40. Paige
CHAPTER FORTY
Paige
We stuff our faces with food, sprawled over my couch. There’s a TV show playing in the background, but I don’t pay it any attention.
“You never told me how you got into writing,” Ryan states, wiping the salt off his fingers.
“Writing was a part of me since I can remember.” I shrug.
“I was one of those kids who filled out a diary every single day. It was easier, most days, to put the thoughts on paper than to keep them inside. A teacher recognized my love for it and started mentoring me. But it wasn’t until college that I decided it was something I actually want to do in life. ”
“Was it a great aha moment? I’m still searching for one myself.”
“No. It was another teacher. He, uhm…told me I was truly talented and forced me to nurture it.” My gaze drops to the food in my lap. I pop a fry into my mouth and chew on it absentmindedly.
“Well, that’s still nice. He must have been a wonderful teacher.”
I scoff loudly. “Not really. Turned out it was a ploy to get into my pants.”
My tongue quicker than my brain, the words spill out of me of their own accord. It’s more than I’ve ever spoke about it to another person, other than Jordan and Emma. My defenses are probably down from the three orgasms I’ve received.
Ryan leans toward me, his jaw suddenly tight. “What?”
My inner turmoil still rages, but I continue speaking, “It wasn’t like that. He was my teacher during my first year of college, but we didn’t start dating until grad school.”
“That doesn’t make it any better, Paige.” His face shows genuine concern, and for a second, I’m left wondering why the hell he cares.
He cares about you, Paige, you must’ve noticed that.
“It sounds worse than it was.” The words taste bitter as they leave my mouth.
The beginning maybe wasn’t as bad, but the ending surely was. So is wondering if I was actually talented or if that was just a thing he said to young girls he wanted to fuck.
“It sounds like he used his position of power, that’s how it sounds. And I don’t like it one bit.” Anger rolls off him in waves, flexing his arms and scrunching his nose. As usual, a need to make everything right grows within me.
“Yeah, it wasn’t the best thing ever. But it wasn’t against the rules since he wasn’t my professor anymore. Besides, I was an adult, capable of making my own decisions.” When all else fails, blame it on the poor young woman’s lack of judgement.
He turns to me, the corners of his eyes dropping slightly. “No, Paige. It wasn’t your fault. And I’m sorry you went through that.”
Moisture prickles under my eyelids. I’m not sure if he’d be so understanding if he knew the entire story, but for now, I revel in his comfort.
“It was a long time ago.” I wave him off, hopefully drying my tears. “How about you? Did you always know you wanted to be in finance?”
“Acquisitions. And no.”
He places the food bag onto the coffee table, scooting his ass right next to mine. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, making me lean my head on his.
“I never had a clear vision of what I wanted to do. I just wanted to do it right, you know?” His hand runs up and down my arm soothingly.
“Get good grades, get into a good college, and get a good job that can sustain both me and Mom one day. She raised me on her own, and I didn’t want to be another thing she had to worry about.
Funny enough, I’m now thirty and she’s worried as hell for me.
” He lets out a self-deprecating half-chuckle.
“It’s different. It’s not like you chose to have the headaches.”
“Didn’t I?” He glances at me. “Because from what I can tell, my body has been telling me to stop for years. The very first merger I did, where I had to lay off over a hundred and fifty people, I came home and threw up. I vomited for a week straight before it turned into a rock in my stomach. The rock grew smaller and smaller before I learned not to notice it. I worked a job I hated, doing shit I disagreed with, and I haven’t stopped until my body physically forced me to. ”
The weight of his words falls heavily on my shoulders. I know exactly what he means. Caring about the expectations of others, not wanting to be a burden—those are all feelings I deal with daily.
“It takes so much guts to leave everything you’ve built, no matter how shitty, and start again. I’m proud of you.”
“I’m proud of you, too.” He presses a kiss to the top of my hair, and a shiver runs through me. It’s a simple statement, but one that holds so much weight.
I wake up with Ryan’s arms wrapped tightly around me.
His deep, even breaths let me know he’s still asleep, as his hot skin keeps me warm.
My eyes close, enjoying the moment. His large arm is a welcome weight on my body, wrapping me in a cozy cocoon.
It’s the most comfortable I’ve felt in probably ever, and I don’t want to leave this bed.
Unfortunately, my wish is quickly ruined by the sound of my alarm ringing. I grab the phone as fast as I can to silence it, but Ryan still stirs behind me.
“Shit,” I murmur, noticing it’s nine am.
“What’s going on?” Ryan says in a groggy voice.
“I have to be wedding dress shopping with your mom in less than an hour.”
A groan escapes him as he unwraps his hand from me, dropping it to his forehead.
He’s not wearing a shirt, and my gaze catches on the defined muscles of his chest and stomach.
We barely got any sleep last night. After scarfing all the food, we talked more before he decided to spread me out on my couch.
He called me dessert as he devoured me before bringing me back to the bed and fucking me.
Then he remembered the toy he got me and fucked me again so we could try it out.
A pensive, nostalgic look forms on my face, but it’s soon broken by another alarm.
“Fuck, I have to go,” I say, jumping out of bed.
“Do you really have to?”
“No, I’ll just tell Kim that I was incapacitated by her son’s dick and can’t help her choose a dress for one of the most important days in her life.”
Ryan shucks a pillow at me and I chuckle as I throw it back at him. “Fine, go.”
In the bathroom, I rush to brush my teeth when Ryan joins me.
He takes the second toothbrush from the holder, the one he used last night, warming my insides with a sense of familiarity.
I spit out the remnants of the toothpaste, studying myself in the mirror.
Instead of brushing his teeth, he steps behind me, moving the hair from one side of my neck and pressing his lips to it.
I let out a content sigh before realizing there’s a red spot on my neck, right next to where his lips currently are.
“Stop. Stop it.” I take his hand to pull him away, but he doesn’t budge. “I don’t have the time to cover one hickey, let alone two.”
His chuckle tickles my neck. “Fine. But only because it’s my mother. If it were anyone else, you’d be sporting two hickeys right about now.”
“Lucky me,” I mutter, making him laugh. “Aren’t you working today?”
“Nope. I only took three shifts this week.”
I shake my head, rushing to get ready. When I finally exit my room, I find Ryan fully clothed, scrolling his phone on my couch.
As soon as he hears me approach, he places the phone back into his pocket, glancing up at me. “Ready?”
“I guess.”
“Let’s go, then.” He places a hand on the small of my back, and the heat of his palm seeps into my skin.
With a silly smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach, I let Ryan open the door for me. He must’ve fucked the brain out of my skull last night because I haven’t even thought about my intrusive neighbor seeing us leave, until she appears right in front of us, clad in a lilac tweed skirt suit.
“Linda,” I squeal, my eyes widening.
She presses a hand to her chest, her shoulders dropping with relief. “Oh, thank God, that’s what the noise was. I was afraid we were having coyotes again.”
My face reddens with embarrassment. “It’s not…” I turn to Ryan for help, but he raises an eyebrow, along with a corner of his lips.
“Oh, poppycock.” She waves me off. “I might be old, dear, but I’m not that old. Anyway, I came because I need your help.”
“I’m sorry, but I was just on my way out, and I’m running late.”
“No worries. The young man here will surely help me, won’t he?” She shoots him that old lady smile, only hers is laced with years of war strategizing.
I offer Ryan a sympathetic look.
The corners of his eyes crinkle with a smile. “I’d be honored to.”
I should’ve warned him about her. She’s persuasive even when you’re prepared, but this, being confronted with her tactics completely unequipped, he doesn’t stand a chance. Still, I attempt to save him.
“Linda, I can help you when I come home. I’m sure it’s not an emergency.”
“Oh, shush, dear. No offense, but I’d much rather watch him mow my lawn than you.”
A hearty chuckle escapes Ryan, and I realize I’ve been beaten. He places a kiss on my cheek, which I’m grateful for considering we have company, and follows Linda to her yard. Dread builds in my stomach as I watch him walk into the lion’s den, but a ping on my phone reminds me I’m running late.