37. Paige
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Paige
The scent of stale beer permeates my nostrils as soon as we enter. Classic rock music fills the air, along with the low chatter of people filling the booths.
“Tim, my man. How are you?” Ryan tips his chin toward the bartender with a thick, long beard and dark eyes.
“Doing good. What can I get you two?” He places his hands on the wooden bar weathered with marks showing how long this place has served its clientele. A massive anchor hangs from above, its thin cord doing little to spark confidence.
Ryan turns to me. “Do you trust me?”
Puzzled, I nod, hoping I haven’t made the wrong decision.
“Two burgers with the works and two beers.” He lifts two fingers in the air before taking my hand and leading me to an empty booth.
He greets the people in the booth next to us, and I quickly retract my hand.
This is a friendly outing. Not a date. Even though my lady parts haven’t gotten the memo.
They’ve been pulsing since the moment he entered my car, his sharp, masculine scent washing over the small space.
The gray t-shirt clinging to his muscles and the dark blue backwards cap certainly hadn’t helped.
It was lucky we got to our destination safely, considering my head was swimming with his presence.
He drops into the booth, patting a spot next to him, but I leave some distance between us. We’re in public, after all.
“Is there a story to this place?” I ask.
“Nothing dramatic. But since most of the newly decorated bars are crowded with tourists for the better part of the year, this place has become a refuge for us locals. Sorry, I know you prefer wine, but that’s one thing this place lacks—wine worth drinking.”
“Thank you for looking out for me, then.”
With Bradley, I was used to him ordering what he wanted to eat or drink and expecting me to play along. I don’t think he even knew I preferred white wine after four years of dating. Knowing Ryan thought about my preferences tugs at a string in my heart, one I thought was long forgotten.
“I’m assuming the food is better than the wine?”
He huffs out a laugh, showing his perfectly straight, white teeth. “Much better. Their burgers are out of this world.”
The bearded bartender approaches us, then, carrying two plates and two beer glasses overflowing with beer. He drops the items onto our table with a thud, tipping his head at us. “Enjoy.”
The burger is easily the size of my head, so I grab it with both hands, hoping all the fillings stay inside. Biting into it, I let out a loud groan, and Ryan smirks at me.
“Good?”
“So good,” I respond, licking the excess ketchup off the side of my mouth.
“Told you.” He winks before digging into his own burger.
The second bite is even better, and so are the third and the fourth.
I can’t put a finger on why it’s so good, it just is.
“This reminds me of a hole-in-the-wall restaurant I went to in Spain. It looked like shit, absolute shit. A part of me was ready to walk out with food poisoning, but it turned out to be the best paella I’ve ever had.
It was so good we went again the next day. ”
He looks at me with wide, interested eyes and turned up lips, something I’m not accustomed to. “Spain? Was that your favorite place you visited?”
“No.” I wipe my mouth with a napkin. “Spain is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but we mostly visited the cities, and I prefer nature.”
“What’s your dream destination?”
“Peru.” My lips twitch with a smile. “I actually already had the ticket before…” Breath catches in my throat. “Well, before it fell through.”
His intent gaze focuses on me for an uncomfortable second, but he doesn’t pry further. Thank God. How did I come so close to blurting out everything that happened?
It took me months to convince Bradley we should go to Peru. Unlike me, he preferred traveling to posh European cities. I’d feel like an immature little girl when he’d explain how there are no museums in the jungle.
Since he was older and a professor at my college, I’d believe him.
He used to tell me how my undeniable writing talent needed actual inspiration, and he knew just the place where I could find it.
I later realized the real reason for it.
It was much easier to convince his wife he had a conference to attend in fancy cities than in the places I suggested.
My bags were already packed, ready to leave for my dream place with my boyfriend. Then I found out he was married.
I swallow around the lump in my throat, pushing back the shame and the tears. What would Ryan say if he knew? Would he blame me? I didn’t know, but that doesn’t really matter, does it? I still almost ruined a little girl’s family.
He finishes his burger and, while I’m sure he notices the pregnant pause, he doesn’t push me to share. Instead, he wipes his hands, dropping the napkin onto his empty place. “I’ve heard great things about Peru.”
It’s scary sometimes how he seems to know exactly what I need. When I need him to push me, he does. When I need him to give me space, he does exactly that.
“Yeah, I think it’s pretty spectacular.”
“Why don’t you go?”
“What do you mean?” I shoot him a curious look.
“It sucks that it fell through before, but Peru is still there. Why not go?” He takes a sip of his beer, shrugging his shoulders.
I huff a nervous laugh, my neck heating up. “I have other things to do. I have no one to go with. I don’t know.”
“Well, if you can work in the Bahamas, I think you can work in Peru.” He leans back, crossing his hands over his chest. “And I could go with you.”
A snort escapes me as I shake my head. “You’d go with me to Peru?”
His biceps flex as he leans on his elbows, drawing my attention. “Why not?”
“Pfft. I don’t know… Maybe because you have a job?”
“It’s barely a job, and I’m not planning to do it forever.” He raises a single eyebrow.
“Then what will you do?”
“Maybe I’ll travel.”
This time, a cackle sneaks past my lips. “You? Traveling?”
“Why is that so hard to believe?” The smirk twitching the corner of his mouth taunts me.
“You never mentioned wanting to travel.”
“So? You wanted to travel since always and you don’t plan to make that happen. If you can change your mind, so can I.”
In a way, he’s right. I grit my teeth together, hating the idea. “Where would you go?”
“Maybe Peru.”
“This conversation is exhausting, you realize that?” I don’t mention the fact that my belly clenches with envy at imagining him doing something I wanted to do for so long.
“A person who knows a shit-ton about traveling recommended it so I think it’s a pretty good option.”
Irritation gnaws at my insides. “You’re in the middle of buying a house!” Why does he act like it’s so freaking simple? To just up and leave?
“Yeah, and it’s going like shit. Look, I don’t know who you’re trying to convince, but the sound of going to Peru doesn’t sound half as bad.
Matter of fact, maybe that’s exactly what I need to clear my head.
Hell, maybe some ayuhasca is the magical cure for my headaches.
And I think you love the idea, but you’re scared. ”
My mouth parts, my cheeks flushing. Of course, I’m fucking scared. And it has nothing to do with Peru. “Wouldn’t it be weird? The two of us going to Peru together?”
“Why would two stepsiblings traveling together be weird?” The napkin I throw hits him straight in the nose, and I’d be more excited about it if not for the massive grin on his stupid, gorgeous face.
“I know,” he says, placing the napkin back on the table.
“I hate that word, too.” His statement is loaded but I don’t dare overthink it.
“What about the wedding?”
He lets out a loud sigh. “Fine, we’ll go after the wedding.”
What the hell just happened? “I’m not agreeing to it.”
“But you’re not disagreeing, either.”
“I…” I open my mouth to protest, but no sound comes out. No matter how much I want to tell him it’s a ridiculous, unrealistic idea, my body doesn’t let me. Finally, I exhale. “Your mom asked me to go wedding dress shopping with her.”
The smirk drops from his face as he glances at me with curiosity. “Yeah, she mentioned it. She, uhm, really wants to get close to the three of you.”
Guilt pinches at my insides. “I’m truly sorry, Ryan. We should’ve never doubted her intentions. She didn’t deserve that.”
“Thank you for apologizing.”
Even though he doesn’t ask for more, words spill out of me on their own.
“Our mom left when we were five. We were young enough to be completely clueless, but old enough to remember and miss her. Dad would get into relationships, and we hoped we would get a new mom, but it never really worked out like that.” I shake my head, focusing on peeling the sticker off my beer bottle.
“We quickly realized most of them didn’t have good intentions, but at least they didn’t stick around for long.
Then came Tiffany. She acted as if she loved us in front of Dad and despised us in private.
A real fairytale stepmother.” I offer him a soft smile.
“We tried to tell him that, but he was so in love he couldn’t see past it.
When everything went to shit, he was devastated.
He let her take everything she wanted in the divorce, including the only home Jordan and I had. ”
“Shit, Paige…” He purses his lips.
“That’s not the worst part. It was hard for us to lose a home, yes.
But in a way, we lost our only remaining parent, too.
The divorce left him an empty shell of a human being.
It took him months to start functioning and years to come back to his old self.
In the meantime, Jordan and I grew up in every way that mattered.
We promised each other we’ll do more next time. To protect him, to protect us.”
“That sounds horrible.”
“It could’ve been worse. We were lucky enough to have a built-in best friend.” My lips tip up into a sad smile.
“I’m glad you had each other.” His eyes soften, the beauty of them clenching my chest. “I hope you know my mom would never do something like that.”
“I know. We know. But old habits are hard to break. I’ll make sure your mom knows it had nothing to do with her.”
“She knows, and she adores you, anyway.”
His words warm my heart. “I adore her, too.” The smiles he shoots me burrows itself deep into my chest. “Thank you for bringing me, the burger was great.”
“Thank you for helping me pick out plants.”
“It seems like it was a ploy, since you haven’t actually needed any.” I cross my arms in front of my chest, a knowing look on my face.
“So what if it was?” He shrugs, grabbing the last fry off my plate and popping it into his mouth.
“Hey! That was mine.” I slap his hand away.
“How about this? I’ll bring you some fries tomorrow, when I come over to fuck you senseless.”
My mouth parts in shock, words escaping me.
“What? You don’t like the idea?”
My ears burn, but the heat in my stomach is on a whole other level. It’s what makes me respond with, “Who says I don’t like it? I thought that was what I agreed to—sex, not dates.”
His tongue runs over his top teeth, and he nods his head slowly. “Then you better be ready.” He flashes a wink that zings straight to my core.
“W-we should go.”
“Oh, not tonight. It’s better if you wait a little longer.”
I level him with a glare. “I meant we should go home. Each of us to our own respective homes.”
“Of course. I’m sure you’d rather have some time for yourself right now.” The corner of his mouth hooks, and he’s right.
I want to go home because this thrill is almost too much. My heart is beating out of my chest as moisture pools between my thighs. There’s a tingle at the bottom of my spine, one that needs to be taken care of.
Still, I let out a huff and hop to my feet. “Let’s go.”
He shakes his head, smirking and goes to pay the bill. I watch his sculpted ass move in the weathered jeans. Waiting for tomorrow will be a long, long wait.