Chapter 10
Cooper
I jogged down the stairs, my hands shaking. I'd just fucked Aspen Sterling. The youngest daughter of the family that had included me as one of them.
There was no excuse for what happened in her office. I hadn't intended to do anything but talk to her.
But instead, she'd come around the desk, lifted that stubborn chin, and crossed her arms over her chest, pushing up her breasts. It was all I could to do to remember why I was supposed to be there.
How she'd looked so devastated the last time I was in her office. The guilt and shame I felt for making her feel that way. How I wanted to kiss that stubborn expression off her face.
I admired her and wanted to claim her at the same time. I'd never felt anything like this before. She brought out desires in me that I didn't know were possible.
I wanted to possess her.
I opened the door to the outside, reveling in the gust of wind that struck me in the face. I hadn't bothered with a jacket when I decided to run over here after getting her email.
I'd wanted to know if she'd changed her mind. Instead, I'd taken advantage of her.
I ran a hand through my hair, striding toward my truck.
My phone buzzed when I reached the driver's side, and I pulled it out, hoping it was Aspen.
But how could it be when I'd left her naked on her desk and freshly fucked?
I couldn't look at her before I walked out because I knew I'd want her all over again.
And I needed time to figure out what the hell happened before I made another move.
Maverick: Are you up for a drink?
Maverick and Morgan went out occasionally, less so now that they were with significant others. We worked in town, and it was easy to run over to the bar most nights. But not today. I probably smelled like sex.
But I hadn't tasted her or even fingered her pussy. I'd sucked on her nipples, then slid home as if I were a teenager who didn't know how to pleasure a woman. I was lucky that she'd had an orgasm.
The second the idea had flown into my head, I was moving, kissing, and touching her. Needing her to remove her clothes so that I could slide inside her. And it had been amazing. Unlike anything I'd ever felt before.
Cooper: I'm heading home.
I should have been tired. But I was amped up. High on Aspen.
I slid into the driver's side of my truck and turned on the engine. The light was still on in Aspen's office. What was she thinking? That I was a jerk for walking out after sex?
I hadn't even been able to look at her or assure her that it wasn't a one-time thing. Because I couldn't make promises that I wasn't sure I could keep.
I pulled away from the curb, the guilt creeping in. I'd slept with my friends' and business partners' younger sister. I was supposed to look out for her, protect her, not take advantage of her.
I'd slept with her. On the desk in her office, no less. How was I ever going to be able to look any of the Sterlings in the eye again?
It was a huge error in judgment, one I couldn't repeat.
I hoped Aspen understood that it couldn't happen again. It didn't matter how good the sex was or what I was starting to feel for her. We couldn't be together.
Her brothers would never forgive me, and it would ruin our working relationship. They'd be right to fire me. I'd lose everything. My reputation, the family that took me in when I didn't have anything. The job that made me feel like I was finally someone. That I made a difference.
I'd go back to working for someone else, a family company that would only promote from within. I'd probably have to sell the house I'd recently bought because I wouldn't be making nearly the same salary. The guilt formed a pit in my stomach, refusing to dissipate.
At home, I needed to do something with the excess energy, so I changed into workout clothes and went to the garage where I kept the heavy bag.
I let my fists fly, pounding the bag. I got into a rhythm; the sting on my knuckles was punishment for the lapse in judgment.
I finally took a break, wiping the sweat from my face and downing a bottle of water. How could I work with Aspen and not want her?
It felt physically painful to walk away from her. Everything inside me was telling me to go to her, to hold her in my arms, to tell her that I wanted more. But I'd resisted. And now I was trying to work the desire out of my body.
It wasn't working. Being with her once only made me want her more.
I wanted an entire night to explore her body, to figure out what she liked, to memorize every one of her sighs and whimpers.
This thing with Aspen felt different. Unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.
But I hadn't told her the truth about my family, and she was off-limits.
There was no way I could pursue anything with her. Not if I wanted to keep my relationship with the Sterlings.
I got in the shower to wash off the sweat and the smell of sex. I needed to get Aspen's sweet scent out of my nose. She was driving me crazy.
I hoped the workout would help me fall asleep, but I was awake for hours, running the events of the night through my head.
I couldn't go back and change it, and I wasn't sure I would even if I could. Being with Aspen Sterling was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I couldn't repeat it.
Not unless I wanted to sever ties with the Sterling family and the business. It was an impossible situation, and I wasn't sure I could resist her pull.
I punched my pillow in an effort to make it fluff and rolled onto my side. Sleep was going to be impossible.
The next day, I woke up after a few hours of restless sleep and got ready for work. The timeline was short for the bathroom project, and I couldn't let the town down.
If I buried myself in work, I wouldn't think about how I'd slept with Aspen Sterling in her office last night.
I scheduled the crews and got one to meet me on location to start the demolition. The ballroom didn't have any events for the next few weeks, so we were free to start.
There was nothing I loved more than demolition work when I needed to forget something or punish myself. It was hard, grueling work, and I was all for it.
I wanted to forget Aspen's name, and the memory of being inside of her.
At the end of the day, I sent the crew home, but I kept working. There was something about the swing of the sledgehammer and hauling the porcelain and tile away that was satisfying. The room was clearing, even if my brain was a mess.
"What are you doing?" Morgan asked.
I wiped the sweat from my brow. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
I felt like a surly teenager, just daring someone to say anything so I could lash out.
"Why are you working without a crew? You could get hurt. You know that goes against our protocols."
"I wrote the protocols." That didn't mean I had to follow him.
"You're entitled to be an idiot. But what if you get hurt, and there's no one here to help you?"
"You're here," I said simply.
He shook his head. "You know what I mean."
"Why are you here?" It was rare for one of the brothers to check on me. They only came around if they needed something, and we saw each other so often around town; a text usually sufficed.
"You didn't come out with us last night."
"Is that a crime?"
His eyes widened at my sharp tone. "Did something happen?"
"Nope." There was no way I was going to tell him about how I had sex with his sister.
"You need help with this project?" he asked.
"I've got it." I didn't need the brothers hanging around and figuring out what happened. I hoped to get my head on straight before I was forced to be around everyone.
He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then what is it? Your family? Work? A woman?"
I blanched at the mention of a woman. "My mom and Emery are fine. Work is great."
"So it's a woman?"
I scoffed. "When would I have time to find a woman? I work or go to the bar with you idiots."
He scrutinized me. "What did you do last night?”
"I went home to hit the bag." I pulled off my gloves so he could see my torn-up knuckles. I hadn't bothered to wear boxing gloves last night. I wanted to feel the pain.
I could tell Morgan wanted to say something, but he didn't. "If it is a woman, I can understand that you'd want to keep it quiet for a while."
I let out a breath. "It's not a woman. I have no intentions of meeting anyone or settling down."
He raised a brow. "Don't knock it until you've tried it."
I huffed out a laugh. "I'm not boyfriend material. Trust me."
He tipped his head to the side. "Why's that?"
I gave him a look. "You know why. The same reason why I hid out at your family's house. Mine wasn't great."
"You've never said why though."
At least Hudson hadn't told him. "I don't want to talk about it."
He shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "I'm not saying you have to, just wondering what's going on with you and if I could help."
He wanted to help me when I'd fucked his sister last night. If he had that little tidbit of news, he wouldn't want anything to do with me. And I couldn't accept his help now. "I'm fine."
He raised a brow. "Why don't I believe that?"
"We're under a tight deadline with this bathroom. Just trying to get it done."
"Okay. But you'd tell me if it was your family or a health issue?" he asked, his forehead wrinkled.
I nodded. "Sure."
His expression was doubtful. "You don't talk to us about anything personal."
I gave him a look. "I told you that Tess said I was closed off."
He nodded. "That was something. But not much."
"Do I have to share?" I asked him, seriously reconsidering our friendship. I could be there for them when they were going through trouble with women. But I didn't want them to return the favor.
"I just want you to know that we're here for you, whatever you need. You don't have to keep everything bottled up inside."
"Okay," I said.
He sighed. "Once Hudson's new baby is here, he'll probably want some time off."
"One more reason to work harder."
He winced. "I didn't mean to put more pressure on you."
"I told you; I'm fine. I can handle the pressure. It's why you hired me."
"Yeah, but now I'm wondering if you just bury everything so deep that you can't get to it. But eventually, it's going to implode."
I gave him a dubious look. "I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either."
He sighed. "All I'm trying to say is that I'm here if you need to talk to someone. Heck, all of us are."
"You guys were idiots when you were having girl trouble. You were stuck in the friend zone with Reina when you insisted she move in with you after the fire."
He chuckled. "You might be right about that. But I have more experience now. I might be able to offer some advice."
"And you're saying if I want to be with a woman, I should talk about my emotions."
He nodded. "Probably, yeah."
But Aspen wasn't the girl for me. She deserved someone who got all her quirks. Who saw how amazing she was.
When the voice inside my head told me that person was me, I dismissed it.
I wasn't the right guy for anyone. The example I had growing up was a gross misrepresentation of a healthy relationship.
I didn't want to be like my dad, but how could I not be?
I was emotionally stunted, and there was no fixing that.
Even if I was open to changing, I couldn't be with Aspen. Reason number one was standing in front of me, acting like he cared about my mental health. And I'd betrayed his trust.
I had to avoid Aspen. Now that we'd agreed on the work to be done, there was no reason for us to talk. I'd get it done and stay away from her.
She was busy with the holiday events in town anyway. Our paths wouldn't cross. Not if I could help it.