27. Mikhail #2
Every time I close my eyes, I see it, see him collapsing, see the red spreading across his hoodie too fast to stop.
We both said it. If one of us goes then the other follows, and I mean it. The moment his machines stop beeping and keeping the life in him, I’ll follow after him the second I know he’s gone. There’s no version of my life that exists without him in it. There never has been.
Light from the hospital window falls across Daniil’s face, and I lay curled against him on my uninjured side, hand resting on his jaw. My thumb moves along the edge of it carefully. He’s so beautiful it hurts to look at him sometimes.
He hasn’t woken up yet, machines beeping their steady rhythm around us, tracking every function of his body.
I refuse to leave his side, can’t stomach the thought of him waking up alone without me there.
I haven’t left this bed for more than a handful of minutes in the past few days, only moving when absolutely necessary for quick showers in the cramped hospital bathroom, forcing myself to eat the food the nurses keep bringing even though it all tastes like cardboard.
Every time I leave, even for those few minutes, I can’t shake the panic that something will go wrong while I’m not there. So I rush through whatever I need to do and get back as fast as possible, climbing right back into bed with him, pressing close and lacing my fingers with his.
The doctors and nurses have stopped trying to remove me. They just do their checks around me now, and I think they’ve figured out I’m here until he wakes up.
The door slams open so loudly, I jerk. Lev, Yulian, and Alexei walk into the room and stand there looking down at us with completely unreadable expressions.
Yulian drives his elbow hard into Lev’s side, who coughs and rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, staring down at the floor like it’s suddenly fascinating.
“Is he okay?” Yulian asks.
“I don’t fucking know. He still has to wake up.”
He nods and rubs the back of his head, looking uncomfortable. “And you? How are you holding up?”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look okay.”
“I said I’m fine,” I snap, then take a breath and force myself to calm down. “Just… tired. I need him to wake up. That’s all.”
“So, is it true?” Alexei asks, one eyebrow raised. “Because Kelly and I have had our suspicions for a while now.”
Groaning from the pain radiating through my shoulder and stomach, I slowly push myself up in the bed next to him so I can face them properly.
“It’s—” Lev starts but gets cut off by another elbow to his stomach, hard enough to make him grab his midsection and curse under his breath.
“Shut up,” Yulian snaps at him.
I’m not stupid. I know exactly what they’re asking. I’m assuming our mother told them about me and Daniil being together, and now they’re here to confirm it with their own eyes.
“It’s true.”
Alexei rubs his jaw and nods slowly, then walks over to the window with his hands clasped behind his head, mumbling something under his breath.
“I mean, anyone who hasn’t realized you two were together is an idiot. And our family is full of idiots, so I’m not surprised nobody figured it out,” Yulian says flatly.
Lev’s head snaps up. “What is wrong with this family?”
“They’re not blood-related,” Yulian cuts in.
“That’s not the point—”
“Then what is the point? Enlighten us,” Yulian shoots back.
“They grew up as brothers. It’s—”
Yulian scoffs. “Weird? You already said that. Use your words. Say what you actually mean.”
Lev clenches his jaw. “It’s so messed up. Don’t stand there and act like it’s normal.”
“There is nothing wrong with us being together. And if any of you say the word I know you’re all thinking, I will drag myself out of this bed and use my good arm to beat the shit out of you. So don’t go there.” I bark at them.
The room goes quiet for a second.
Yulian grins, clearly enjoying himself. “I don’t care who any of you are sleeping with. Father made it this whole thing, but I couldn’t care less.” He gestures at Alexei. “I mean one look at you, and it’s obvious that you’re gay. You’ve never hidden it well.”
Alexei’s head snaps toward him so fast I’m surprised his neck doesn’t crack.
“I need all of you to leave,” I say, sighing before they start arguing. “Yulian, stay.”
Alexei is still clenching his fist, about to swing at him when Lev grabs him, cursing under his breath.
Once we are alone, he clears his throat. “Do you trust me?”
“Not right now, no. You’re keeping something from this family, and that’s not how we operate. Care to explain?”
His face hardens. “If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.”
“Try me.”
“I can’t.” His voice cracks slightly. “Everything I do, everything I’ve done, it’s to protect this family. You have to know that.”
“Then why—”
“Because telling you endangers someone. Someone who matters. And if any of this gets out, if it reaches the wrong ears…” he trails off, jaw clenching. “I can’t let that happen.”
I stare at him. “You’re asking me to blindly trust you while you’re clearly lying about something huge.”
“I’m asking you to trust that I’m still your brother. That I’m still loyal to this family.” He runs his hands through his hair, messing it up. “I’ve never asked you for anything, Mik. Not once. I’m asking now. Please.”
The thing is, despite all this sketchy behavior, I know Yulian. He’s an asshole, he’s manipulative, but he’s never been a traitor. He’d die for this family without hesitation.
“Fine. But when this blows up, and it will, you better have answers.”
He nods, relief flickering across his face for half a second before he schools it back to neutral and walks out. Finally. Quiet again.
I start to get comfortable when the machines suddenly start beeping. Everything on the screen flashes red, forcing me to jump off the bed.