Chapter 12
Skye
The wedding dress shopping ended with more laughter and hugs than I expected, especially considering the bomb I dropped. But Gemma and Summer had my back, like always. And Carter's offer to stay in their guest house? That was something I couldn't ignore.
I'd only been able to stay in the apartment because Gemma's dad paid the rest of the lease when she moved out.
If not for that, I'd have been out months ago.
I thought I'd like living alone, but I don't, and the thought of bringing in another roommate gives me anxiety. So, the guest house is perfect. It’s my own space, but still, my friends are right there.
I'm following Gemma over to the house to check out the guest house while Carter finishes up his work.
The drive across town is quiet. My phone rests in the cup holder, and I glance at it more than once, wondering if I should reach out to Gage.
We haven't spoken since before I saw him in class.
I ignored every message. Every call. But I haven't stopped thinking about him.
I turn my phone on and ignore the flood of texts, notifications, and missed calls.
My hands tighten on the wheel. Before I can change my mind, I pick up my phone at a red light and tap his name.
He answers on the first ring. "Skye."
"Hey," I say, and my voice sounds smaller than I mean it to. "Can we talk?"
A pause. "Yes. Come to Club Red. My room."
My heart stutters. "Not for a scene."
"No," he says quickly. "Just to talk. It's the one place no one will overhear us or see us."
I nod even though he can't see me. "Okay. I'll meet you tonight."
Hanging up, I pull in behind Gemma at her and Carter's new place. It’s beautiful. I've been here and seen it, but the tour then didn't include the guest house.
"You can actually pull up along the side of the house and park in front of the guest house," Gemma says as I follow her around the side of the house. Sure enough, that part of the driveway ends just in front of the gate that leads to the guest house.
"You can decorate however you want," Gemma says. "Paint, hang stuff, go wild. This is your space now."
Emotion swells in my chest. "Thank you. I really needed this."
"We're happy to have you here. And it's good timing too, with everything going on."
Then a thought sinks in and my smile dropped.
"How much is the rent?" I ask hesitantly.
Gemma gives me a look. "There is no rent."
"Gemma, I can't…"
"Yes, you can. Consider it a gift. You're family. And you've been through enough."
"But…"
"No buts. You helped me so much with the wedding and everything else. You were there for Summer when I couldn't be, and because of you, I found Carter. This is nothing. Let us do this for you."
I bite my lip, fighting the emotion welling in my throat. "Okay. Thank you. Really."
Gemma hugs me and then spends the next half hour showing me all the cool features. They have heated bathroom floors, towel racks, a great sound system, along with hidden TVs in both the bedroom and living room.
After the tour, I promise to start moving in this weekend.
Now that I've seen the space and know I have somewhere safe to land, I head to Club Red.
It feels surreal walking into Club Red in jeans and a hoodie instead of lace or leather. The usual rhythm of music and murmured pleasure is muted tonight. Walking to the elevator, I put in the code and I take it to the third floor, then I stop in front of his door.
He opens it before I can knock. Like he's been waiting for me.
"Come in," he says, stepping aside.
The room looks the same as always. Leather and warmth. Dark and comforting. But something about it feels different now. There's no edge of anticipation. No shiver of submission. Just us. Standing on opposite sides of a room that used to feel like ours.
I fold my arms across my chest. "Thanks for meeting me."
"You called. I'd drop everything for you."
I look away, blinking hard. "I still can't believe it. Seeing you in class... I thought I was going to pass out."
"You weren't the only one."
We both let out weak laughs.
"I didn't know, Skye. I swear. If I had any idea…"
"I know," I cut in. "I know you didn't. That's what makes it worse. We didn't do anything wrong. But it still feels like we did."
He crosses his arms, his jaw tight. "If I had known the last time I touched you would be the last time, I would have done everything differently. Slower. Sweeter. I would've memorized you harder."
My chest aches. I want to walk over to him. To let him hold me. But I stay where I am. "Me too."
Tears burn behind my eyes, and I don't try to stop them. "I want to kiss you so bad, but I can't."
He takes a step forward, then stops. "Skye..."
I shake my head, tears falling freely now. "We can't. Not like this."
"Then let's figure it out," he says. "We're both smart people. There has to be a way."
I search his face. "Even if we could, wouldn't it always feel like a secret? Like something we have to hide?"
"Not forever. First, I'd go to the Dean and ask for you to be transferred. I'd make it open and clean."
"I need that class to graduate, it's my last year. What if someone finds out anyway? What if the Board doesn't approve it? What if..."
He steps closer. "What if we're throwing away something that could be real just because we're scared?"
I don't answer right away. The silence stretches. "This isn't just about us. You love teaching. I can't be the reason you lose that."
"And I can't be the reason you lose your degree."
We're both quiet, the weight of everything pressing in.
"I hate this," I whisper.
"Me too."
"Do you regret it?"
He shakes his head slowly. "Not for a second. Even now. Especially now."
My throat tightens. "I wish I could hate you. It would make this so much easier."
"You don't. And I don't hate you. Which makes this so fucking hard."
"I'm going to miss you. Every day."
"Same."
Neither of us moves. Neither of us knows what to say that won't break us all over again.
I turn and walk to the door. "Goodbye, Gage."
"No," he says, stepping toward me. "Not goodbye. It's goodnight. Because this isn't the end. I'm going to fix this."
I turn to look at him, eyes wide.
"I don't know how yet," he admits, voice raw. "But I will find a way. I'll look at every option. I'll do everything by the book, everything right. And if that's not enough, I'll keep going until it is. I'm not letting us be casualties of bad timing. I'm not giving up."
My heart twists painfully, but hope flickers too. Just a spark.
"I hope you do," I whisper.
When I get back to my apartment, I shut the door behind me and head to my room before I collapse onto my bed. My phone is in my hand before I even realize that I'm calling Gemma.
She answers on the second ring. "Hey…"
I don't say a word. Just start crying.
"Skye? Skye, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"
I sob harder.
"I'm coming over," she says. "I'm calling Summer too. We'll be there in ten."
True to her word, less than ten minutes later, the front door opens without a knock. Gemma and Summer rush in, and they find me curled up in bed, a mess of tears and blankets.
Gemma climbs in first, pulling me into her arms. Summer follows, sandwiching me between them.
"Tell us everything," Summer whispers.
So I do. I tell them about the conversation. About how we stood across from each other, so close but so far apart. About how it ended. How ending things with a Dom isn't supposed to feel like this. It's supposed to be clear. Clean. A scene ends. You go home.
But this? This was more.
And it hurts like hell.
Summer brushes my hair back gently. "You love him."
"I don't know what I feel," I whisper. "But it's not casual. I don't think it ever was."
Gemma squeezes my hand. "You're not alone in this. We've got you. No matter what happens."
"I just... I wanted more. And now I don't even know if I'm allowed to want that."
"You are," Summer says. "And he wants more too. He told you he's going to fix it. That means something."
"I want to believe him. I do. But what if he can't? What if this is really the end?"
"Then we'll help you pick up the pieces," Gemma says. "But until then, hold on to hope."
We lay there in silence, the three of us tangled together like we're kids again. And for the first time since I walked out of Gage's room, I start to believe maybe, just maybe, I won't have to go through this heartbreak alone.
I cry myself to sleep that night in my friends’ arms.
Because I want him.
And I can't have him.
Not yet.
Maybe not ever.
And it hurts more than I thought it would.