38. Vivienne
Vivienne
When I walk into the kitchen the next morning, I half expect Cass to already be here, latte in hand, but he’s not, which is probably a good thing. I’m still reeling from his confession last night, even though it doesn’t change anything, since he won’t even give us a chance.
My body still tingles whenever I recall what he said.
Once I touch you, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop.
A shiver passes through me as I reach for one of the blueberry muffins on the counter. I wish to god he would’ve touched me anyway, branded me with his mouth, because maybe it would have eased the ache in my chest.
I’m polishing off the last bite of my muffin when Bash walks into the room, followed by . . . my fiancé. I straighten in shock, knocking my hip against the countertop in the process. “Landon,” I say, throwing the wrapper in the trash and dusting crumbs from my mouth. “This is a surprise.”
He moves toward me, arms outstretched. “I missed you, and when Bash said you could use help with the wedding, I came as soon as I could.” He pulls me into a hug. I remind my body to soften from its boardlike stance.
Over Landon’s shoulder, I pin my brother with a cold stare. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his joggers and leans against the doorjamb, not even bothering to avoid my eyes.
Landon releases me and smiles. “It’s so good to see you.”
I want to tell him that he can quit pretending, that Bash knows all about our arrangement, but I don’t bother. This is just who Landon is.
“How long are you staying?” I move to the Keurig and press the buttons to brew a cup.
“I’m yours for the whole week.”
Giving him a strained smile, I take a sip of coffee. Terrific. Just my idea of the perfect week. Me, Cass, and my fiancé, all sharing a house together. “Yay,” I say weakly.
Landon claps his hands together. “I’ll just go put my bags in your room, unless there’s staff here to do it?”
“No, they’re not coming for a few more weeks.” I will myself not to think about having to share a room with him. I’ll be doing it for the rest of my life, so I may as well get used to it now.
“All right. I’ll see you soon.” He presses a kiss to my forehead and walks out.
The second he’s out of earshot, I turn to my brother. “What the hell, Bash?”
“I thought you’d be happy to see him.” He gives me a cocky smile. My palm twitches with the urge to smack it off.
“No, you didn’t,” I snap. “So what’s he really doing here?”
He pushes off the wall and walks toward me. Leaning his arms on the island, he lowers his voice and says, “You’re right. I knew he was the last person you wanted to see, but when I caught you and Cass last night, I knew he was exactly who you needed to see.”
I gape at him. “You invited him here to spy on Cass?”
“Damn right I did.”
“He’s your best friend, Sebastian!”
“Keep your voice down.” He furrows his brow. “Do you think I wanted this? But after the stunts he pulled this weekend, what the hell was I supposed to do?”
“What are you talking about?”
Bash rolls his neck, popping it multiple times. “Oh, come on, Viv. You know exactly what I’m talking about. What were the two of you doing in the library in the middle of the night anyway?”
“I told you: nothing. What did you think we were doing?” I fold my arms over my chest and dare him to say it out loud.
He scoffs and shakes his head. “I honestly don’t want to know.”
I dump my coffee into the sink and rinse out the mug. “You’re disgusting. Nothing was going on. We were researching something.” I’m hit with the overwhelming desire to see how Cass is doing this morning. I wonder if he’s had a change of heart about reaching out to his sister.
“Right.” Bash chuckles. “Like monkey mating rituals?”
I throw a hand towel at him, and it hits him square in the face. “Idiotic brothers, actually.”
He balls up the towel, then pulls his arm back and lets it fly across the kitchen. It smacks a cupboard and drops onto the counter. “If you want me to believe you, you’re going to have to tell me something true.”
“Or you could just believe me because I’m your sister and Cass is your best friend.”
Bash narrows his eyes and leans closer. “I’m not stupid, Viv. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. It doesn’t take a genius to see there’s something going on.”
“No, just an idiot to assume something is.”
“Look, you can either tell me what legitimate reason you both had for being in the library alone at three in the morning, or I can call Mum and Dad and tell them you’re cheating on your fiancé.”
I let out an incredulous laugh. “You wouldn’t do that.”
He spreads his hands out as if to say he has no choice. “I’m trying to look out for you, Viv.”
“This is you looking out for me?” My voice rises an octave. “Then believe me when I say nothing happened!”
“Why should I? Look at it from my perspective. I come down for a drink and find the two of you in there in the middle of the night, both looking guilty as hell. When I ask you what was going on, the only answer you can give me is that you weren’t doing anything.
What the hell do you expect me to think? ”
“I expect you to believe me. I’ve never lied to you, Bash.” Except for about the accident, and that was only because I didn’t have a choice.
“Then tell me what you were doing.” He taps his fingers on the counter, his rings clinking against the marble.
“I can’t,” I say, my tone defeated.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not my secret to tell.”
His frown grows even deeper. “What are you saying? Cass has some big secret that he’s only told you?”
“Maybe.”
“He tells me everything. Why would he tell you and not me?”
Letting out a big sigh, I squash the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. “I don’t know, Bash.”
“You realize this isn’t helping your case, right?”
“Well, guess what. I no longer care.” I move around the island and out the door. I need air, and I need it now.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I head toward my room, thankfully avoiding running into anyone else. They’re probably all still in bed. Under normal circumstances, Bash would be too, but I guess he thought “protecting my virtue” was a cause worthy of an alarm clock.
It isn’t until I’m opening my door that I remember Landon is here. I steel myself for another awkward conversation, but he’s in the en suite bathroom. Breathing a sigh of relief, I slip into running clothes as quickly as I can. I’m just heading out again when he emerges.
“Going for a run?” he asks.
I halt in the doorway. “Yep.”
“Hang on a second, and I’ll join you.”
Dread fills my stomach as I wait for him to pull on his shoes. Running was supposed to be my escape, but it looks like my prison guard will be coming along.
Five minutes later, we walk back down so that Landon can prepare a pre-workout shake and I can question the choices I’ve made in life. I’ll be lucky if I can get this run in before sunset. Fortunately, my dear brother has disappeared, or I’d be tempted to shove his hand in the blender.
My feet stop of their own accord the second I step into the kitchen.
Cass looks up from the skillet he’s heating on the stove. His eyes grow soft when he sees me, then harden when he spots Landon over my shoulder a second later. “Good morning.” Cass’s voice is gruff, whether from sleep or irritation, I can’t tell.
“Hey there, Cassian,” Landon says, giving me a look as he grabs a banana from the fruit bowl. I don’t know how much Bash told him, but evidently enough to think that he shouldn’t trust Cass. “Busy day ahead?”
Cass scowls at the eggs he’s cracking into the pan. “Not really. It’s Sunday.”
Landon laughs as if this is somehow funny. “That’s right. Sometimes I forget the staff takes off on the weekends.”
Cassian’s hand freezes on the spatula, but he doesn’t say anything.
Landon turns to me. “Hey, babe. Where’s the blender?”
I point him toward the butler’s pantry, wishing I were anywhere else in the universe. If I thought he’d stay behind to make his smoothie, I’d head out the door right now.
Cass doesn’t look at either one of us, just cooks his breakfast without a word as Landon blends his at high speed.
“Those eggs smell good,” Landon tells Cass after shutting off the blender. “Do you mind making me a few before we get back?”
“Landon,” I say, incredulously. It’s one thing to make snide comments. It’s another entirely to treat Cass like staff.
He turns to me with an innocent expression. “What? He’s literally being paid to do that.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s working as the estate manager.” My face heats with embarrassment, and I avoid Cass’s eyes.
“That’s what I meant. He’s being paid to help us.” Landon moves toward me, hand outstretched as if I’m a wild animal that might bite if provoked. “It’s just a couple of eggs.”
“I don’t ca—”
“It’s fine,” Cass says. “I can make you some.”
My eyes dart to him. Why is he rolling over like this? I was trying to defend him. “But—”
“Vivvy.” He gives me a long look. “It’s okay.”
I open my mouth to protest once more, and that’s when I see the look in his eyes, the knowledge that this will make things easier for me. I let my gaze linger on him as I follow Landon to the door, while my heart bursts wide open.
I used to console myself by thinking that being with Cass wouldn’t be as good as I imagined. But now that I’ve seen a small glimpse of what he’s willing to give up for me, I know without a shadow of a doubt that a life with him would’ve been the most wonderful thing in the world.
And I’ll never get to experience it.