Chapter Sixteen
Lucy
The longer the night goes on, the more comfortable I feel. Riley is an amazing guy. He hasn’t been too forward, hasn’t attempted to make any moves, and has kept me company whilst the other two have been sucking face for the last hour.
“Do you think they can breathe?” He asks, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t know. I haven’t seen them come up for air in a while.” I giggle before stifling a yawn. “I’m sorry, I have had such a long day travelling.”
“Well, it is one o’clock in the morning.” He smiles.
Glancing down at my phone, I suck in a breath. “How is it so late already? The night has gone faster than I thought it had.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun.” He winks. A panty-melting smile took over his face.
Fuck me, this man is gorgeous.
“I'd better head back and get some sleep. But, I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask, more inclined to the idea of seeing him again than I thought I would be.
“Yes, if you want me?” He side-eyes me cheekily.
I laugh, but I think I do want him. For the first time in forever, I want a man that isn’t him. I’m not forward enough to say that.
“I’d love it,” I reply shyly.
“I’ll walk you back to your hotel. I have a feeling these two won’t be sleeping anytime soon.”
I glance back at the others, and they’re still a ball of tangled limbs. Sara is practically sitting on Leon's knee now. “I agree.”
After saying a quick goodbye and arranging times for tomorrow, we leave the lovebirds to it. With the mischievous look Sara gave me, I’m pretty sure they’ll be going back somewhere soon, too.
When the fresh air hits my skin, a shiver runs through me.
The temperature has really dropped since I came out.
Thank God it’s a quick walk back to the hotel.
Riley must notice as he shrugs off his denim jacket and wraps it around my shoulders.
The deep, manly scent of his aftershave surrounds me.
What is it about a man that smells good?
Is there anything wrong with this man at all?
“You don’t have to do that,” I look up at him and catch him gazing down at me.
“I know.” That's all he says, taking my hand to guide me through the crowd outside.
It feels nice, holding his hand like this.
His fingers are threading through mine. But that jolt of electricity that I was hoping for never came.
Just the same as always. The spark I’m hoping will finally stop this dry spell I’ve had for years.
Am I broken? Max has spoiled me for anyone else.
I stare down at our joined hands, willing for something, anything, to happen.
“What do you do for work, Riley?” I ask.
My interest in him is growing. There is something about him that seems different than the other men I have tried to get to know.
He smirks at me before answering. “I don’t know if you’d wanna know.”
“Trust me, I need to know now.” I laugh. I raise a brow, intrigued by his reaction.
“Okay. But you asked for it. I own a strip club.” He replies nonchalantly.
I choke on a laugh. “Excuse me?”
“I own a bar. That has women. That takes their clothes off…”
“I know what a strip club is,” I laugh some more. “It just isn’t what I expected you to say!”
“What did you expect? A postman?” He wrinkles his nose at the thought.
“No. Like a marine or something. Or maybe a wrestler. But definitely not that.”
“I’m sorry to disappoint.” But he doesn’t look bothered at all.
“You haven’t. I want to go! I’ve never been to a strip club before.” I tell him.
I have always wanted to go to one. I love the way the dancers move and how different it is from anything I have ever done before. I don’t think I have a sexy bone in my body, but I would love to try.
“Well, I promise to take you some time.”
We chat for a while longer, enjoying each other’s company. We’re almost at my hotel when he turns to me.
“So, who’s the guy?”
“What?” I ask, my brows crease as I look up at him.
“The guy that has your heart?”
“Oh, erm, it’s not…” I stammer. What do I even say to that?
“It’s okay, you know. I get it. Your face betrays your every emotion. I could see how shocked you were to see me tonight.”
My shoulders slump. Releasing a breath, I decide honesty right now is probably the best policy.
“I have been in love with the same person for much longer than I’d like to admit.
I’m sorry for wasting your time. This was Saras' way of trying to get me over him.” I release my hand from his, removing his jacket from my shoulders and handing it back to him.
“You haven’t. Wasted my time, I mean. I had a good night. But Lucy, I do like you, and when you’re ready, I’d love to take you on a proper date.”
“I like you too.” I quickly add.
“But you love him.” He states, rubbing his thumb across my jaw. “Remember me when you’re ready to move on.” He leans in to kiss my cheek, and still, nothing. There are no sparks or butterflies, and he must notice. “Goodnight, Lucy.”
I smile sadly and wave goodbye before going inside.
Defeated, I stomp around my room getting myself ready for bed.
What a fucking shit show that was. I am so bloody annoyed with myself.
For once, I was really enjoying myself with another man.
Why did my stupid heart have to wreck it?
He could have been the one to finally get me out of this mess.
I will not cry. I repeat like a mantra to myself over and over in my head, because I have wasted too many tears on a situation that is out of my control.
After what feels like a lifetime, my eyes finally drift closed.
With dreams of a stubborn man, dressed in a tailored suit and a cheeky smile, unsettling me through the night.
“So…” Sara drags out the word before finally asking what I know she’s kept in all day. “What did you think of Riley?”
Knew it.
“He was nice,” I tell her, not taking my eyes off the market we’re walking through.
Camden Town is like a whole new world to me.
The shops here are unique, each one beautifully different in their own way.
One could be selling all things pink and glitter, then next door, it could be dark and intimidating.
I love it, and have already spent far more than I should have.
“Nice? That’s it? That man is one of the sexiest humans to walk this planet, and the fact that he has it bad for you. And all you have to say is nice!” She even uses air quotes to emphasise her dramatic outburst. “What the hell happened? I thought you two were getting on?”
“I don’t know.” I lie. If I were Pinocchio, my nose would be at least three feet long. “I just wasn’t feeling it.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me? Would you rather have a woman? Because if you do, I will change up my matchmaking skills.”
Maybe I should try to move on to women. I find them attractive, and it’s not like I’m falling for a man any time soon. If only the thought of a vagina turned me on.
Yep, I definitely like men. Well, one man.
“Nope, I am all for the dick. I just didn’t get the vibe from him, that’s all.” I try to brush it off, but Sara isn’t the type to let things go that easily.
“I call bullshit. There is no way you weren’t attracted to that man. Why did he cancel being our tour guide today?” She raises an eyebrow at me, crossing her arms for added effect.
“I don’t know. Ask him.” She’s starting to piss me off now.
Don’t get me wrong, she is like a sister to me and always has been. That also means she knows exactly how to push my buttons, and her filter is practically non-existent.
“Don’t be cranky with me, Sugarplum. You’re the one who missed out on a good dicking last night.”
Don’t I know it.
“Enough about me… tell me about you and Leon.” I smile, prodding her with my elbow. “You were all over him like a rash.”
The mention of his name turns her angry frown upside down. “He’s my dream guy. We’ve been talking for a few weeks, and we met on a dating app. Last night was the first time I have seen him since college.” She leans in closer to my ear to whisper. “And I saw all of him.” She winks.
I laugh. “He looked at you like you hung the moon and the stars all by yourself. When are you seeing him again?”
“I’m going to hang around London for a few more days, at his place.” Her shoulders shimmy as she does her happy dance.
What I would give to be like her. So carefree and liberal. She does what she wants, who she wants, whenever she wants to. Not caring about the outside noise. Then you have me, a spinster in the making with a dried-up vagina. I’m surprised there’s no cobwebs down there already. It’s been that long.
Strolling through the crammed market, we dodge all the zombie-like kids that don’t look up from their phones, when one of the stalls catches my eye.
Beautiful boho style outfits in all colours, covered in sparkles and tassels, line the tarp walls.
God, I could literally buy every single outfit in here.
I am in that much of a trance that I don’t even tell Sara where I’m going as I make a beeline for the shop.
My hand gently touches the sheer cotton as I stroll between the rails.
“Is there anything in particular you’re looking for, dear?” The voice of an older woman shocks me out of my trance.
I spin around to face the short, lilac-haired woman sitting in the corner. Hidden behind more rails of clothing.
“Oh no, I’m just looking. Everything you have is so beautiful, I’m not sure how I am meant to choose.” I say softly, my eyes skirting around her as I take it all in.
“Nothing as beautiful as you. Whatever you like, you can try on behind that curtain,” she points to the only space free from clothing.
I carry on browsing, but can feel her eyes on me as I wander between the aisles.
Does she think I am trying to steal from her?
I hope not, I don’t think I have the criminal vibe going for me, and I really want to buy something from her.
I keep looking, trying my hardest not to face her, picking up the outfits that catch my eye the most.
“You should try this one,” her voice comes from right behind me, making me squeal. “Sorry, child, I didn’t mean to surprise you.” She chuckles as she holds out a stunning, thigh-length dress. It’s all warm tones of burnt orange with mirrored sequins covering the whole thing.
It’s gorgeous. This kind of dress would look perfect in a beach club in Ibiza.
Holding a hand to my chest, I smile down at her. “You made me jump. I didn’t hear you behind me. I would love to try it on, along with these too, if that’s okay?”
“Of course it is.” She says, her head tilted to the side as she studies me. She’s acting so odd.
I take the dress from her hands and scurry into the makeshift changing room. I don’t know what it is about her, but something feels off. Most people around this part of London are quite eccentric, though, so maybe it’s just that?
This room is much bigger than I anticipated.
There is a fold-up chair on one side and a free-standing mirror on the other.
I change quickly, not feeling completely comfortable being naked in the middle of town with only a thin tarp to shield me.
I try on each outfit, one after the other, falling more in love with each one I try.
When I finally try the outfit that the strange lady picked, I gawk at myself in shock.
It highlights all my main assets, my waist and arse. I love it!
But of course, my traitorous mind wonders if Max would like to see me in it. Or out of it. Stop it now. I scold myself. My own mind can’t be trusted to go one day without thinking about him.
“Lucy-lou!” Sara calls from outside the stall.
Shit, I forgot all about her. I was like a magpie looking at the shiny things. “I’m in here!” I call back.
She obviously heard me clearly enough, as the curtain is pulled back and she shimmies her way inside.
“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been walking around like a lost child for the past ten minutes.
I hate how you do that. I’m going to get you a dog lead so that you can’t wander off again.
” She frowns as she shakes her head at me, before she finally takes in what I’m wearing.
“Oh, my God! You have to get that. You look sexy as fuck! I wanna play dress up too.”
She scurries back out, and I can hear her rummaging through the rails.
Trust Sara to come in here all guns blazing, then switch to excited so quickly.
We easily spend another half an hour in here, laughing and joking as we try on different styles.
When we finally come back out, the old lady has a smile on her face.
“Listening to you two has made my day. What a lovely friendship you have.”
We take over all our new items to pay. Sara goes first and moves to go back outside, but as I hand over some cash for my own, the woman grabs my hand.
She closes her eyes tightly and starts mumbling words I can’t hear.
What the hell is going on? Starting to panic, I try to pull my hand out of her grasp when she flings her eyes open.
“Oh, my girl, you carry so much hurt in your heart. Hurt that you shouldn’t be carrying. Hurt that you, yourself, have caused,” Me? What the hell did I do? “You must give in to temptation; otherwise, you will never find true happiness. Without him, you will never be complete.”
I feel like a fish out of water, my mouth opening and closing of its own accord. “How…”
“How do I know?” She raises a brow at me. “I see things… feel things. And all I feel from you, my dear, is pain. From a love you won’t give yourself over to. Not many people can find that kind of love so easily.” She scolds me before finally releasing my hand. “Don’t be scared to love him.”
With a shaking breath, I nod my head and dart out of her shop. The need to get away is overwhelming me. All I can hear is her soft chuckle behind me as I go. What the fuck just happened? How could she possibly know any of that?
What a trip this turned out to be.