23. Step Right Up
STEP RIGHT UP
CHELSEA
The Wolfpack’s annual Casino Night is the final charity event of the season, and the fact that the team is still in playoff contention makes it an even hotter ticket.
For the first time in five years, it’s a total sell-out, which is great for the four local Veterans’ charities the Foundation has chosen to partner with.
Now all I have to do is wrangle an entire roster of hockey players into being on their best behavior and try not to let the chill that’s lingering between me and Shanna affect the event.
No problem.
I step to the front of the holding room the casino has provided for the team, raising my voice to be heard over the din as I run through the list on my clipboard.
“Okay, so my first round of black jack dealers are Fletcher, Matti, Parker, Cody, Lincoln, and Nik. If you guys want to follow Shanna, she’ll get you set up at your tables.”
I glance at the clock on the far wall.
“For the rest of you, the usual applies. Please spread out, chat with the season ticket holders, because that’s why they’re here.
I don’t want to see more than two or three of you at the same game at the same time.
Three-drink maximum, and try to make them last the course of the evening, gentlemen.
I don’t want any incidents like last time. Right, Jace?”
Decker stands up at the round of catcalls and wolf-whistles, holding up both hands and accepting the laughing taunts and jeers with a gracious bow. “I promise to keep all my clothes on this year, Chelsea, unless you ask me nicely.”
I roll my eyes at the resulting hoots, but I can’t quite hide my smile.
Before I can wrestle the room back under control, Chase Hawkins, the team frat-boy, is on his feet.
“Okay, boys. You heard the lady. Let’s keep it classy as fuck out there!
Also, if you’re wondering where to surrender your money to me, I will be the one at the poker table, surrounded by beautiful women. ”
This sets off another round of howls and ribbing as the rest of the team stands.
“Thank you, Chase, for that incredibly unhelpful addition. I’m begging you guys, please don’t make me earn my money tonight, okay?”
The plea is mostly lost in the thunder of a bunch of dudes let loose in a casino.
“Where do you want me?” Brett asks.
Now there’s a dangerous question.
Even though there’s six-feet of space between us, heat crawls over my skin. Judging by his wicked grin, he’s reading my mind.
I focus on my clipboard in an attempt to calm my raging hormones. “I just have you circulating on the floor, chatting with fans.”
“See now, that was your chance to say something dirty, Chels. About how you want me up against the wall or whatever.”
“It was?” God, I like him. It’s a little scary how much.
His nod is full of faux solemnity, but his eyes glint with mischief.
“It was. But you didn’t, and that makes a guy start to doubt himself, start to wonder what the odds are of him getting lucky tonight, you know?”
“Well, I guess that depends,” I tease, lowering my clipboard.
“On what?”
“On whether you’re done with the bad casino puns. They’re kind of a turn-off.”
“Liar.” His devilish grin fades after a moment. “God, I wish I could kiss you right now.”
I want that, too, want to let him, but it’s too risky. I have an event to run, and I can’t give into the hum of attraction his confession has kindled in my belly. I lick my lips, trying to douse the tingle that the thought of his mouth on mine stokes.
Despite the distance, I can see his eyes have darkened in that sexy, exciting way that makes my pulse speed up.
“Okay, since I can’t resist your tongue, that is my cue to leave before I do something completely irresponsible,” he announces, walking backward toward the door. “But before I go, I’d like to point out that I totally just called your bluff.”
I roll my eyes, but I’m laughing.
“You are definitely turned on by my gambling puns.”
I stick my tongue out at him, just to be a brat, and he winks as he turns and heads out to the floor.
Shanna appears seconds later, and a distinct chill settles over the room, dousing the flirty embers of my interaction with Brett.
We haven’t spoken since the breakfast incident.
It’s the longest we’ve been out of contact in all our years of friendship.
“Did you need something?” I do my best to sound professional instead of bitchy.
“I was just coming to find Brett, since he was the only one not out on the floor. But obviously, he was in good hands.”
Ooo-kay... Apparently, Shanna doesn’t feel the same need to temper the interaction.
I clear my throat. “Well, you found him. Fully dressed. And I still have both my hands on the clipboard. So I guess you can consider your self-appointed chaperone duty a success.”
Shanna frowns. “I don’t know why you’re so mad about this. I just think you’re not seeing clearly right now. And someone has to make sure you don’t get hurt.”
“Oh, is that what this is? Then how come you weren’t looking out for me when Dustin completely undermined my confidence?
When he ridiculed me for wanting sex more than once a month?
When he was gaslighting my concerns about our relationship right before dumping me because I didn’t turn him on anymore? ”
My hands flex around the clipboard.
“But now you’re worried about me? Now that I’ve found a man who makes me feel sexy and wanted and alive?”
Shanna looks hurt at the charges, and I blow out a breath.
“Look, this isn’t the time or place to get into this. I shouldn’t have dumped that on you. We’ve both got work to do. This event isn’t going to run itself.”
Forty minutes later, I’m doubting that claim.
Everything is running smoothly, the guys are behaving themselves, the fans are having a good time, and that leaves me with nothing but free time to notice the three buxom blondes in tight, short dresses who are making a beeline for the craps table where Jace, Kane and Brett are hanging out.
They look glamorous, the guys in their suits, the women laughing with martini glasses full of neon-colored drinks in their hands. I experience a pang of something I can’t quite place. Not so much jealousy as... longing?
What would it be like to be the woman standing next to him? Flirting and sipping fruity alcohol and having a good time, instead of monitoring the scene with my trusty clipboard?
I’ve always put so much into my work. Lately, it doesn’t seem worth it. Something’s missing. It’s why I busted my ass for the promotion. I was hoping a new set of responsibilities would reignite my passion for the job.
Work used to be my escape. Now I’m wondering if it’s just another cage.
As if he can sense me watching, Brett looks over. He raises his eyebrows and his beer in salute, and I return his lopsided grin.
“Do you know what his problem is?”
I jump at the intrusion. “Dad, you scared me.”
“It’s that he’s distracted.”
On the heels of my run-in with Shanna, I’m not interested in another concern-veiled attack.
“Sillinger’s a damn good hockey player when he’s trying. But he’s got a short attention span. He lets his personal life get in the way of his business. He’s not like you and me. No sense of responsibility.”
I glance at my dad, preparing to excuse myself under the guise of some non-existent problem, but he pulls out the big guns. “He’s like your mother that way.”
The reference blindsides me. Since the day she’d walked out on us, Alicia London has not been a topic of family discussion. And that’s always suited me just fine. But for my father to bring her up now, in reference to Brett, has anger bubbling in my chest.
“He checks out when he gets bored.”
The warning turns my muscles rigid. Because I know exactly what it feels like to be left by someone who decided I wasn’t enough. And no matter how many times I insist Brett is just sex, some part of me has been waiting for him to do the same.
But worse than that, lately I’m the one who’s bored. Distracted. Wondering whether the life I’ve built is still enough. I look just like my mom. What if our resemblance goes deeper than that?
For one horrible second, I don’t know which of us Dad is warning me about.
“You don’t get to do that.”
Dad frowns. “Do what?”
“Refuse to say her name for years, and then drag her out when you want to scare me away from Brett.”
“I’m trying to keep you from getting hurt.” He sighs, and for just a second, his GM persona flickers and he’s just my father. “You and I, we’re a lot alike. We throw ourselves into everything we do with our whole hearts.” He gestures toward Brett again. “He’s a bad bet.”
He makes me feel alive.
“You don’t know him,” I whisper.
“I know his history. People don’t change.”
The idea that he’s right, that the new me that I’ve been trying to cobble together since I met Brett doesn’t stand a chance, that I’m destined to be stuck forever as the girl my mom abandoned, the woman Dustin didn’t want…
My fists tighten around my clipboard.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
Anger pulses in my veins as I walk away from him, and I let it fill the chasm of doubt he opened up in my chest.
He’s wrong about Brett, and he’s wrong about me.
I can be different.
I just need to prove that first night with Brett wasn’t a fluke.
Prove that I’ve changed. Grown. That I’m braver. That I’m more than good.
I’m practically running past the roulette wheel before I remember to slow my steps and smile. By the time I reach the craps table, my face hurts.
“Brett?” I look at the clipboard and draw two unnecessary lines on my list, so that everyone will believe I’m there on important business.
“Can I borrow you for a minute?”