21. Sonya
Sonya
I woke up with a smile tipping my lips at the corner. My body was deliciously sore as I kicked off the sheet and stretched my arms and legs straight out. My smile grew as memories flashed in my mind of all the ways I’d earned every single ache.
Nick.
Last night was a revelation. It wasn’t just the insatiable sex, the greedy way we came together time after time, unable to get enough of each other.
It was also the simple things we did like catching up on our lives and sharing stories from our lives before we met.
It was making dinner together, something so couple-y that I felt my body physically clench in shock at the domesticity of it all.
It was all so perfect that I hadn’t wanted the night to end, but eventually the final orgasm had tugged me into a deep sleep that was—surprise, surprise—filled with dreams of Nick.
Of the relationship we could have in public.
The life we could have together.
Just thinking about the dreams put an even bigger smile on my face. They were so real. So perfect.
I wanted it. Badly.
So bad that my heart ached with longing to make those flashes of life a reality. My heart was light but the burden was heavy because having that life with Nick could come at a heavy cost. It wasn’t my cost to pay so it wasn’t a decision I could make alone.
The scent of coffee hit my nose and then the distinct sound of very masculine humming.
He’s still here. There was a small part of me that thought he was gone, that he’d slipped out sometime before sunrise, and hearing him making himself at home in my kitchen had me on my feet, rushing to get back to him.
I grabbed a nightgown, the pink silk, and rushed to the kitchen where I came to an abrupt stop at the sight of Nick barefoot and shirtless, wielding the blue spatula like it was a hockey stick. “Well this is a magnificent sight.”
He turned over his shoulder, grin coming slow and seductive. “Morning.” His gaze raked over me and heated when he took in my breakfast outfit.
My nipples hardened instantly and his nostrils flared. “Good morning.” It was better than good now that I knew he was still here.
“Hungry?”
In more ways than one. “Starved.” He turned back to the stove, flipping what I assumed were pancakes and I took advantage of his distraction to cross the kitchen where I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek to his back as my hands settled low on his hard abs. “You smell good.”
He laughed, the sound slightly strained. “I think that’s butter and sugar you’re smelling.”
I laughed, inhaling his scent until it was buried so deep in my brain I knew I’d never forget it. “Nope, it’s you.” I kissed the center of his back and he tensed.
“You’re gonna distract me,” he warned but there was no heat, no annoyance in his voice, just that low, barely restrained rumble that had become so familiar to me.
“That’s kind of the idea.” I kissed his warm skin, enjoying the way his muscles shifted with every move.
“Coffee’s ready.”
“The only thing that could distract me from your beautiful form.” One kiss later and I poured two mugs of coffee and brought the m to the table. “Coffee and breakfast after yesterday? You better be careful Nick or I might be hard to get rid of.”
He turned with an easy smile, bringing a big stack of pancakes to the table, followed by eggs and sausage. “Who says I want to get rid of you?” His gaze stayed fixed on me, watching every tiny flicker of emotion.
And there were plenty. As we ate in comfortable silence, one thought was persistent and pervasive. I want this. It was so easy to forget when we were inside our little bubble that we were keeping secrets, that we were the secret. “This is nice,” I finally said when my thoughts became too much.
“Breakfast?”
I rolled my eyes. “Breakfast is amazing, but I meant this. Being here like this with you. Pretending I don’t notice you’re stealing my sausage and you turning a blind eye to the missing triangles of pancakes some fairy keeps snagging.”
He smiled at me and every inch of my skin tingled with awareness. “That fairy is really fucking cute.”
I blushed at his compliment. “All I’m saying is that this is nice. Really nice.”
Nick nodded slowly. “It is. We could do it more often,” he began, and he didn’t need to finish. If we lived our relationship out in public. “Would it really be so bad?”
I shook my head. “It would be amazing. The quiet mornings like this one. All day sex-a-thons. This casual closeness that makes me feel so connected to you.” I took another sip of coffee and then another.
“I like you, Nick. A lot. I can be myself with you and that seems to be enough for you, and you are so much more than I was expecting when I saw a big, broad cowboy beside me at the bar.”
He grinned. “You’re pretty great, Sonya.” He pushed his plate away with a sigh. “In fact, I think I’m?—”
Someone knocked on the door and we both frowned. I shrugged it off and turned back to Nick, eager to hear what he was about to say.
But the damn knocking sounded again, this time louder and more insistent. “You expecting someone?”
My brows dipped and I shook my head. “No and definitely not this early in the morning.”
At those words we were both on our feet, searching for our phones. It could easily be an emergency. Hell, the entire world outside could’ve burned down for all we’d have noticed. The person on the other side of the door kept knocking and suddenly worried settled low in my gut.
I found my phone and noted a few missed calls and texts from Dad, but otherwise everything was quiet.
I snagged Nick’s t-shirt off the sofa and slid it over my head while I went to see who was trying to beat my door down.
I yanked the door open with a lot of attitude, but when I saw my visitor everything grew a little bit fuzzy. “Dad.”
He stood on the welcome mat, green eyes cold and judgmental. His jaw was clenched so tight I was sure he might explode from whatever emotion he was doing a piss poor job of suppressing. He held up his phone with the screen facing me, still silent.
I didn’t have to squint or look too hard to recognize the scene before me.
Someone had snapped a photo of me and Nick at Hat Trick.
The hall was dim but we’d been so wrapped up in each other that we never once noticed we weren’t alone.
The phone itself was damning. Nick’s left hand rested on my hip and his right hand pressed against the wall beside my head while he looked down at me hungrily.
For my part, I looked up at him like he was the sun and the moon and the stars.
We weren’t actually doing anything in the photo, but the implication was clear.
It was intimate.
Our secret was out.
“This was on a goddamn gossip site, Sonya. Care to explain?” His voice was tight and impatient.
“No,” I spat the word as soon as I found my voice. “Actually I don’t.” My heart raced inside my chest, but not for me. For Nick, who was suddenly behind me with his hands resting on my shoulders. His message was clear. I got your back.
“Coach,” Nick began, but Dad glared before cutting him off.
“You,” he growled, aiming a thick finger in his direction. “Pack your things. You’re done.”
“Enough!” I shouted, waving my hands between the men.
“I had one rule, Sonya.”
“I don’t answer to you, Dad!” I shouted the words louder than I meant to. “You are not my boss and there is no fraternization policy at the Thunderhawks organization.”
He shook his head. “This isn’t a conversation,” he said, stepping closer in an effort to intimidate me like he used to when I was a kid. “You know the rules, Blaze. And you know you crossed a line.”
Nick’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t fight back. He didn’t defend himself. He just stepped back with a blank expression on his face.
“You are a tyrant,” I shouted at the man who looked like my dad but right now I was having a real hard time believing it.
“You don’t get to tell me who I can or cannot date.
You may be his coach but you’ve barely been a father to me and now that I’m actually happy you think this is the way to rebuild our relationship? ” I shook my head. “Un-fucking-real.”
“I should go.” Nick’s voice was lower than I’d ever heard it.
“No,” I said, spinning to face him and clutching his forearms. “You stay. He’s going.” But Nick was already heading to my bedroom, and I chased him. “Nick, come on.”
“You were right. He didn’t handle it well.” He was opting for humor but I couldn’t find anything funny when it felt as if my heart was walking away from me.
“Nick, please.” I reached for him. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Coach doesn’t see it that way.”
Sadness and anger welled up within me. “I’m sorry, Nick. I should have stayed away, but I couldn’t.”
He smiled and reached out to trace the line of my jaw. “I couldn’t either.”
“Stay.”
He shook his head. “I can’t.”
My legs gave out. “You hate me.” It was self-pitying and I hated myself for even saying the words. “This is my fault Nick. I will fix it. I promise.”
He flashed a sad smile as he finished dressing. “Don’t worry about me, Sonya. You warned me. I didn’t listen.”
“I care about you, Nick, more than I expected. I’m not letting you go.”
“It’s okay,” he whispered before brushing a whisper soft kiss to my lips and then he was gone.
The house was quiet, but not silent. I felt the silent rage emanating from Dad before I spotted him, pacing the length of my living room. “You are an ass.”
He stopped pacing and turned to face me. “Do you have any idea how bad this looks?”
I laughed. “It’s a gossip site, Dad. Get over it and get over yourself.” I shook my head. “I knew you’d overreact because heaven forbid the whole world doesn’t bow down to your wants and needs.”
“I told you,” he started but I cut him off.
“And I told you that I don’t listen to you! I’m not a child and I don’t work for you. And after this, I won’t be anything to you.”
“Because of him?” he asked, incredulous.
“Believe it or not, because of you.” My body shook with anger. “You fired him, you maniac.”
“Do you know what this kind of thing could do to the team?” He gave me that disappointed shake of his head that would’ve sent me reeling when I was a girl. “This is why I keep my personal and professional lives separate.”
“Bullshit.” I refused to let that lie stand. “Our house was constantly filled with hockey players. Every important moment in my life was interrupted or usurped by hockey so go feed that line to someone else.”
“Stop this,” he shouted. “I will not have you jeopardize everything I’ve built.”
His words stopped me cold but only for a moment. They didn’t shock me, not exactly, but they made everything suddenly clear. “Well it’s good to know that nothing has changed, Dad. Don’t come back here and don’t call me.” I opened the door and waited for him to leave.
He stepped out and turned to face me. “Sonya,” he began but I was done listening to his shit and I slammed the door in his face.
My heart ached. Remnants of Nick were all around me from the interrupted breakfast to his scent and his larger-than-life presence.
I already missed him.