Chapter Thirteen
Lucy
I don’t know why I bothered to leave the house tonight.
I knew this would happen. My head is well and truly up my arse at the minute.
I am sleep deprived, mentally exhausted, and more than likely about to get my period.
When some friends from school called to say that they had heard I was back in town, I felt obliged to say yes to a night out.
I haven’t been on a proper night out in years, and it was just as shit as I remember.
I lasted all of three hours putting on a brave face for the crowd before enough was enough, and I called it a night.
That’s what has led me to this, walking down a busy high street full of people shouting, laughing, and wobbling on ridiculously high heels.
They all look so carefree. Living in the moment, enjoying their time together.
Yet, here I am, the miserable one who wants to get home to a cup of tea, new pyjamas, and fresh bedding.
Maybe I’m just an old soul at heart. I feel so lost in myself right now, not knowing what to do with myself, or even what could bring me joy.
“Lucy!” A masculine voice calls from behind.
Now, I may be a little drunk, but even I know that you don’t interact with strange men in the middle of the night. Especially when it sounds like they’re catcalling after you. That voice did sound familiar, though. But I blame that on the Tequila.
“Sugarplum,” the voice calls again, and this time he practically sings it. There is only one person around here who would call me by that name.
Max.
A jolt of excitement runs through me. My legs are stiffening, and my core is clenching.
What the hell is wrong with me? He only said my name; I haven’t even seen him yet, and this is how I react.
Just hearing the way it sounds on his lips does something to me, every single time.
I turn slowly to face him. Trying not to give away my anticipation.
“Max,” I breathe out, fighting the smile that wants to break free.
Calm down, girl. You decided this fate. Deal with the consequences.
“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?” He smirks, his eyes hovering over every part of my body. “Are you here alone?” his brow scrunches.
“Er… I wasn’t. I was out with school friends, but I wasn’t feeling it tonight,” I reply glumly.
Usually, I would have loved being out with my old friends, but that was six years ago, and now I can’t shake this anxious feeling.
The need to get home became too much. I faked a headache and bolted out of there.
I don’t know if it was seeing most of them happy with their partners that tipped me over the edge, knowing that’s something I won’t ever truly have. Not when the one person I want is completely forbidden, and consequently, stood right in front of me. Oh, how fate likes to torment me.
“That makes two of us. How about I buy you a drink before you go?” He asks.
My head moves that fast to face him, I don’t know how I haven’t given myself whiplash. I am just so surprised. Me and him? Alone? In a bar? I don’t know if my heart could take it.
The words that leave my mouth are the opposite of what my brain is telling me to say. “Okay.”
I smile shyly up at him as he towers over me.
It doesn’t take much with my tiny frame, but seeing how tall and broad he is does things to me.
Pesky memories of the times we spent together in my college housing all those years ago race through my mind.
How easily he could pick me up and place me wherever he wanted me.
.. whenever he wanted me. Warmth travels up my cheeks at the dirty memories that plague my mind. I can’t think these things anymore.
“Come on, I know a place,” he says with a wide smile as he leads the way to a quieter street. He takes my hand in his like it’s the most natural thing in the world. My eyes close for a beat at the feel of his warm strength as I thread my fingers through his.
“I never took you for a murderer, but bringing a girl down a dark alley is a good way to start.” I joke.
He barks out a laugh in return. “I could think of better places than here if that was my plan.”
“Because that’s not creepy at all,” I shake my head, hiding the smile he always manages to bring out of me under the canopy of my hair.
“I am a creep. You know that.” Another wink.
God, that smile! The flutters aren’t just in my stomach anymore. They’re travelling to places that they definitely shouldn’t. Going for a drink with him is a very bad idea. But this is the lightest I have felt in a long time.
When we make it to the end, there is one single door with neon lights above that say ‘bar’.
That’s it. No fancy name, no door staff.
Just a half-arsed sign. Where the hell has he brought me?
I turn to him and raise a brow as he pushes open the door.
The moment we step inside, I suck in a breath. This is not at all what I expected.
The room is dark with a warm glow all around.
It’s packed with people, but it’s strangely quiet for a weekend.
You can actually hear yourself think in here, unlike most places I’ve been to tonight.
Max finds us a booth at the other end of the bar, leaving me here whilst he gets our drinks ordered.
I can’t help but watch his retreating figure.
Unable to look away from his thick thighs and gorgeous arse.
Fuck, that man is on a whole other level of sexy.
If anyone can wear a suit well, Max can.
I need to stop. I’m just making it harder for myself by fawning all over him.
Why does he need to be so damn likable? Couldn’t he have food in his teeth or a big, hairy spot on his nose, just anything that might put me off him?
But who am I kidding? Even those things wouldn’t stop the attraction I feel.
I’m drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
It's only when he walks back over that I realise he never asked me what I wanted to drink, but he clearly didn’t need to.
He has a pint of my favourite fruity cider in one hand and a beer in the other.
Ugh, even the little things like this send my heart in to a frenzy.
He sets it down in front of me before sliding into the booth across from me.
“I hope I remembered right,” he says, motioning to my drink.
Smiling over at him, I pick it up and take a large sip, moaning softly at the taste. “Yes, you did. Hardly anywhere sells this anymore.”
“I know. That’s why I brought you here. I noticed it the last time I came.”
The last time he came, with a date? Was he thinking about me whilst he was here with another woman? I’m dying to ask, but I lost my right to ask those sorts of things a very long time ago.
“Thank you,” I reply meekly.
“No, thank you. You’ve saved me from a very boring night.”
“Who were you out with earlier?” I ask, after finally remembering how to speak.
“Just the lads. Tommy and Jenson disappeared with different girls, and I wasn’t in the mood to hang around and wait for them. I was on my way for a pizza when I bumped into you.”
“Ah, I’m sorry I interrupted your food run,” I say with a mocking tone.
“Don’t worry, time with you is time well spent.” He smiles, leaning back to push up the sleeves of his shirt. My eyes are fixated on the movement. Watching him as he tenses his muscular forearms. Wow, I’m even turned on by his arms for God's sake.
Uh oh. Those damn vagina tingles are back.
“Oh, really? Spending time with your friend is worth giving up a greasy pizza slice for?” I say, slightly breathless from ogling him. If Max notices the change in me, he doesn’t comment on it.
Am I flirting? I think I’m flirting, and I definitely shouldn’t be.
“I would give up everything just to spend another hour with you.” His eyes stay locked on mine as he speaks, the flirtatious glint disappearing from his expression. “Time seems to be the one thing that has always been against us, don’t you think?”
My words are trapped inside my throat. I can’t voice that I agree with him, not without giving him the wrong impression.
If we had the time, we could have possibly waited out the family fallout.
We could have hoped everyone would be happy with the idea of us.
But we didn’t. Because time was never on our side.
I was so young back then, I needed to explore the world and find my place in it.
If only time could have made my feelings for him fade, even just a little bit.
“Time is the one thing that no one can control,” I reply.
“If we could, I wonder if things would have ended differently.” His eyes look past me as he is deep in thought.
“I guess we will never know.”
The things I would give to turn back time and do everything differently. But as I said, it’s the one thing that is out of our control.
“I know that we’re just friends now, but there is one thing I have to ask.” My heart is beating so loud I can feel it ringing through my ears. “Did you ever truly love me? Or was it just a fling to you?”
My first reaction is to be upset by such a question. Then I notice the way he is sitting, leaning over the table on his crossed arms. His eyes bounce between mine, studying me. But it’s the hurt I see hidden behind them that makes me take a deep breath. The hurt that I caused.
I can’t lie to him. Not about this. Even if it is something we can never have again.
“Yes, Max. I loved you with every piece of me.”
But what he doesn’t know is that I still do.