Chapter 28
Alex
Within a week, I’m settled into Alonzo’s private study. The room is smaller than I expected, with a large desk in the center surrounded by shelves full of books on either side and the back.
Alonzo cleared out most of his paperwork from the desk and placed it in a locked drawer by the door, giving me plenty of space to set my textbooks and notebooks on the desk.
He keeps the door to the study open when I’m using it, and he walks by the room on his way to and from the kitchen. Sometimes, he will pop his head in and ask me if I need brain food or snacks.
It doesn’t feel like he’s worried I’ll be snooping or spying on his stuff. In fact, he’s been more open about his cabin since the night I found Esmeralda’s paintings in the guest room.
I appreciate that Alonzo is trying to make sure I’m comfortable while I study, but it’s making it difficult to snoop in the small room when he’s always around.
After a few days of using his study, I finally gather the courage to look at the books on the shelf while he cooks dinner. I imagine I’ll find a secret compartment behind a shelf, but it turns out all his books are real books. Most of them are business books, with a few art books hidden between the larger tomes.
I page through an art book, wondering if Alonzo’s first art pieces were as bad as mine.
“You can borrow the business books if you’d like,” he says, startling me.
“Sorry,” I say, returning the art book back on the shelf. “I was just curious about what you read.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he says. “You’re free to read and borrow any of these books. In fact, you are free to borrow anything from this study. If you can see it, you can borrow it.”
“Thanks,” I say.
As soon as he returns to the kitchen, I get up to check the cabinets, but they’re all locked. Same with the shelves above them.
The keys to open these shelves and cabinets have to be here somewhere around here, I think to myself as I search the unlocked drawers under the desk.
I occasionally glance at the door when the house gets too quiet. My heart is racing in my chest, and my legs jitter.
Suddenly, there’s a loud bang in the kitchen, and I slam the drawers shut and run back to his chair. My heart is pounding so fast, I can feel the pulse in my fingers.
“Sorry about that,” Alonzo yells from the kitchen. “I dropped a pan!”
“Fuck,” I whisper to myself, sinking my face into my hands.
???
It’s Friday night, and I’m cuddled up in my own bed at my apartment with a notebook in hand. I’m writing a list of groceries I need to buy tomorrow.
Honestly, I wish I was at Alonzo’s place, not so I can search his cabin for the money, but to have his arms around my body as I’ve gotten used to lately. I know it’s absurd, but I want to see him. Am I really under his spell?
My phone buzzes, cutting my thoughts short. I reach for it on my nightstand and read the name on the screen. A chill runs down my body when I see who’s calling. I let the phone ring a few times before answering.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“Is that any way to talk to an old friend, sweetheart?” Jacob asks. “It’s been a while since we last spoke. I’m calling to make sure you haven’t forgotten about our arrangement.”
“I haven’t forgotten,” I assure him and myself. “Especially when your reapers started tailing me around town.”
“Well, I just wanted to make sure we were still on the same page. Have you made any progress?” I can hear Jacob smiling on the other side of the line.
“I have,” I say, pausing to consider what I’m going to tell him. I decided I’m not going to share any of the money with this asshole, so I have to be careful what I say to him.
Jacob sighs. “Jesus H. Christ. Well, are you going to tell me or what?”
“I’ve been visiting his place more frequently,” I say.
“His cabin. I know. What else?”
“Well, I’ve searched his cabin but haven’t found the money yet. And I’ve searched everywhere. The last place I need to check is his private study, but he only unlocks the door during the day.”
“When are you going to check it?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Like I said, he keeps the study locked, so I need to find the key to the room, but it’s hard because he’s always around. I don’t…I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Let me think for a minute,” he says.
He remains quiet for a while, then finally says, “I can call him tomorrow and ask him to meet me. That should give you a few hours to search for the key to the room.”
“I can’t tomorrow. You know I’m busy on weekends,” I say.
“Jesus. Fine. I’ll call him Monday evening then, but you better be ready.”
“Okay.”
“By the way,” he says. “I’ve stopped by your place several times already and haven’t found you there. I thought you were avoiding me, but now I suppose you were spending the night with Alonzo.”
“Probably,” I say.
“How often are you at his place?” Jacob asks, sounding a bit jealous. It’s like he forgot this is his plan.
“Often,” I admit. “I’m trying to find the money as soon as possible.”
“Well, it seems like you’re taking your sweet time. Don’t forget you’re mine, Alex.”
“I don’t think Alonzo would agree with that,” I say. I have no idea why I said that, but something tells me it’s true. Alonzo is very possessive, even with his short-term flings.
There’s a long pause. Is Jacob afraid of Alonzo, or is he amused by what I just said?
“You don’t want to fuck with me, Alex. Be ready Monday evening. Find my money.”
He hangs up before I can respond.
Bastard .
???
“Is something wrong?” Alonzo asks. He caught me glancing at my phone for the third time in the past ten minutes.
“Nothing,” I say, setting my phone aside on the couch. “Just checking the time. I need to study soon.”
“So studious,” he says, leaning over and kissing me on the forehead. “You’ll have plenty of time to study after the movie.”
It’s Monday afternoon, and we’re sitting in his living room watching a movie. I’m anxiously looking at the time on my phone, waiting for Jacob to call Alonzo.
The call finally comes about halfway through the movie. Alonzo gets up and tells me he has to answer his phone in the kitchen.
“Do you want me to pause the movie?”
“No, that’s okay,” he says as he exits the living room. A few minutes later, he returns and says he has to leave for a few hours. “You can finish the movie without me if you want.”
“Maybe I should study for midterms instead,” I say. “Do you think I can use your study?”
He nods. “That’s a good idea. Study now, and we will finish the movie when I return.”
He kisses me in a warm embrace before heading out the door. I stand by the window and wave him goodbye.
As soon as his car exits the driveway, I run to his study, where my books are waiting for me on the desk. Instead of sitting to study, I search his desk and any other place I can access for the cabinet keys.
The more I search, the more a sinking feeling settles in my lower stomach. It feels like I’m doing something wrong, like I’m betraying Alonzo’s trust.
“He’s just using you for sex,” I remind myself. “What’s wrong with me using him for money?”
But that’s the problem.
Even if he is using me for sex, I have grown to care for him. I enjoy caressing his hair at night and watching him doze off. I enjoy spending sunsets picnicking and painting with him by the stream behind his cabin. And I enjoy having dinner with him and even helping him cook meals sometimes, despite his insistence on doing everything himself and treating me like royalty.
I can’t do this to him, I tell myself as I shut the desk drawers. I can’t betray him like this .
I wanted to leave town as soon as I found Alonzo’s money, but those plans will have to change. I’m stuck in this town for a while longer. As for Mom… I’ll do right by her some other way.
In the meantime, I’ll need to find a way to tell Jacob I’m not stealing from Alonzo. He’ll be pissed. Beyond pissed. But that’s a bridge I’ll have to worry about whenever I get there.
And Alonzo… Just thinking about him gives me warm goosebumps. I don’t want to end things with him. I know they will soon—probably as soon as the semester ends—but I want to enjoy his company for as long as I can.
Let the chips fall where they may, but I will not steal from Alonzo.