Chapter 5 #2
I get out of the shower and towel off. I’m not sure when Marlena wants to eat, but I’ve got an hour to kill at least. I plop down on the sofa and turn on the television.
It feels strange to do something so meaningless, but it’s all I can manage at the moment.
My brain is literally worthless to me right now, filled with thoughts of Sofia and my father.
I manage to kill time before changing into something appropriate for a family dinner.
It’s not a suit and tie, but it’s not jeans and a T-shirt either.
I pick a button-down shirt and a pair of gray slacks.
When I get downstairs, I see Marlena hasn’t changed.
I guess that’s one perks of being Mrs. Corello.
She can wear whatever she wants without drawing disappointed glances from my father.
Actually, Dad would be in love with Marlena no matter what she was wearing.
He’s blind when it comes to her, and for good reason.
They went through hell and back when Carlo Andretti kidnapped Marlena’s brother.
I don’t like to think about those times, even though we all made it through in one piece.
“What’s the occasion?” I ask, settling down at one end of the massive dining room table.
“We have an announcement to make,” Marlena says, putting her hand over my father’s.
I’m almost certain I know where this is going, but I wait to hear them say it. My father looks at Marlena and then back at me. There’s no one else in the room, even though it’s big enough to hold a football team. I hold my breath, waiting for the big reveal.
“We’re pregnant!” Marlena sings.
“Congratulations,” I say, standing up so I can walk over to give her a hug.
She cries a little, and I’m blown away. This is big news, but I can’t focus on how it’s going to change things for me. She’s got center stage right now, and the only thing I care about is making sure that she’s happy.
I wrap her up in my arms, suddenly feeling like she’s too fragile to hold. She gives me a squeeze before releasing me. I turn to my father, holding out a hand.
“Congratulations, Dad,” I say, pulling my father into a manly hug.
“You’re going to be a big brother,” Dad declares, thumping me on the back.
I return to my seat, determined to act as if this is the best news in the world. I’m actually not sure how I feel. There’s some part of me that’s not on board, but it’s a small part. I’ll worry about exploring my reservations later, but now isn’t the time.
“That’s why you didn’t drink during my graduation celebration,” I say, putting two and two together.
“That’s right,” Marlena says, reaching out for my father’s hand again.
“How long have you known?” I wonder.
“A few weeks,” Marlena admits. “We wanted to be sure that the baby was healthy, and that there were no complications before we said anything.”
“So, is the baby healthy?” I ask.
“It’s not exactly a baby yet,” Marlena hedges.
“But it’s healthy?” I insist.
“Yes,” she assures me. “Everything is moving along just like it should.”
“And you have a doctor and all that?” I wonder.
“Look at him,” Dad says, pointing a fork at me. “Acting like he knows all about being a father.”
“I don’t,” I clarify. “I’m just making conversation.”
“Boys,” Marlena says, glancing back and forth across the table. “I really want you to be happy for us.”
“I am,” I say defensively.
I’m not sure why my father always has to point out my shortcomings.
He’s right; I’ve never been a father. I’ve never beaten someone up or been overly interested in his business enterprise either.
But there’s only one person in this room who graduated from law school, and that’s me.
I achieved something that he hasn’t, and that makes me proud.
Growing up, my father wasn’t always available.
Especially after my mother died, he just sort of drifted away.
He did all the important things, like paying for college and buying me my first car.
But he never coached my little league team or taught me how to talk to girls. For the most part, I was on my own.
I wonder if he’s going to be that way with the new kid. He’s much older now, and the way he looks at Marlena, it’s as if she’s made of gold. He would never hurt her, and I suspect that he’s going to be a much more attentive father in the future. Good for the baby. I’m not jealous.
I give up trying to make conversation. If my father wants to say anything to me, he’s welcome to do it all by himself.
I made it clear that I’m happy for Marlena, and that I’m interested in hearing her plans for the future.
But I refuse to take responsibility for the atmosphere at the dinner table. That’s on him.
I stick it out until dessert, but instead of eating cake, I make my excuses and step away. In the privacy of my suite, I can finally relax. I tug my shirt off and toss it on the couch. Reaching into my mini fridge, I pull out a beer.
I feel like I’m trapped somewhere between being a boy and being a man.
I really should live on my own, but that’s not the way my family works.
I think about all the young professionals out there who have their own apartments.
They’re coming home from work, cooking their own meals, and relaxing in a space that they paid for.
I haven’t paid for a single thing in my life.
I wonder if it’s worth it, this big plan to help my family out by becoming a lawyer. Am I destined to be a third wheel after my father, my stepmother, and the new baby? Will I ever truly step out on my own and earn my way in the world? I hope so someday.
I’m about to go to bed when my phone lights up.
Glancing down at it, I see I’ve got a text from Sofia.
I’m over the moon. I didn’t think she would text so early.
Yes, we exchanged numbers before she had to get on the bus, and yes, we had plans to meet up later.
But I’m not one hundred percent sure she’s as into me as I am into her.
Sofia: Hey, just wanted to make sure that you’re still up for dinner.
I wait a beat before answering because I don’t want to look too desperate.
Me: Of course.
Sofia: Where are we meeting?
I guess we didn’t get that far. Thank goodness that she’s interested enough to follow up.
Me: Backstage? Tomorrow?
Sofia: Sounds great.
Backstage is a trendy little California kitchen in the middle of downtown. It’s not as upscale as some of the surrounding restaurants, but it’s definitely not a cheap franchise.
Me: 7?
She gives me a thumbs up.
I sit back and stare at the screen for a long moment before finally putting the device down. Things are looking up. I no longer care about my father, or the new baby, or my future in this sordid empire.