Chapter 1 #2
“Nothing… because it ain’t happening And you really don’t want me to let you go. If you did, you wouldn’t be here. Briar got about a million clubs, baby. You could have easily gone to one of those, right?”
He had me there, so I was quiet. I looked down, but he tipped my chin up, making me look at him. His six foot three frame easily towered that of my five foot six. I wasn’t a short woman by any means, but in his presence, I was.
“But who are we kidding? You came here because just like I wanna be with you, you wanna be with me. You’re just playing hard to get and I’m letting you.” He lowered his head and kissed me, never closing his eyes. This fool was giving me the stare down while he kissed me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck just as his hand dropped to my waist. That fast, nothing else mattered, just him, this moment, and why I needed to get my shit together.
In a swift motion, he picked me up and carried me over to his desk. He set me on it and stood between my legs, his hands on both sides of my face as he peered down at me.
“I’m not playing hard to get. I just refuse to keep playing your games.”
“And what games are those, Syn?”
“All the bitches you bed? Shit, you probably paid for quite a few sections out there. I’m not stupid.”
He chuckled dryly. “Never thought you were.”
“Exactly and I’m also not so hard up for a man that I’m gonna willingly share him with everybody. If he’s for me, then he’s for me. Not the whole fucking flock.”
He studied me for a minute, those serious eyes jumping between my lips and eyes. When he was about to speak, there was a knock at the door. It wasn’t even a knock, more like somebody banging.
He didn’t move at first, but instead glanced up at the monitors before leaning across my frame to push a button.
The door opened seconds later. This fool had the door set to automatically lock when I came in here. So even if I thought I was getting out of here, he had to let me out. Such a control freak.
“Damn, Kay, I thought you said we were done with this fool?” Killah, Posydiann’s cousin and Junnie’s brother, said with a chuckle.
“She could never be fucking done with me. Both of y’all know that.” He looked down at me when he said that, his eyes holding full belief in the words from his lips.
What bothered me more than anything was the fact that he believed what he said. Then again, who was he not to? If you didn’t have confidence in yourself, you had nothing. Too bad I had to show him I really was done. I guess I had to show myself too.
“Aight, baby. I’ll let you go right now. I’ll be through tonight.” He lowered his head and kissed the side of my face, backing up and giving me space to get off his desk.
“No you won’t.” I slid off his desk and went to exit his office. “Have a good evening, fellas,” I tossed over my shoulder as I reached the door.
As soon as I exited, the loud music and multiple bodies greeted me. I went back to my section ready to take it in. I’d had enough excitement for the night and considering I had an early fitting in the morning with one of my regulars, I needed to leave.
When I reached the section, I locked eyes with Diablo who seemed to be standing guard at the entrance. He immediately threw his hands up in surrender because he knew I was about to get at him.
“Really, D? I thought we were here.” I pointed from my own eyes to his.
He shook his head. “You know how that goes, Karsyn. You be having the boss acting all out of character.”
I threw my head back in disbelief. “Nah I don’t. That's his real self.”
“If you say so. You headed out?”
I looked from him to Junnie then nodded. “Yeah, my brain has seen enough. I’m exhausted.”
“I’ma walk you both to your cars.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
“Did you hear what I said, darling?” My mother’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“No, I didn’t. What did you say?” I looked from the coffee mug in my hands to her.
Instead of going home last night, I came to her estate.
I didn’t want to chance Posydiann showing up at my place and me doing all that weak in the knees shit.
Yes, I wanted him, but I didn’t want pieces of him.
I wanted all of him, and if I couldn’t get that, then I wanted nothing. At some point I had to stand up.
“I said it’s been a while since you came by and spent the night here. Usually I have to fuss for days to get you to come out here and see me. What are you hiding from?”
I laughed and shook my head. “Nothing, Karen. I’m headed out in a few. I have a client in about two hours.”
She laughed. “You’re my child and raised you, not some nanny or housemaid… me. So I know when it’s something, even when you don’t. So, spill.”
I shook my head. This was the reason I didn’t come home. She could always see through me. “It’s my own doing, getting caught up with a man I should’ve hightailed away from.”
“Story of all our lives, baby. Did he hurt you?”
“No, we’re just different and he’s like wine candy, so sweet but so hard. Then it’s like I know I have to leave him alone, but he makes it so hard.”
“Because you don’t want to leave him alone.”
I nodded. “It’s stupid, I know.”
“It’s not. These are your feelings and I think it’s safe to say you love this man, right?”
“I don’t know. I think I do, but we’re so different and I feel like he keeps me at arm’s length. How is it supposed to be anything if it’s always like that? Maybe I should just let Dad marry me off, and at least somebody will have to be with me.”
She laughed. “You don’t want that either.
As you can see, every arrangement doesn’t end with happiness.
I mean, my happiness is you and your brother, but in my marriage, there is none.
Don’t settle for an arrangement, because you don’t know how that can turn out.
You are beautiful and still have your youth.
Fall in love when you are ready on your own terms. And if it’s with the man you’re talking about, then what’s meant will fall into place. ”