “I wish Mystwood felt like this. I’m good with spaces, but the castle has a restlessness that I’m not sure I can tame.”
“It once was like this. Peaceful. A home with love.” Bren slowed and then stopped as he tracked a gull flying overhead, soaring out over the water. He dropped his gaze to me. “I’m sure of it.”
A heavy sigh slipped from him. “I haven’t come here in decades. Funny how it looks the same.”
I didn’t quite know what to say, so I stayed quiet.
Bren stared out over the water for a long time, and I wondered if he was contemplating life like I was.
The sun hovered low in the sky, and the temperature had already dropped. The breeze strengthened as fishing boats returned to the bay. It whipped the edges of my coat and sent my hair dancing, tangling it more than it already was.
Bren turned and gazed down at me, studying my eyes, and the pull of him hit hard.
Slowly, he drew a finger down my cheek before tucking strands of hair behind my ears. All I could do was stare at him. His beautiful face. The endless depths of his eyes. The sensuous curve of his lips.
A gust of wind hit, strong enough to make me sway. Bren reached out, grabbing my hips to steady me. But he didn’t let go.
And I didn’t want him to.
I took a step forward, and it was the only invitation he needed to pull me up against him. My breath slipped from me in a soft whoosh as my body collided with his. Caused by proximity, not force.
He was solid and warm as I slid my arms around his waist and gripped his shirt.
Bren shook his head as though what I wanted was impossible. “What are we going to do about this?”
I lifted my shoulders in a slight shrug. “What do you want to do?”
He didn’t hesitate as he lowered his mouth to mine. His lips brushed mine once. Twice. And then he pulled away.
I held my eyes closed for a few more seconds, savoring the tingle he left behind. When I opened them, he stared at me with a wondrous gaze.
I smiled, certain my expression was the same.
A soft laugh slipped from him, but it faded, and the look in his eyes darkened. I reached up and placed my fingers on his cheek, feeling his warmth and the stubble. “I wasn’t certain I’d ever get the chance to touch you again.”
Bren placed his hand over mine and closed his eyes. “Selene.”
The current running between us was unlike anything I’d experienced. I forced air into my lungs because I’d stopped breathing.
He tightened his fingers over mine as though he didn’t want my hand to slip away. His breaths were uneven as well.
I placed a hand on his chest, over his heart. The beats were wild, far more erratic than I’d expect from a lethal guardian. From a man whose middle name was restraint.
I chuckled softly. “Are you nervous?”
Bren opened his eyes as he let out an embarrassed laugh. “I’m terrified.”
I drew my brows, stunned. “Of me?”
The pad of his finger was rough as he drew it across my lips. “Does that surprise you?”
“It does. I’m just me, and this isn’t the first time we’ve kissed.”
He cocked his head. “But it’s the first time we’ve chosen to kiss like this. The first night, you thought I wasn’t real, and the second, I teased you into it. The church didn’t count because it was an experiment, and at least I was too worried about the consequences to fully enjoy it.”
Silver flickered in his eyes. “This time, it’s just us, a man and a woman coming together.”
His words burrowed deeply, and I knew in that moment there was no amount of danger that would keep me from him. I studied him, each detail, from the arch of his brows to the dark gray of his eyes and the delicate dark lashes framing them.
Then I stood on tiptoe and moved until our mouths were a breath apart, and I waited for him to close the distance.
I softly closed my eyes as his mouth found mine with a tenderness that undid me. His ever-present control remained, but his heartbeat thundered against my palm. I knew the truth. Beneath my fingertips lived something vast, and I sensed he’d held it back for a long time.
And then it broke.
The taste of salt mingled with his kisses as he claimed me. Possessed me. I lost all sense of myself as I clung to him, matching his kisses, my need equal to his.
I tasted the salt on his lips. The way my body softened against his powerful chest felt so right. His strong hands moved over my back, pulling me closer, and he found his way beneath my shirt. I gasped as his fingers touched my bare skin.
I needed this man. All of him, and I didn’t know how to stop taking what I’d craved for so long.
Eventually, Bren pulled away from our frantic kisses, both of us inhaling deeply. My body cried out, and a whispered protest slipped from me. “No.”
He rested his head against mine, his mouth close to my ear, his breaths deep. “We’re in public, Selene.”
I turned to him and caught his lips with mine, kissing him again. “I don’t want this to end.”
He sighed. “I don’t either.”
I searched his face and searched my thoughts for anything that would keep us together. “There has to be somewhere we don’t have to stop.”
He leaned away and cradled my face in his hands. “I feel the same. I do. But going further isn’t something we can take lightly. It means something. To you and to me. More than just the physical. Do you understand?”
I searched his face, looking for reluctance, but found only anguish. I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. “I do.”
It took me a moment to face him again, and my words came out as a soft whisper. “Our emotions will be even stronger then.”
Bren nodded. “I know mine will be, and I think yours too. We’re not ready for what may follow. I’ve allowed this much, wanting you more than anything, and knowing you have a right to make your own decisions.”
I tightened my grip on his shirt. “I’m not ready to lose you just yet.”
“You’ll not lose me, Selene. Unless you walk away. And that’s the point. You’re here in my life, the likes of which I never expected. I want more than stolen moments on the beach.”
He gazed toward the ocean, shaking his head, before he turned back to me. “I want you where I can hold you and kiss you any time I want. I need to know that nothing will harm you, and it might take me some time to make that happen.”
He swallowed hard. “Can you give me that? Can you wait for me?”
My heart ached at the unfairness of it all. But what choice did I have?
I laced my fingers with his. “I’ve been waiting for you since I first saw you in the pub. I’m not going anywhere either.”
I sighed. “I’ll be patient. As much as I can. But promise me we can look at stonework when it all gets to be too much and I need to feel you close to me.”
“Stonework.” A grin broke across his face, bringing back the carefree man I’d seen earlier. “You just need to say the word.”
I nodded as I stood on tiptoe and slid my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his, soaking in as much of him as I could. Then I forced myself to pull back and caught his gaze. “I think you promised this girl dinner in Dingle.”
He smiled softly. “Then you’d better get those shoes on, unless you want me to carry you on my back.”
I didn’t doubt that he could. A laugh spilled out of me at the thought. “I’d prefer to walk.”
We brushed the sand from our feet as best we could before slipping on our socks and boots. He held my hand as we made our way back to the car.
Inside, Bren started the engine and headed for Dingle. There, we laughed and chatted over fish and chips, or chippers as he called them. But there were moments when his gaze grew distant, and his smile faded.
As we headed for home, I glanced at the side mirror reflection, the endless ocean and its calming waves fading in the distance. Bren had grown quiet beside me. Despite our having had the most perfect day, I sensed his unease.
I felt it as well, and the tiny seed of doubt inside me grew.