47. Vivienne
Vivienne
Bash slings his duffel bag over his shoulder and gives me a peck on the head. “Be good. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he says, tossing me a wink.
“You realize that joke stopped being funny about fifteen years ago, right?” I ask.
“I’m resurrecting it.”
Movement in the corridor catches my eye, and I look up to see Cassian enter the foyer. His gaze skims over me like featherlight fingertips before settling on my brother. “Heading home?”
Bash turns and gives him a broad grin and a slap on the back. “Not all of us can survive in the wilderness for twenty-four hours.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s been less than twelve. And this is hardly the wilderness.” Bash arrived last night around eleven and only managed to get up at nine this morning so he could pack his bags and drive back to the city.
He gives Cass a warning look before clapping him on the shoulder. “Take care of her,” he says.
“Perfectly capable of taking care of myself, dipshit,” I mutter.
“Don’t be afraid to tie her up and stick her in the cellar,” Bash calls back as he heads for the door.
I flip him off, but his grin only widens as he waves. Seconds later, the door clicks shut and the engine of his Maserati revs, leaving me alone with Cassian. Tension fills the room, threatening to choke me if I don’t get out.
I move toward the staircase, but Cass’s voice stops me. “How could you say that to him?”
I turn around slowly. “Say what?”
“He told me that you encouraged him to break up with Briar.” He crosses his arms over his chest, and even in the oversized hoodie, the outline of his shoulders is evident.
“That’s not true, but regardless, it’s between me and Bash.”
“Well, he dragged me into it the second he asked for my opinion.”
“What?” I know I must look like an idiot, but the wheels in my head are sluggish, probably from the lack of sleep and everything that happened with Rhya yesterday. I haven’t even been out to see her yet, thanks to my brother’s early morning departure.
“He wanted to know if I think he should end things with her,” Cass says. “Because apparently, you told him he should.”
“That’s an oversimplified explanation.” I move off the bottom step toward him. “We talked about it, and he came to that conclusion on his own, not because I pushed him into it.”
“Really? So it’s not because you don’t think she’s good enough for him?” His glare is a storm at sea, waves crashing against rocks, lightning flashing in the sky.
“Of course not. Briar’s my friend.”
“They’re good together, and he’s completely torn up about it, especially now that his own sister thinks he should break things off.”
I throw my hands out. “I never said that.”
“Maybe you’re more like your parents than you thought.”
I flinch as his words find their mark. “So that’s how you feel.”
Cass’s face falls, and he drives his fingers through his hair. “Shit, Viv. I didn’t mean that.”
“It sounded pretty genuine to me,” I tell him quietly.
“I was lashing out,” he says. “I just had a long conversation with my dad, and I’m on edge because of it. I’m sorry.”
I can see it on his face once I allow myself to really look. Lines crease his forehead, and there’s a hard set to his mouth, a mouth I would desperately love to kiss right now. “You okay?”
Nodding, he drops his gaze to the marble floor of the foyer. “Yeah. Just shit about my mum.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. But I need to know the reason you think Bash should break up with Briar.”
I bite my lip. “Because he has things to work through, and he will only hurt her if they’re not dealt with. It’s complicated and messy, and I’m honestly surprised you don’t see it that way.”
Cass looks up and meets my gaze as my breath catches in my throat. “What I see is a couple in love with each other, but they come from two different worlds, which leads everyone to believe it’ll never work.”
I stare at him, my heart aching with grief. “Are we still talking about Bash and Briar?”
“Obviously.”
“It kind of sounds like you’re confusing them with us,” I say.
“I’m not.”
“My opinion has nothing to do with where they come from, or even what my family would say, and everything to do with my brother.”
Cass’s brows pull low over his eyes. “I get that you want to protect him—”
“I’m not trying to protect him. I’m trying to protect her!”
He scoffs and shakes his head. “Briar can handle the criticism, Viv. She’s not some delicate hothouse flower you need to insulate from the world. She’s tough. She knows it won’t be easy.”
So this is how he sees me. As someone who only cares about her image and that of her family.
Someone who will do anything to protect her reputation, even if it hurts the people closest to her.
“I’m not my mother, Cass. I would never suggest they break up because I was worried about what people would think.
” My voice sounds icy, the exact temperature of my heart right now.
“Your mother would meddle in this situation, and that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
“I’m not meddling,” I say. “Bash asked for my opinion, and I’m trying to—”
“Protect her, I know. But it’s the same bloody thing, and you know it.”
“No, it’s not,” I whisper.
“You sure about that?” He leans in, and the scent of his body wash swirls around us. I wish he’d stop arguing and take me in his arms. “Because you sure considered it the same thing when Bash caught us in the stables.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“Isn’t it?”
Our gazes are locked together, and the only way I’m getting free is if I take a machete to them. Maybe Cass is right. Maybe it is the same thing. But is it really so bad that I care about my brother and his relationships?
“Maybe it’s similar, but I’m trying to protect both of them,” I say.
“She doesn’t need protecting, Vivvy. I told you, she’s tough.”
“Then maybe you should date her. Sounds like you’d be a match made in heaven. Both impenetrable.” I whirl on my heel and head upstairs. I cannot do this anymore.
A strong hand closes around my wrist, halting me in my steps. “What did you say?” Cass growls in my ear.
My breath grows ragged in my throat, but I’m not scared. In fact, I’m . . . turned on. “You heard me.”
He spins me around to face him and presses me against the railing. One of his large hands reaches up to my face, and he trails a finger along my jawline, making me shiver. “How can you accuse me of wanting to be with anyone else when you know I’ll always be yours?”
His nearness makes me tremble, but his words break my heart. “But you’re not, are you? You’ll never be mine.”
I use his momentary stupefaction to push past him. Forget changing out of my pajamas; I need to see Rhya right now. I jog down the remaining stairs toward the front door. I need to get away from Cass before he breaks the rest of me into a thousand pieces.
“Vivvy.” The call joins the sound of his footsteps behind me. “Wait.”
I don’t, opening the door and marching into the sunshine before he can stop me.
“Would you slow down?” he says, matching me stride for stride. “Tell me why you feel like you need to protect Briar so badly.”
“If you really need me to answer that question, you’re even more of an idiot than I originally thought.”
“I’m fully aware of just how much of an idiot I am. Now would you please tell me?”
I whirl on him, nearly barreling into his chest. “Because he’s going to hurt her!”
Cass’s long lashes brush across his cheeks as he blinks at me. “What?”
I shake my head. Why do I bother explaining this when I know he’ll never understand? “You know Bash. As soon as he gets tired of her, he’ll throw her aside like yesterday’s news.”
Cass’s face tightens, and I’m so glad my brother has someone this protective of him, but if Cass can’t see what’s right in front of his face—
“Everyone knows he’s different with her.”
“Maybe, but what happens when one of his vices gets between them? The drinking, the racing, the gambling—you name it, Cass. He’s always going to prioritize the things that make him feel the best, and the moment that’s no longer Briar, she’ll be gone.”
Cass shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket and kicks at the gravel of the driveway. “I just think we should give him a chance to do the right thing.”
“You mean the way you’re giving us a chance?”
“It’s not the same thing,” he growls.
“Regardless, the last time I gave Bash a chance was with Ember, and you know how—”
“Yes, Viv. I know.” The steel in his voice matches that in his eyes. “But that was different. And it was three years ago.”
“He hasn’t changed, Cass,” I say sadly. “And he still has no idea what actually happened that night.”
He blows out a long breath. “It’s still his life. We have to let him live it.”
“The last time I did that, someone died.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe not, but I was there, and I did nothing to stop it,” I say.
“You couldn’t have known.”
“I know.” I drop my gaze to the rocks beneath my slippered feet. “But the guilt of it eats at me every day, Cass. How am I supposed to pretend not to notice when the same thing starts happening all over again?”
“It’s not the same. Briar is Ember’s opposite in every way. And Bash is a different person than he was back then.”
“Is he?” I ask.
“Whether he is or not, we have to let him make his own choices.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” Tears roll down my face, and I reach up to brush them away. I didn’t even realize they were about to fall.
“You can,” Cass says, pulling me close. “When you love someone, you have to do what’s best for them.”
My fingers rest against his sweatshirt. “Is that what you think you’re doing for me?”
“Viv . . .” Exhaustion tints his voice a smoky blue-gray. “Let’s not get into this again.”
“Why not?” I ask, stepping back to put distance between us. “I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”
“Maybe I can’t.”
I shake my head, tears still blurring my vision. Goosebumps rise on my skin, and I rub my hands over my arms to chase them away. “That’s not fair.”
“You know what’s not fair? You’re trying to keep Briar away from Bash for her own sake, but you can’t understand why I would do the same thing for you.”
A scoffing laugh rolls off my tongue. “Are we talking about Landon or you? Because you’ve done your best to sabotage both relationships.”
“And I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m trying to protect you, Vivvy.” He reaches over his shoulder and pulls his hoodie off, then tugs it down over my head.
His warmth is still trapped inside, and I wish I could burrow into it for the rest of the day. “What happened to letting people make their own choices? You want me to give Bash the benefit of the doubt, but you won’t do the same for me,” I say.
“I—”
“I’m terrified Bash will hurt Briar because he’s done it to so many girls in the past. But what have I ever done that gave you the impression I wouldn’t be satisfied with a life with you?” I suck in a gulping sob. “All I’ve ever done is love you, and you’re too blind to see it.”
Cass presses his tongue against his cheek to hold back his own tears. “I do see it, baby, and it kills me.”
“Then let me make my own choices!”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” I scream. “I’ve never left you. Not once!”
“Yeah?” He shuffles closer, casting a disdainful glance at my hand. “Then what do you call that giant-ass diamond on your finger?”