Chapter Thirty-Three
Maya
Ryan gets dressed as daylight starts to fade, and we both climb into his car. I have so many questions and no idea where to start.
“The dogs are at the kennel for the next two nights. How about we head to my place and talk?” Ryan asks before starting the engine. I give him what I hope is a soft smile and nod. “I just need to let Sofia know first.”
His eyes glaze over, a milky opaque layer rolling in like a fog. A few seconds later, he blinks, and his eyes return to normal. “All good,” he says with a smile.
“Maybe start by explaining whatever that was.”
“Shit, sorry. Wolves in a pack can communicate through a mindlink. It’s sort of like sending a direct message to the other wolf’s head. As long as they are open to receiving it and within a reasonable distance, they will hear it.”
I stare at him as he explains the limitations of mindlinking and how he has missed it while being in the city and out of range. Like this is just a regular occurrence. As if he’s not just casually mentioning something that could only be explained through magic.
“Can all shifters do that?”
“I’m not sure,” he replies, cocking his head to the side. The gesture is so like what my dogs do when I’m talking to them that I’m starting to question how I didn’t see it before. And then it hits me—Ryan was the wolf outside Steven’s place. Was that why I wasn’t scared?
“Not all shifters live in packs; some are more solitary creatures,” he continues, pulling my attention back to him.
“We can go talk to Doc tomorrow if you want? He knows more about this stuff. And I can reach out to the council—they’re like the wolf governing body.
They might be able to put us in touch with other cats. ”
A buzz of excitement takes flight in my stomach, but I’m afraid to let myself believe it. Afraid to even start asking questions about me. About where I came from. But I can ask general questions. I can build up to it. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing the anxiety away.
Breathe in for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
Out for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
And then Ryan takes my hand, and I no longer need my affirmations or breathing techniques.
My skin tingles under his touch, and a warmth spreads through me, replacing the anxiety.
It’s more effective than the SSRIs I have been on for half my life, the benzodiazepine I was taking regularly at the beginning, the years of therapy, the compulsive behaviors, the running, all of it.
It always felt like a constant battle against myself to try to keep in control.
But Ryan’s touch soothes me more than any of it. And after so many years of being independent, of working so hard to cope with everything, I don’t know how to feel about all the difficulties in my life essentially being solved by literal magic. It all seems too good to be true.
“I know it’s a lot to take in. But I’ll be there every step of the way, and we’ll go at your pace.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. Electricity radiates up my arm, swirling and soothing as it goes, until it settles in my chest, and I’m warmer all over.
He parks up near a large building that he explains is the pack house.
It’s where he used to work from before leaving to meet me, and where unmated wolves who don’t want to stay in their family homes live.
Ryan tells me about being the pack alpha, that the role passed to him when his mom rejected his dad, and he passed it to Sofia to spend time getting to know me once he realized we could be fated mates.
He reaches for my hand, his warm fingers interlacing with mine, and leads me away from the building, deeper into the woods.
It’s so peaceful here. The only sounds are those of nature: the gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze, the distant call of a bird, and the quiet crunch of our footsteps on the recently fallen leaves littering the forest floor.
Trails through the woods show pathways where pack members have walked repeatedly. I wonder which form they use most often. We don’t encounter anyone else, though. Is that by design? Did he mindlink everyone to stay away?
Who am I kidding? From what I know of him and how protective and obsessive he has shown himself to be, he most definitely told everyone to stay away.
I consider how hard it must have been for him to be away from this place. Away from his friends and family, his home life, and nature. He left it behind for me. Because he apparently knew after a couple of sessions that I was the one for him.
It’s so difficult to accept what he is telling me as the truth. If a patient told me that their new boyfriend had professed love and was talking about forever within a couple of hours of their first encounter, I would counsel them about love bombing and explore their needs and attachment style.
I don’t need to do that for myself, though; I’ve already done that work. I’ve processed the mixture of gratitude toward my parents for loving me so much and the profound sense of loss from being abandoned by my birth parents that only got worse as time went on.
It’s a peculiar dichotomy where I know in my bones that I am loved and wanted, but that longing for understanding where I came from never disappeared. It only got worse when I learned what I am. When I started having the kind of questions no one could answer.
I’m an intelligent woman. I have a PhD, for God’s sake. I have spent years working on how to understand people. But Ryan Rivera makes me question everything I thought I knew. He’s a walking red flag of promises, fantasies, and manipulation.
But it’s hard not to believe what he tells me when I can feel it too. When there are sparks radiating up my arm from him holding my hand, and when his touch is the only thing that seems real, the only thing that has ever anchored me in this whirlwind of doubt and uncertainty.
We walk toward a timber two-story cabin. “Welcome home,” Ryan says, his voice a gravelly rasp that sends shivers down my spine. He opens the unlocked door and extends an arm to indicate for me to walk in.
I don’t accept the invitation.
Seconds tick by as he stares at me, waiting for me to move. “Tell me what you need, Kitten.”
I’m mulling over my answer when a squeal pierces the air behind me.
Ryan lets out a groan as I spin around to see a ridiculously attractive couple making their way toward us.
I assume the woman is Sofia Rivera because the similarities to Ryan are clear.
She has the same copper skin, warm brown eyes, and brown curly hair, though hers is significantly wilder.
The man is Caucasian with black hair and piercing blue eyes.
“Maya,” Ryan starts, and I can tell he’s not impressed by the interruption, “this is my sister, Sofia, and her mate, Luca.”
“You’re so welcome to Lunar Eclipse,” Sofia says, beaming at me. She’s practically vibrating with excitement. “As Alpha, I wanted to come over and say that officially.” Her eyes sparkle with glee, and she is such a little sister that I immediately warm to her as a fellow younger sister.
“But on a serious note, I wanted to thank you,” she continues. “What you did for Emily and now Ryan… Maya, I will be forever in your debt, and I can’t wait to get to know you.”
I smile at her, my eyes softening. “I’d really like to get to know you too.” I glance at Ryan, who stands beside me. His face is impassive, but his jaw is tight. “Actually, I think some girl time would help me wrap my head around all of, well, everything.”
Sofia narrows her eyes at Ryan before turning back to me and smiling again. “Now, or we can do breakfast?”
I look to Ryan and squeeze his hand before answering. I need to get the full picture, and that doesn’t feel possible with him after all the deception up to this point. Not when my body is so drawn to him that I can’t think straight because all I want is to climb him like a damn tree.
“This is what I need. Some outside perspective and space to process.”
“Of course, anything,” Ryan answers immediately.
Even though his shoulders have slumped and I can see it’s the last thing he wants, he understands I need some space from him to process.
“And I officially give you permission to talk about me in whatever way you need to. I know you’re not supposed to talk about your patients, even after you dump them for being obsessed with you.
But I don’t see you as my therapist. That’s just how we met to me. ”
I nod once as his words settle over me. I’m so relieved that I can speak openly about him. “Thank you.”
“And please don’t go too far. My wolf—”
“We won’t,” Sofia chimes in, interrupting him before grabbing my hand and pulling me away.
Ryan looks crestfallen when I glance back at him, his body hunched forward and his eyebrows scrunched up, but he doesn’t try to stop us.
And maybe that’s what I actually need. For him to prove that he isn’t going to try to control my day-to-day life.
I want a Dom when it comes to sex, but I haven’t signed up for a total power exchange dynamic.
I need him to trust me to make my own decisions.
“Thank you,” I say to Sofia as we step further into the forest. “I really—”
Sofia silences me by placing a finger over her mouth, her eyes wide with an unspoken urgency. I'm completely bewildered, the sudden gesture jarring against the conversation we were just having. Didn't she just agree to talk to me about this?
“Annnd we’re out of earshot,” she says after walking further away from Ryan. “Didn’t want you to say anything too soon and risk being overheard.”
“Really? They could still hear until now?”
“Of course, if they wanted to use their shifter hearing,” Sofia affirms, cocking an eyebrow at me. “Don’t you do that too? And what are you anyway? I know you aren’t a wolf, but I’m not familiar enough with other species to detect. Ryan has been pretty evasive about you.”