Chapter 8
Cooper
"I can't believe she's going to quit." I cradled my bottle of beer at the bar.
Maverick raised his brows. "Is that what she said?"
"Basically. I trusted that this would work, and she let me down."
"How's this going to affect our contracts?" Hudson asked.
"I don't know." The pit in my stomach grew.
Thankfully, Ford couldn't come out tonight. I didn't want to put him in the middle, since he was married to Eve's sister, Natasha.
Morgan tipped his bottle back. "I hate to say this, but maybe it wasn't the best idea to work with our sister."
Was that fair? I didn't know Aspen that well. Maybe what everyone said about her was true.
"She's constantly changing her mind about things," Maverick agreed.
"She really wanted this job—" I began and then broke off.
"What happened?" Hudson asked.
"I expedited the estimates because of the short timeline, and then she never responded. I went to see her, and she said she hadn't seen the email. But it looked like she's been working long hours." I remembered there were multiple coffee cups on her desk, and to-go containers were scattered about.
"She's taking lead on all of the town events and the renovations. It's a lot," Maverick said.
I ran a hand through my hair. "We have to get the bathrooms done before the winter ball."
"That doesn't give us much time," Morgan said.
"That's why I don't understand why it wasn't a priority for her."
Maverick sighed, and everyone looked at him. "I'm not sure if I should say anything, but I think she has trouble organizing things. She misses things, gets distracted."
"Don't we all?" Hudson asked lightly.
"She really struggled in school, and I overheard Mom and Dad talking about ADHD once. But Aspen didn't want the diagnosis, meds, or any help. I always wondered if she felt dumb because school was harder for her."
Hudson shook his head. "That's probably why she dropped out of college."
"That's nothing to be ashamed of." But was she any different from me? I was ashamed of my family.
"I think she wanted to be the same as everyone else. She didn't want Mom and Dad to see her as different. You know she was always trying to keep up with us."
I didn't add anything because this was a family thing, and I was the outsider. I wasn't super familiar with ADHD, but I supposed that could be the issue. If she had a lot of tasks, she might not know which one to focus on first. Or she might miss something. Maybe I was too hard on her.
Maverick rolled his shoulders back. "I'm not saying that's what happened here, but it might be why she doesn't take jobs with a ton of tasks and responsibilities."
"Didn't everyone assume she was irresponsible?” I asked.
"I think Mom and Dad were frustrated that she never sought help. Not that they were frustrated with who she was," Maverick said carefully.
"I mean, that makes sense. It fits with everything we've seen over the years,” Hudson said.
I let out a breath. "But what does it mean for the town, for our contract? Will Eve be able to pick up where she left off?"
"I'd give Aspen a few days and then reach out to her. Maybe she was feeling overwhelmed when you confronted her," Maverick said.
"I don't know." I was worried that I was going to screw up this project, and then we'd lose the contract.
The Sterlings were depending on me. I couldn't let them down.
I didn't have a fall-back plan. If the business failed, I'd be working for someone else again.
And I was really enjoying being my own boss.
"I wouldn't worry about it just yet," Maverick said.
That was easy for him to say. His job wasn't on the line. All of them had solo businesses they'd built before we went into business together. "I was born worrying about everything."
Hudson gave me a look. "You got something you want to tell us?"
I took a swig of my beer, wishing I hadn't said anything at all. "Nope."
Morgan shoulder bumped me. "Didn't your last girl say that you were closed off? Maybe if you confided in us first—"
"Don't all girls say that?" I quipped.
The guys fell silent.
"Well, don't they?" I thought that was a common complaint from women. They wanted to talk about their feelings, and they wanted a commitment. But most guys weren't excited about sharing their emotions. I wasn't that different from everyone else.
Hudson gave me a look. "No one has ever told me that."
"I haven't dated anyone long enough before Belle to hear that from anyone," Maverick joked, and everyone laughed.
"It's just the women I've dated then," I said.
Morgan pointed at me. "Maybe the problem is you."
I took another swig of beer, wishing I was having this revelation at home where I could think about it when I was alone. But in front of the guys, I had to appear to be unaffected. "I'm not interested in settling down anyway."
The guys exchanged looks, and Maverick started talking about an upcoming character night at Belle's Bookshop.
Hudson leaned in and said, "You might want to work on that now though."
"Work on what exactly?" I asked.
"Talking about your feelings. The best part of being in a relationship is being vulnerable with someone."
My stomach twisted at the idea. "Yeah, no thank you."
His brow furrowed. "What happened to make you so closed off?"
I bristled because I'd heard that more times than I could count. "My parents didn't exactly have the best relationship."
"Your father was around though?" Hudson asked.
"When he needed something, and if he didn't get it, he stole it." There had been a lot of late-night fighting, and I tried to shield Emery from it. Whenever, a memory surfaced from when we were kids, I felt ashamed. I didn't want to share that with anyone, much less the Sterlings.
Morgan gave me a sympathetic look. "That's messed up. I had no idea."
"I've never talked about it before," I said, feeling uncomfortable.
"I appreciate you sharing that with me."
I nodded, not liking how I felt after sharing, more vulnerable than ever. The familiar shame crept in. "It was nothing like your house."
"I figured that. Why else would you hang out with these idiots?" Hudson teased.
"You fought, but you also joked around. You loved each other." That much was apparent.
"You are part of our family too. I know you try and keep yourself separate from us, but you don't have to."
"I appreciate that." But I couldn't help it. I learned a long time ago not to get too close to anyone. And sharing my past was a step too far. I already felt unsettled from sharing what little I had.
"I hope you know that we don't think less of you because your home life was shit," Hudson said.
"I love my mom and my sister. I just wish my mom would have cut my dad off. She let him keep coming back. That was the hardest part. I kept hoping for something different, and they always let me down." Shit. Where had that come from?
"You were a kid. You wanted a dad who was there for you, provided for you."
I swallowed over the lump in my throat. "Your dad is great, you know."
"I know," Hudson said quietly. "And I hope I'm a good dad to Ayla. I try to be."
"You are, and you're going to be a great father to the newest Sterling too."
He smiled with pride. "Sometimes, I can't believe I have a family. A year ago, I was single and happy to be that way. Then I rescued Angela from the flood, and my world opened up. I love both of them. So much."
There was something about the open affection in his voice.
It affected me. For a second, I wanted what he had.
A woman to love. A child to care for. But I'd vowed that I wouldn't subject anyone to what I'd gone through.
Who's to say I wouldn't be the same kind of dad as mine?
I shared his DNA. But I didn't share those fears with Hudson. He couldn't possibly understand.
I allowed myself to imagine coming home to a woman, and Aspen's face popped into my head.
She'd greet me at the door with a hug and a kiss, then lead me into the kitchen for dinner.
Or maybe she'd take me upstairs to bed. My heart warmed, and my chest cracked open a little to the possibility.
I couldn't let myself want what Hudson had.
We were too different. He knew what a relationship should look like, whereas I only had a dysfunctional example.
"I'm looking out for Emery. I don't want my dad to hassle her once he finds out she's in college."
He raised a brow. "He'd do that?"
"He always seemed to know when we had a little extra money. He'd show up and demand we give it to him." I felt hollowed out from this conversation. This feeling was why I avoided sharing these kinds of details with anyone.
"I'm sorry you went through that."
I shrugged. "It's fine."
"It's not though. It clearly shaped who you are today."
I blanched at that characterization. "How so?"
"You're more reserved, less trusting of people. You worry if you open up to anyone, they'll use that information against you."
I gave him a look. "How'd you get that?"
He sipped his beer and thought before he spoke. "I don't know for sure. I just suspect that's the case. What do you think?"
"You might be right." But at the same time, I didn't want to think about the whys. What did it matter anyway? I kept myself apart from most people so I wouldn't inflict my particular brand of dysfunction on anyone else.
"And it might be holding you back from connecting with people. Especially if women say you're unreachable."
"I'm not particularly interested in dating anyway," I insisted.
"You might change your mind one day."
"I highly doubt that," I said, even as Aspen's pained expression in her office today popped into my head. She had been upset, and I'd accused her of intentionally sabotaging our arrangement. But what if she was doing the best she could and missed my email? Was I being fair to her?
"You got any new projects for us, Cooper?" Morgan asked, bringing me back to work.
"There's a historic inn and winery located at the base of the mountain called the Hart Inn. They offer hiking and event rentals, like for weddings and conferences. They even have a restaurant on site. They reached out to see if we could update the inn."
"You want me to handle it?" Morgan asked.
"No. I got it." I needed a diversion, something to keep my mind off of Aspen.
"I love that you handle the administrative side of things, but if you ever need help—" Morgan said.
I had no plans of burdening the Sterlings with my job responsibilities. I was so grateful to have this job; I'd do whatever it took to prove I could do it. Even if it meant long hours. What else did I have to do anyway?
I wasn't a good boyfriend, and Emery was away at school, so there was no family here for me to worry about, except my mother. I liked to check in to ensure she had enough money for utilities and food in her fridge.
"It would be nice to have another large contract. It's not a town, but they have a lot going on at this property: tours, weddings, and tastings. From what I understand, there are other historic buildings on site that they might want to develop for the business."
Morgan shifted on his stool. "You think this could be like the town contract? They might need us for ongoing work?"
"I do." When I got the call, I was immediately intrigued. It wasn't a business I was familiar with, but then again, I wasn't one to go to a vineyard or stay at an inn for a romantic getaway. I didn't have time to go hiking or explore the various adventures in the area.
"What's the name of it again?" Maverick asked.
"Hart Inn. The website says it's a family-owned establishment.
But it wasn't always an inn. Originally, it was just a mansion that the family resided in.
They don't just cater to the inn's guests.
Hikers are welcome to stop by their gift shop and eat at the restaurant.
So it's not fancy. It's more of a casual dining experience," I said from memory.
"You've done your research," Maverick observed.
"I'm ready for a new challenge." I needed something to focus on besides Aspen, and I always lost myself in a new project. "But it's not ours yet."
Maverick set his phone aside. "I'm confident you'll land the contract if it's a good one."
It was nice that they had faith in me, but sometimes I wondered where it came from. Was it just easier to let someone else handle the business side of things, or did they really believe in my abilities? "It's just an initial consultation."
Morgan touched my shoulder. "I'm confident you'll get it."
It felt good that they believed in me, even though their trust was misguided. They didn't really know me. How could they when I'd hidden so much of myself from them?
I had no interest in enlightening them now. What good would it do to tell Hudson? It would only make them doubt me and my abilities. It was best to keep that locked up tight.
The inn was a new potential project, and it would be good to get my mind off Aspen.
I hoped Aspen didn't quit. Which was ridiculous.
We weren't friends. If she wanted to blow up her life, it was her decision.
But I was worried about her, and that was dangerous.
My family had been a big source of my discontent growing up, and it was better not to get close to people.
Those kinds of connections tended to wrap their tentacles around every avenue of life and squeeze at the worst times.
We finished our beers, talking about work. I promised to keep them advised about the new inn.
When I got home, I debated reaching out to Aspen but decided against it. Maverick knew her better and said to give her some time. I just hoped she didn't wait too long. We had to get started on this project soon.