Chapter 5 #2
I shrugged. “Actually, I am.”
“Got something to do with him, didn't it?”
I smiled widely. “Posydiann makes me happy, Kol. That’s all that matters, right?”
“It ain’t but I get it. I ain’t boutta give you no spiel about it. As long as he keeps you safe and out of his bullshit, I’ll stand to the side.”
I spent long enough with my brother talking back and forth before I decided to get pizza and go to Psy’s house instead of going all the way home to cook and leaving.
I was thrown off a little since I hadn’t talked to him since this morning.
I sent him a text to check in when I left my brother’s house, but got no answer.
Earlier when I called he didn’t answer, but now he hadn’t even read my text.
I was immediately worried because even though I wasn’t from his side of the city, I still knew who he was.
I stopped and got the pizza I ordered then went to his house. I had never popped up on him before, but seeing how we had plans, I figured it wasn’t really popping up… right?
I parked right out front and grabbed my gym bag from the trunk and the pizza from the passenger seat. I opened the gate and ascended the steps, knowing damn well I was gonna be pissed if nobody was here and I popped up on him. I was overthinking.
I rang the doorbell and stood there impatiently for what felt like an eternity, but it had probably only been like ten seconds. When I went to ring it again, the door was already opening. I was then met by Junior whose eyes were bloodshot, like he had been crying.
“Are you alright, sweetheart?” I asked as soon as he had both doors open.
He just looked at me but didn’t respond. He had manners though because he grabbed the pizza boxes and my gym bag. I then followed the lanky teenager to the kitchen where he set the pizza boxes on the island and my bag on the floor.
I was about to speak, but he pulled me into a hug. Sniffles into my neck followed. “He’s gone, Ma.”
Immediately, my chest tightened in a way that made breathing hard.
“Who’s gone, Junior?” I asked, praying it wasn’t who immediately came to mind.
“Unc. He died.” He cried even harder and I rubbed his back.
I felt guilty that relief washed over me, but then worry immediately flooded me because Posydiann’s uncle was everything to him. He was the father he didn’t get to meet, the man who stepped up in both his and Killah’s lives.
Junior cried to me and I hugged him tightly, caring for him the best way I could before I walked him to his bedroom and helped him into bed.
I left Junior to check on his father. Nothing I could say would help, I just needed to be here for him… for them. Posydiann’s room was dark, letting me know he was asleep, which I didn’t want to bother…or so I thought.
“This is so fucked up,” he said, barely audible but I heard him.
I flipped the switch, and there he sat at the foot of the bed, head in his hands.
When the lights came on, he looked directly at me.
Everything about him was off. His eyes were bloodshot, which summoned fresh tears to mine.
I’d seen Posydiann raw before, but never this raw.
He was hurting so bad and I could see it.
I walked up to him, standing there for a moment. Almost instantly, he pulled me into his space, pushing his head against my abdomen.
“I’m sorry, baby.”
He pulled me in further, then I was flush against the bed, his head against my stomach, hugging me tightly as he lay on top of me.
“This ain’t fair, man.” He held on to me so tightly that it seemed like he thought I was gonna disappear in his arms.
“No it’s not. I’m so sorry, baby.” I held on to him just as tightly.
I didn’t know what to say because loss was a slippery slope.
People could say all the right things, but none of that was really heard because it hurt so bad.
I just felt like I needed to be here for him.
Like right here was where I was supposed to be because of how much he meant to me.
I couldn’t explain this feeling, but regardless of anything, I needed to be in this space with him.
Loving him through a pain neither he nor I expected.
I fell asleep with his body cradled against mine, regardless of the fact that he was nearly crushing me. When I woke up hours later, I was in bed alone, which immediately set off alarms in my head.
I was on my feet stretching and looking around when the time caught my eye. It was three-fifty in the morning. I moved out of the bedroom, my first stop being to check on Junior.
To my surprise, he was up with that damn headset on his head, talking to someone.
“You good?” I asked, looking around to see if he probably ate some of the pizza I brought.
He looked up from the game at me. “One minute y’all, my stepmama talking to me.” Then he pressed something on the headset and looked directly at me. “Yeah, Ma, I’m straight.”
“You eat?” I was not even taken aback by the fact that he insisted on calling me Ma. He had done that since the second or third time I met him. Even when I didn’t know what the fuck was going on with Posydiann, his son was calling me his stepmother.
He shook his head. “Not really hungry.”
“Can you eat a little something for me? Two pieces of chicken? No pizza.” I bargained, bringing a small smile to his face. He looked so much like his father.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Alright. I’m gonna warm it.”
“Thank you, Ma,” he said in a low tone.
“Anytime.”
I closed his door then went to find Posydiann and warm his food.