Chapter 5
Aspen
The food bank and my service with the church were something I'd kept from my family. When I was younger, it was the one thing I did that my brothers didn't.
I loved it so much that I continued going whenever I could. I worried if I told anyone about it, they'd mention how I'd eventually lose interest. It was the one thing that no one could have an opinion on.
It was something I did that had nothing to do with my family. And I wasn't sure how I felt about them becoming part of it.
I'd gotten to the church early to help set up the tables. When the first volunteers arrived, I directed them where to stand. If my family came, they'd probably want to be together, maybe along the back wall.
A group of high schoolers arrived, and I asked if they could help patrons push their grocery carts and carry their bags to their cars.
Then I set up the younger kids, the ones in middle school, with an older volunteer to keep an eye on them. It was difficult to keep track of how many things each family could get, and an adult would be able to step in and assist when needed.
I was so busy directing everyone where to go and answering the questions of newer volunteers that I missed when Cooper walked in.
"Where should I go?" he asked, the rough timber of his voice doing something funny to my chest.
"You're here?" I looked around for the rest of my family, but they weren't here yet.
"I can go wherever you need me."
"How about the back wall? When my brothers show up, they can be next to you." I walked in that direction, showing him the paper products and telling him how much each patron could have.
"This seems easy enough."
"I'm surprised you came."
His brow furrowed. "Why wouldn't I?"
"You're always so busy working." And he didn't always like to do things in public with the family. He seemed to like to point out that he wasn't a Sterling. Often enough that I think it was a thing for him. As if he never wanted to let himself forget he wasn't one of us.
"I can make time for something like this. It's important."
My cheeks flushed. "Of course it is. But I didn't expect you to think that."
He frowned. "Why not?"
"I don't know." The reality was, I didn't know Cooper that well. Our barbs had created distance between us.
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do."
Properly chastened, I said, "Let me know if you have any questions. If you see Ron walking around, he'll go in the back and get things if you need to restock."
Cooper's gaze tracked me to the front of the room where I greeted a mother and two of her middle-school-aged daughters. I set them up near the canned goods and explained the process.
When I walked past Cooper, he snagged my wrist.
I couldn't say he'd ever made it a habit to touch me before, and before I could pull away, he ran his thumb over the pulse point on my wrist. "You need something?"
He nodded to one of the patrons who had a green circle sticker with a five on it. "Can you explain the stickers on their shirts?"
"The number represents how many people they're shopping for in their family. If they have multiple stickers, it means they are shopping for multiple families. You can use that information to gauge how much product they can take."
"Thanks." He inclined his head toward the front of the room. "Your family's here."
"They came?" I said incredulously.
"You thought they wouldn't?" Cooper asked.
"I wasn't sure."
Mom and Dad stood at the front of the room, looking a little lost.
He nudged me in their direction, his touch sending my heart racing again. "You'd better help them."
I moved toward the front of the room, swearing I could feel his gaze on my ass. But that would be ridiculous. He was my arch nemesis. The man I was forced to play nice with. Not a man I wanted to have looking at my body.
"Mom. Dad. You came." There was a part of me that preferred that this slice of my life was just for me. No other Sterlings had infiltrated it until now.
"We said we would, didn't we?" Mom asked, looking at Dad.
Dad rubbed his hands together. "Where do you want us?"
"Sign in, and write your name on a tag." I pointed at the lectern where the clipboard sat.
I stayed with them as they filled out their names and placed the name tag on their shirts. "Why don't you stand in the back by the potatoes?"
Dad waved for me to precede him. "We're following you."
When we passed Cooper, Dad stopped to shake his hand. "Good to see you here."
"They're doing good work," Cooper said as if he'd researched the church and the food bank before he came.
I wondered if he'd ever needed a food bank, and that was the reason why he came. I didn't remember seeing his family here when I was in school.
I explained what they'd need to do and then rushed to assist my brothers when they arrived. Everyone was here, including Ayla. She was excited to help, and I placed her with Cooper.
When Cooper raised a brow, I said, "You can help hand out paper towels and toilet paper."
Cooper leaned in to whisper, "Shouldn't she be with her mom and Hudson?"
"We usually put the younger kids in this section. Everything is prebagged, so it's easy and fun for them." I wanted to see how he'd interact with a child too. He was strung so tight; I wasn't sure he'd be able to relax.
All my brothers helped out with Ayla, but I'd never seen Cooper interact with her. In fact, if I was remembering correctly, he usually avoided her.
To my surprise, he said to her, "I'm going to need your help. There're so many stickers. It's all a jumble."
"Weren't you listening?" Ayla laughed and then told him everything I'd already explained to him.
He lifted his head and winked at me. He was playing dumb to make her feel important.
I let out a breath and moved away from their table. He wasn't supposed to be good with kids. I wanted a reason to continue to hate him after all this. But he came and was taking care of Ayla. It was getting harder to hold a grudge against him.
I'd have to avoid him for the rest of the morning.
I moved around the room, answering questions.
When it was time to start, Ron led us in a prayer, naming parishioners and volunteers who'd had surgeries this week.
I wasn't particularly religious, but I loved the community that they'd built here. And it had been mine before my family arrived. I just hoped it was something I could call my own after they left.
I didn't volunteer for recognition or respect. It was something I enjoyed, and I didn't want my participation dissected.
Would this change their mind about me? I told myself it didn't matter what they thought. But there was a little girl inside me who still needed their approval.
The line started moving, and then I was too busy to worry about it. I glanced over at Cooper every now and then. He opened boxes with his keys and helped Ayla restock. When I walked by, he encouraged Ayla to talk to a patron, and my heart skipped a beat.
He seemed like a good guy. His actions today didn't make the crush go away. In fact, they had the opposite effect. I was hyperaware of where he was in the room and swore I could feel his gaze following me.
I focused on ensuring the line was moving inside and out. Cars would park in the front spots. Then when those patrons were done shopping, we moved the next group into those spots. It was a busy three hours, and when the number of people arriving slowed, I helped put everything away.
I was surprised when my brothers and Cooper stuck around to help with the tables and chairs.
I walked outside with them. My family was so large; they formed a circle on the sidewalk.
Ford raised a brow. "It's cool that you do this."
I let out a breath. "I wasn't looking for brownie points."
He chuckled. "I suppose not. But it was fun. We'd like to come back."
Morgan smacked him in the chest. "He's probably too embarrassing to ask back. But I can come again."
I rolled my eyes at their antics. "You're all welcome to come back anytime you want."
"We're going to brunch. You coming?" Hudson pulled me in for a side hug.
"Sure." I wondered if Cooper was going too.
My brothers wandered to their trucks, leaving Cooper standing in front of me. "Did you have a good time?"
He rocked back on his heels. "I did, actually. Ayla kept me entertained."
I smiled. "I bet she did. Are you going to brunch?"
"Nah. Seems like a family thing."
I raised a brow. Usually, I didn't care. I preferred when he stayed away. But now it seemed selfish of me. "You know you're part of our family too."
"I know."
He wanted to remain a loner. The question was, why? "You should come."
"What if I have plans?"
My forehead wrinkled. "Are you going into work?"
"I should go in and get some things done."
"Well, thanks for coming." I turned to walk back inside to see if anyone needed anything, and he said, "I think it's cool you do this."
I looked at him over my shoulder. "I don't do this for any kind of accolades or recognition."
"That makes it more impressive." Then he turned and walked away.
I watched him go, wondering why I'd shared this part of myself with him.
Why did he avoid some of our family get-togethers? I had an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't welcoming. I'd always fought with him and given him a hard time.
I was jealous of him. He was one more brother to take attention away from me. My mother seemed to have a soft spot for him. He was a kid in need who didn't want anyone to treat him differently.
I hadn't realized it at the time, but I was getting that impression now. And it was changing everything about my perspective.
I met my family at a local restaurant for brunch and settled at the end of the table. It was loud and boisterous, but no one brought up my volunteer work again.
After we'd eaten and split the bill, I walked out with Mom and Dad.
"Why didn't you tell us about your work at the food bank?" Mom asked.
I shrugged. "I didn't think it mattered."
Mom's forehead wrinkled. "I think it does."
"It doesn't change anything. I still don't have a college degree or a career." Not something they could point to and say, See our daughter is going to be just fine.
"It seems like a large part of who you are, and you kept it a secret."
"We just wish you would have told us." Regret filled Dad's tone.
There was nothing I could do that wouldn't disappoint them. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
Mom nodded. "We'd like to come again."
"You can come anytime you want. I'm usually there."
Mom hugged me, and I smiled at Dad. They got in their truck and pulled away. I let out the breath I'd been holding. It wasn't as bad as I was thinking it would be. But my parents still weren't happy with me. I'd done something else that disappointed them.
I thought I'd stopped caring about their reaction, but it seemed like you never moved past that kind of thing with your parents.
Usually, I tried to be one of many. If they were focused on my brothers, they couldn't be worried about me. But now, all my brothers had steady businesses and were dating people; it was easier to focus on me.
I went home, feeling restless. I could pick up some assistant jobs at the Wilde Ski Resort. That was usually what I did when I was bored. But I didn't want to work.
I decided to text Cooper.
Aspen: You didn't have to come today to prove anything to me.
Cooper: Why would I do that?
Aspen: I don't know. You tell me.
It seemed like I was right back where I used to be with him. Angry and resentful. I knew what I was doing, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.
Cooper: I don't have to come again if you don't want me there.
Aspen: I didn't say that.
And now I was feeling guilty for lashing out at him because I was upset about my parents.
Cooper: How was brunch?
Aspen: Uneventful.
Which meant that no one had grilled me during the meal. My parents were disappointed in me. I hated it, but it seemed to be a default state of being when it came to me.
Why was I texting Cooper? We were enemies working together for a cause. I shouldn't be reaching out to him when I was upset.
The town's shop owners had formed their own friend group a while ago, and I wasn't really a part of it. Sometimes I felt like I was moving too fast to make real friends. People enjoyed my company, but it was rare for me to make plans with anyone.
My schedule made social time impossible. But maybe it was time to broaden my horizons. Because I couldn't be leaning on Cooper when my parents got to me. Besides, he thought my parents were great, presumably better than his.
Irritation burned in my gut, familiar and comforting. Being annoyed with Cooper was my default setting, and I wouldn't be changing that anytime soon.