32. Cassian
Cassian
“What the fuck is going on?”
I drop my hands from Vivienne’s body as if they’ve been burned. Bash is glaring at me from the middle of the barn, and I’ve never seen this much anger in his eyes before, not even when someone keyed his car.
“Nothing, mate,” I say, raising my palms. “Just got carried away.”
What the fuck possessed me to kiss Viv like that?
Forget about the fact that it was the best kiss of my life—it never should’ve happened.
I’ve known how she feels for years. Her engagement to Landon was a surprise, but I always knew she’d end up with someone like him eventually.
I just didn’t know it would be this hard.
“Carried away?” Bash roars, and charges me. The stable gate is between us, but he swings it open all the way and grabs my arm. “You wanna get carried away, you do it with someone else. Literally anyone else.”
I knock his hand off. “Look, I’m sorry that you had to see that, but what we do isn’t any of your business.”
“The hell it’s not.” He pulls back his fist, but I duck before he can slam it into my face.
“Bash, stop it,” Viv screams, lunging for his arm.
He doesn’t even spare her a glance, just shrugs her off like a rag doll. I’m too focused on making sure she isn’t injured to realize he’s throwing another punch, and he nails me in the eye.
Pain shoots through my face, and spots dance across my vision for a few seconds. My hands clench into fists. I badly want to hit him back, but I’m the one who screwed up. I never should’ve kissed Viv.
“What more do you want from me?” I say, resting my hands on my knees as I catch my breath. “I said I was sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t going to cut it,” Bash says. “I’m going to wipe the ground with your rotten a—”
“Bash!” Viv yells. “Don’t do this. You’re being ridiculous.”
For a second, it looks like he’s considering dropping it, but resolve hardens his eyes, and he pulls his arm back again. I sidestep him, which only angers him further. Maybe I should let him pummel me into the ground and get it over with.
“That’s my sister!” He aims for my ribs, and I block him with my hand. Bash works out as often as I do, but he rarely fights, so any strength advantage he has over me, I make up for in speed.
“I’m well the fuck aware, mate.” I can’t blame him for lashing out. I’d do the same thing if I had a sister and a scumbag made a move on her. The realization that I do have a sister hits me at the same moment Bash’s fist connects with my jaw.
“Cassian!” Viv is at my side in an instant, but I try to push her away before she can catch one of her brother’s rogue fists. He’s not thinking clearly right now, and I’m not about to put her in harm’s way.
“Stay back,” I tell her quietly. “You could get hurt.”
“She’s engaged, you dipshit,” Bash bellows, fury in his eyes.
“You think I don’t know that?” I say.
He raises his fists again. “You just had your tongue down her throat.”
I laugh and shake my head, which is stupid, because if he thinks I’m laughing at him, he’ll only charge me again.
“Like you wouldn’t do the same thing.” I don’t know why I feel like poking the bear.
Maybe because my best friend is implying I’m not good enough to kiss his sister, but he’s perfectly fine with a prick like Landon Davenport marrying her.
“I told you to look out for her, not take advantage of her, you bastard.” Bash lunges at me, and it takes all I’ve got to keep him from smashing me against the wall.
Viv tries uselessly to pull him off me. I’m not sure he even notices she’s there, which only scares me more. If he’s not careful, he’s going to hurt her, and then I’ll be the one beating the shit out of him.
“It didn’t mean anything, Bash,” she cries.
Her words suck away all the strength I’ve been using to hold him back, giving him the advantage. He uses it to shove me into the corner of the stall.
Of course it didn’t mean anything. Nothing more than a tiny act of rebellion on her part, an attempt to prove to both of us that she isn’t what we both know she is: controlled by the opinions of others. Even now, she doesn’t want her brother to think she’d ever be attracted to the likes of me.
I always knew it would come to this, that she’d eventually choose them over me.
Bash’s arm presses against my throat and partially blocks my airflow. I dig my nails into his skin, but they’re too short to do much damage, and he doesn’t loosen his grip. I wrestle back, but he’s too close for me to get much momentum or leverage.
Viv yanks on him again, jerking his shoulder down, but it doesn’t relieve the pressure on my throat. “Let him go,” she says, panic lacing her voice. She’s genuinely worried that he’s going to hurt me, and I’m not sure if I’m touched by her concern or annoyed that she doesn’t think I can handle him.
“Viv, go to the house,” Bash says, eyes still pinned on me.
“No.” She gives up fighting him and folds her arms over her chest.
He jerks his head around. “I said go!”
“I’m not leaving so that you can break his nose.”
“Then I’ll carry you to the house myself,” he snaps.
“He didn’t do anything,” she says.
“He was seconds away from ripping your clothes off. You call that not doing anything?”
Viv flushes a deep pink. I know Bash, and this is only going to get worse.
“Maybe you should go, Viv,” I say, catching her eye.
The look she gives me is one of betrayal, and the way she stomps out of the barn tells me she’s no longer only mad at her brother.
Once she’s gone, the fight seems to drain out of Bash, and he drops his arm. After a few more seconds, he backs up, letting me straighten to my full height.
“I knew there was something going on between you two at dinner the other night,” Bash says, shoving hard against my shoulder.
“What are you talking about?” I wipe the blood from my lip with the hem of my T-shirt.
“You guys had that secret signal shit going on, but when I asked Viv about it, she said it was nothing. I never should’ve believed her.” He turns and spits in the hay.
This whole time, Rhya has ignored us, but now that it’s over, she blows air through her nose at Bash. I bite back a smile. At least someone’s on my side.
“Well, she was right,” I say. “It was nothing.” If Viv wants him to think there’s nothing between us, I’ll play along.
“It didn’t look like nothing,” Bash says.
“It was the only time, don’t worry.” He doesn’t know about the hospital, and he’s not going to find out. That was three years ago. It’s ancient history.
“And it’s going to be the only time.” He shoves his finger in my face. “Is that clear?”
I smack his hand away and push myself off the wall. “Yeah, mate. You’ve made it perfectly clear you don’t think I’m good enough for her.”
Instead of following me out of the stall, he just stands there. Blaze is still in the center aisle, brushing noses with one of the mares. I open his stall for him.
“For the record, I don’t think anyone’s good enough for her,” Bash calls.
“Yeah? So you knocked Landon around too?” I start brushing Blaze’s coat.
The barn is silent for a few moments, and just when I’m starting to wonder if he’s left, he says, “No.”
I stop brushing and let my hands rest against the horse’s warm body. “You’ve never thought I was good enough for her.”
“That’s bullshit, man.” Bash appears in front of Blaze’s stall. “You’re my best friend.”
I cock a brow. “You’ve got a shitty way of showing it.”
“Keep your hands off my sister, and we’ll be all good.”
I wonder what he’d do if he knew how I really felt. “Is he good to her?” I ask quietly, keeping my eyes on my task.
Bash’s eyes bore into the back of my skull, but I don’t turn around. “That’s the second time you’ve asked me that. Are you sure there’s nothing going on?” he says.
“Yes, I’m sure. But I still want her to be with someone who treats her right.”
He doesn’t say anything for a bit—unusual for him. “Yeah, I think so,” he finally tells me.
“Good. She deserves that.” She deserves the whole universe, and Landon’s much more equipped to give it to her than I am.
Bash slaps the gate. “I’m going to head in and make sure Briar settled in okay. You coming?”
“I’m going to groom this guy first.” Viv never finished with Rhya either, so I should do that too. And the barn could probably use a good mopping. There’s enough work out here to keep me busy for the next six hours, or however long it takes everyone to go to bed.
“You know we have people for that, right?”
“I need to clear my head anyway,” I say. Possibly get a lobotomy, because what the fuck am I even doing? I’m not sure I could dig myself into a deeper hole if I tried.
“Come on, mate. I swear I won’t hit you again.”
I exhale heavily. Going inside means seeing Viv, and I’m not sure I can handle the pity in her eyes.
“We brought pizza.” He says it as if he’s trying to bribe a toddler.
“I’m not hungry,” I say. “You all go on without me.”
“That’s not going to fly with the girls, and you know it. So get your ass inside; you owe me. And put some ice on that eye,” Bash calls as he heads to the door. “Some fucker’s got a hell of a right hook.”