Chapter Twenty-Two
Thanh
I knew the conversation would be difficult, but I didn’t expect to feel so much guilt for thinking Jax could’ve done that to me. I’d never be able to forget the look on his face when I’d asked him if he’d done it. The mixture of horror and bone-deep hurt was somehow reflected back at me and my chest ached knowing that I’d injured him so badly.
I could understand his feelings about the accusation, but I also needed some understanding. I had been incapacitated for most of my recovery, and when I came to, my world had been turned upside down. I went through three surgeries to try and correct the damage to my spine and hips, which only ended up injuring me more. Not to mention the four skin grafts to cover the burn scars. All of that before I even got Tohm-Tohm. And then there was all the trauma with that experience.
By the time I was well enough to make decisions about my life, believing what my father had told me was just…easy.
If I’d bothered to look into the crash, to find out what had happened, to even review any of the flight data, I might’ve figured out that Jax had nothing to do with it. But every time I thought about it, I would freeze and break out into a cold sweat. The psychologist told me it was only natural, that I could work up to it. Only I never did. Moving on, putting my life back together separate from my toxic family seemed like a better choice.
I glanced over at Jax as he co-piloted the shuttle down to the market; he’d only spoken to me when necessary as we got ready to leave. His jaw was set, not a trace of the jovial himbo I’d come to know was on his face. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to rail at him and scream that I deserved some understanding.
But mostly I just wanted my Jax back.
“Your what now?”
Shut up.
“Is he? Yours I mean?”
No, of course not! He’s got an ex in every single port, he’s fucked half the Intrepid and I don’t do relationships. So…no.
“Uh-huh. He does look pretty good all roughed up in black though.”
We knew that in order to keep anyone from knowing we were connected to Titus, we’d have to go incognito, no insignias to give us away. We wore plain black pants, boots and shirts, and older model blasters, along with long dusters and hoods to try and hide our faces. Unfortunately, Tohm-Tohm was right, Jax did look edible in these clothes. Even more so than his Gex-Corps uniform, which fit him snug in all the right places.
But when he caught me looking at him, even though I didn’t turn away, Jax did. And his face became even more stormy than before.
I have no idea what to do. I’m mad but I feel bad for his feelings too. This is why I don’t do relationships.
“No, you don’t do relationships because you’re too chicken.”
Fuck off.
Tohm-Tohm made a sound that was suspiciously like a chortle and quieted down as we approached the strange satellite or planet or…whatever the Black Hole Market was. Teneras had said that it was built on a moon that had broken apart. At first, people built only on the half of the moon that was left. But soon, that wasn’t enough and they began building gravity defying structures on the jagged broken side too. Those were a bit less stable and over the course of many decades, the proprietors and smugglers had simply built on top of the structures that had been there before, until half the moon was layer upon layer of old ship hulls and scraps of metal.
The result was a bizarre and somewhat intriguing sphere of silver and gold and bronze that resembled neither a moon nor a planet, but a floating ball of compressed debris. There was a dome that kept in artificial gravity and atmosphere, while a very strict security system ensured that it remained a completely neutral space. Not that crimes didn’t occur, but things such as duels and out right turf wars were frowned up, so much so that if someone fucked up like that, they’d not only be permanently banned, but they’d have most of the outlaws and Pirate Federations in the outer rim on their tails. Hence, why we were going in secret instead of letting anyone know we were with Titus.
As we approached the station outside the dome of the market, Jax sent out our security code. I held my breath, muscles ready to get us out of here if it didn’t work. The shuttle Teneras had loaned us looked rickety as hell, but it had a great engine in it.
“You are cleared, please adhere to the rules and regulations of the market and may fortune smile upon you.”
Even though I was relieved we weren’t being fired upon, my skin still prickled with unease.
“That was a little too easy, wasn’t it?” I asked.
“Not everything needs to be a fight,” Sherrod said.
Jax didn’t respond, just went through the landing procedures and eased us down to a rather strange looking landing pad.
“Are you going to ignore me this whole mission?” I hissed at him before we disembarked.
“I’m trying to be a professional, we have a job to do. Our personal issues come second.”
If he’d told me he was becoming celibate, I would’ve been less shocked. But I recovered quickly and gave him a short nod.
“Copy that…snookums.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked at the nickname and he stepped closer until he was looming over me.
“Hey, you two, if this is some kind of flirting thing, can you do it later? We’re on the clock.”
“We’re fine,” Jax gritted out, “and mind your own fucking business, asshole.”
“Copy that,” Sherrod replied with a smart ass grin.
We stepped down the ramp, to a set of mismatched metal stairs that led down to the market, but the artificial gravity of the place was a little disorienting, as was the hodge podge way that buildings and stalls were collected and built. My feet felt a bit too light for my body and I stumbled. Jax caught me around the waist and for a second his anger slipped.
“Careful there, princess,” he whispered.
I let out a slow breath of relief. He'd been distant in the shuttle, but this time his voice was warmer, a hint of affection.
“I’m okay.”
He nodded and let me go. I had the insane desire to hold his hand as we made our way to the market and I quashed it. We had to focus, not complicate things further with mixed signals and an invitation to another argument.
The very bottom of the stairs led directly into a narrow lane that was packed with sentients. Half of them were Alien species I’d never seen before and the colors of their clothing were a range of plain blacks and browns, like ours, all the way to colors that hurt to look at. Some were tall and so thin that they were barely wider than one of the posts holding up a stall’s canopy. Others were rotund like a tire, and of those, more than a few were translucent, showing globs of organs inside their bulbous bodies.
The stalls were of all shapes and sizes, some resembling small circus tents. Others were square with shallow canopies but all of them were made out of brightly colored fabrics and textiles that I didn’t recognize. Many were wedged into the small spaces between buildings and I wondered how in the world they had enough room to do any kind of business.
The buildings were also a strange combination of styles and materials. Most started as one kind of building material at the bottom, changed into something else halfway up and then yet another kind toward the top. Some leaned precariously over the stalls. Others were straight up, but so tall that it was dizzying. There were some that had residents above the shops with flower pots and brightly colored curtains. Others looked run down and pock marked, as if they’d been fired upon countless times. Clothing hung on lines strung between the spaces and people called to each other from windows as they moved the lines back and forth to hang or take clothes off.
And on top of all this was the smell of thousands of species’ sweaty bodies, smoke from pots and pipes filled with pungent dried herbs, or cloyingly sweet drugs. Spices and yeast, along with the tang of roasted meats, broke up the other scents as we passed by food stalls. I wanted to stop and try the foods on offer, run my fingers over the fabrics and learn about the species I had never met before. I had joined Gex-Corps to explore and fly as far into space as possible. And yet I hadn’t met any new species except for the K’Tavi, and that had been a bit of mixed bag considering half of them tried to kill me.
But here was exactly what I’d always dreamed of; cultures and beings all coexisting, mixing and mingling their lives and histories on a strange little rock. If we hadn’t been on a mission, I would’ve insisted that we take our time here.
“After we’re done with the big mission, you should ask Jax to bring you back,” Sherrod said. “The market can be pretty fun. And he could take you to a Glorsh drama, I bet you’d love that.”
“What’s a Glorsh drama?” I asked.
“It’s like a cross between a Shakespeare play and a boxing match,” Jax answered.
I chuckled.
“You’re on.”
Jax’s feet stalled for a second and a look of pure shock lit up his face. It was only then that I realized what I’d done.
I had promised him tomorrow.
I never did that. Fuck, I barely even promised anyone the next night, and I’d done that with Jax too.
What the hell is happening to me?
“Maybe you’ve found something worth staying for?”
I ignored Tohm-Tohm, because it scared me shitless that he just might’ve been right.
A writhing, barely clad array of dancing Valtoshan females ran through the middle of the lane, passing out flyers and flirting with everyone they saw. Jax and Sherrod’s eyes followed the swaying group and I punched both of them in the arm to get their attention.
“Ow! I was just blending in!” Sherrod protested.
“Yeah, harmless…watching,” Jax said.
Jax’s reaction had me more aggravated than Sherrod’s and I dragged him further down the lane. Between the crowds and the gravity, it was slow moving for me and I was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic. I was relieved when Tohm-Tohm spoke to me, clearer than ever before.
“I’m sensing another Seahdohn close by.”
The Dragon’s symbiote?
“Possibly. I haven’t been this sensitive to others in a very long time. I’m a little off my game.”
That’s alright, we’re both experiencing new things since Narrou healed us. We’ll just take it one step at a time.
“Tohm-Tohm says he feels another symbiote nearby,” I whispered to Jax as we moved around a group of children with baskets of brightly colored fruits on their heads.
“We’re almost to the warehouses,” Sherrod confirmed.
“How can you tell in all this?” I groused.
“I’m taller than you.”
“Don’t be a dick,” Jax said.
“Up ahead is the warehouse district, that’s where we need to be,” Sherrod casually motioned to a large sign up ahead written in several languages.
I was out of my depth, and suddenly the joy I’d felt at exploration was muted by the knowledge that I had no idea what most around me were saying or what any of the signs said. I was completely at the mercy of someone else to help me and keep me safe.
Sherrod took lead, with me following and Jax bringing up the rear of our small group and I slid my hand to the blaster hidden within my duster. It made me feel a little better to have something to defend myself.
When we got to the sign, the path diverged to the left and right, as well as straight. We took the left path and the crowd thinned and changed. Instead of the mix of fabrics and wealth levels, we found ourselves surrounded by beings that obviously had a bit more wealth than the ones we’d just left. They were talking in small groups, some sitting at tables that reminded me of a Parisian cafe. Others were standing by large, ornate pots that looked similar to hookahs. A smaller number were simply standing around. It was these that were the most intimidating since it looked like they were likely guards.
We made our way further down the path with most giving us a cursory glance and then ignoring us. We were nearly at the end of the lane when Sherrod casually walked through the door of a rundown building to our left. It was stale and musty inside, with dim lighting that made the hairs on my arms stand up. Tohm-Tohm stirred uneasily in my consciousness and I gripped my blaster tighter. As my eyes adjusted quickly to the room, I saw that it was a small office-like space with a shabby desk and chairs off to one side, and a door at the far right end. It looked like no one had used this space in years.
“Well, well, look who finally made it,” drawled a female voice from the shadows.
Out stepped a tall, slender woman with dark teal skin and golden, reptilian eyes. Her face was oblong shaped, with tiny nose holes and a thin slit of a mouth. She had no hair, but the top of her head became three jagged parts that looked far tougher than her skin, almost as if bone jutted from her skull. At the base of her neck were two long, thick tendrils that lit up at the ends and twitched, one behind her and one in front of her, as if they were tasting the air.
She moved with a sinuous grace that reminded me of a snake, as the iridescent gold and blue fabric that made up her simple tunic and flowing pants clung to her slim body. When she smiled, I saw two rows of razor sharp teeth.
“Oontash,” Jax said with an amused smile, “this is my mate, Thanh.”
Her head tilted to the side and one of her tendrils reached for me when Jax intercepted it.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Oh, Jax, you’re no fun, you know that?”
“I have a hard enough time handling one of Thanh, I don’t need a duplicate running around.”
Oontash threw her head back and laughed, exposing two narrow tongues.
“Sherrod, you don’t mind me taking a taste do you?” she asked.
“Course not, no one would mistake the copy for the real thing anyway.” He gave her a hard hug and swung her around.
When he put her down I saw how extraordinary this new addition to the team really was. Right before my eyes, Oontash shimmered and became an exact copy of Sherrod.
“No,” Jax said with a firm voice. “I won’t know who to shoot when he gets on my last nerve.”
Oontash laughed again, this time instead of her rich, full throated sound it was Sherrod’s, down to the precise tone.
She shimmered again and this time she was a Valtoshan female like the ones we’d seen dancing and handing out fliers.
“The idiot didn’t screen any of the staff from Madam Rieles,” she said, the Valtoshan tendrils writhing when she shook her head in disgust. “His fuck up is our gain. I’ve gotten you three in, but you’ll need to change to be believable. And don’t worry, you will be staff, not entertainment.”
It took me a moment to realize that she meant that Madam Rieles was likely a brothel. My stomach did a queasy flip, but I stood up straight and caught the bag that Oontash threw my way.
“Hurry up and change, we leave in a few minutes.”
Sherrod dropped his pants, not even bothering to turn around. It wasn’t like I hadn’t changed with the opposite sex before, there was very little privacy on most of the Gex-Corps missions. But Jax’s immediate growl and hot presence at my back made me pause before taking off my clothes.
He stalked around me and grabbed Sherrod by the scruff of the neck.
“What the fuck, man?” he screeched as Jax dragged him to one of the darker corners.
“Turn the fuck around,” he ordered Sherrod before turning back to me. "And don't you dare take anything off until he does."
Maybe because it was habit by now, or I just missed fucking with him, but I started to slowly strip off the duster and my boots while holding his gaze.
“Thanh,” he warned.
“We're just changing, for fuck’s sake,” Sherrod groused.
With Jax standing in front of the smaller Human it wasn’t like he could see anything of me, but I wasn’t sure Jax knew that. So I grinned at him as I took the end of my shirt in my hands and started to pull up.
“Thanh…” Now his growl was very deep and long. “Don’t. You. Dare.”
"What? I'm not doing anything?" I replied with a little smile.
What is wrong with me that it turns me on when he’s like this? Especially after we’ve had a disagreement. It’s like I can’t help getting wet and egging him on.
“Nothing wrong with you. It’s fucking sexy. Keep going, let’s see what he does.”
I yanked the shirt up and threw it to the side. I reached back to unhook my bra next when Jax closed the distance in three long strides, seizing my hand before I could finish.
“No one sees you but me,” his voice was so low I didn’t recognize it. “Do you understand me?”
“You’re not my husband —”
“Yes, I am,” He started to back me away from Sherrod, to the other side of the room. “To anyone and everyone on this mission, I am your husband, your mate, your fucking slave when you’ve got my collar on, and your protector at all times. And no one but me sees your naked body.”
I hated being pinned down or controlled by a partner; nothing made me turn tail and run faster.
Until now.
I had no idea if this was just for show, part of our cover as mates, or if it was real. It certainly didn’t feel like he was pretending, and my body’s reaction wasn’t fake either. Those boundary lines, that had been so clear when we started all this, were faint, almost gone. And the longer he towered over me, pressing me to the wall with his body, the less sure I was that I wanted them back.
I stared up at a snarling, infuriated giant Zorestran male that was so jealous of anyone seeing me that he was about to fuck up a key part of our mission. If I didn’t calm Jax down we weren’t going to get that ship, and we weren’t going to get that stupid engine that was causing so much trouble.
My free hand slid under his shirt and rested on the scorching hot skin of his chest, which was rising and falling, as if he’d been running.
“You’re wrong. No one else touches my body but you,” I took his free hand and slid it inside the front of my pants to my wet slit. “No one else makes me wet like you, or gets to touch this pussy, but you.” I slid his fingers out, not missing the way his pupils dilated as I guided his fingers to his mouth. “No one else gets to taste me but you, or make me come so hard I see the fucking universe beginning and ending. You are the only one, Jax. But for today, if I’m okay with it, I’m getting into this stupid outfit in front of Sherrod. You can gouge his eye out after we’re done, but not before. Okay?”
His mouth slammed down hard onto mine, staking his claim, reaffirming his ownership of my body as his tongue fucked my mouth. I moaned loudly and clung to his shoulders, my cunt so wet that I couldn’t help grinding against his thigh.
“When this is done,” he said against my lips, “I’m not letting you out of our room for at least a week.”
“I thought I was Dom in this…this partnership.”
He grinned at me as if he knew I was about to say ‘relationship’ instead of partnership.
“In the bedroom, you own me, princess.”
“And out here?”
“I want everyone to know who you belong to.”
“Well then, I guess I’ll need to make sure the love bite is on full display.”
He stepped back, that grin I’d come to know so well on his face.
“Which one?”
I chuckled and batted at his chest.
“Go on, I want to see you in a brothel outfit,” I said.
“I’m changing right here,” he glanced back at Sherrod, who I still couldn’t see, “that bastard can kiss my ass if he doesn’t like it.”
We quickly stripped out of our black, slightly worn clothing and attempted to put on the disguises that Oontash had brought. Mine was a pair of very tight short-shorts that my ass almost didn’t fit into, with sheer, loose pants over the top of them. Both were low on my hips, letting my pudgy middle hang a little over the gold waist band. Next was the top which was little more than a halter bikini top that thankfully managed to cup and hold my breasts pretty well. The whole thing was mainly red with gold accents here and there. A pair of gold and red slippers completed the outfit, if it could be called that.
The cool air hit my back and my mind stuttered. This was the first time since getting Tohm-Tohm that I would expose my back in public. I reached back and caressed one of the exoskeleton covered tendrils. A warmth curled through me, Tohm-Tohm trying to ease my nerves.
I feel more naked with my back uncovered than if weren’t wearing anything at all.
“I know. It feels strange to have my exoskeleton too. If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to do this.”
I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. If I told Jax it was too much, he wouldn’t hesitate to let me skip this. But I didn’t want to hide any longer. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Not my scars, not my symbiote. I was more than the sum of my injuries and I wanted to start living like it.
So I squared my shoulders, even though my stomach was still in knots, even though my palms were clammy, and I turned around.
“Well, it’s skimpy that’s for sure,” I said, pushing a tone of playfulness into my words, “and there’s no place to put my blaster but — Oh my god!”
I looked up at Jax and slapped my hand to my mouth to try and hide a snorting laugh.
His ‘outfit’ was a pair of small black and red shorts that were so tight the outline of his sheath was very prominent. His feet had a similar pair of slippers as mine and that was it.
I raised an eyebrow as I made a show of looking him over. While the shorts looked a bit uncomfortable, I had to admit that seeing all of Jax’s enormous, sculpted muscles on full display was rather nice. I’d gotten a pretty good look last night, but I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of seeing his body.
“I think we need to take these back with us,” I said, running a hand down his ass. “You’d look good tied up wearing only this.”
“I was just thinking the same thing about your clothes.”
“Gods and saints help me!” Sherrod groaned. “You two are fucking nauseating. Can we at least finish here before you start eye fucking each other?”
Jax leaned down so only I could hear him, his hand resting on my hip.
“Are you alright with your back showing? I know it’s healed but it seems like it might be uncomfortable for you, since you’re not used to it.”
For a split second, I was sure I’d misheard him. I’d gotten pretty damn good at masking my feelings about my injuries and pain. Most didn’t notice until I was in such discomfort that I couldn’t hide it. But Jax somehow saw right through me.
I swallowed the tension in my throat and pushed back the tears building in my eyes.
“I’m a little worried about it.” The confession was hard to push out of my dry mouth.
“Okay, I’ll handle it.”
“I don’t want to skip the mission,” I hurriedly added.
“I know, I’ll figure something out.”
How long had it been since I had someone helping me take care of myself? Someone who was concerned enough to advocate for me?
So long that I can’t remember the last time it happened.
“Thank you.”
“Hey,” he grinned at me, “we’re a team. I’ve got your back. Get it?”
I snorted at the stupid joke and ducked my head to hide the tears I couldn’t keep from falling.
When I looked up again, I caught Oontash, who was wearing something almost exactly like mine but in blue, watching us from across the room. Her Valtoshan eyes were twinkling as if she were sizing us up. She grinned at me and inclined her head before clapping her hands together.
“We have a problem,” Jax said to her, his hand still on my hip.
“No one will know that she’s got a Seahdohn on her,” Oontash said. “If you let me help.”
Jax’s lips pressed together and he stepped in front of me as if to protect me from the shape shifter.
“Darling,” she crooned, “I would never harm someone so important to you.”
If Sherrod had said such a thing, I’d roll my eyes, knowing he was lying, even though I had only been around him for a few days. But somehow I knew that this female, that I’d just met, was telling him the truth.
I touched his arm, and walked around the wall of his body.
“It’s okay,” I said.
Oontash gave his cheek a soft pat and then put her hands on my shoulders.
“This will be a little uncomfortable, but it won’t hurt.”
My throat constricted and bile tried to worm its way up but I swallowed it down.
“Will it affect my symbiote?”
“No, only hide it. I swear on Carkasha’aun, this will do neither of you any harm.”
I glanced up at Jax for clarification on who the hell that was.
“It’s their main deity.”
“Alright, go ahead.”
I expected touching, or maybe a bite, something to do with her tendrils. I did not expect her to open mouth kiss me. One of her tongues darted in and I felt a sharp sting that dissipated quickly, while the other laved my mouth slowly. When she was done, I felt light headed but it passed quickly. When I could focus again, I noticed that Oontash had her eyes closed and there was a shine from the back of her head. When she opened her eyes, Oontash smiled at me.
“It’s done. The cloaking will last for an hour, anything longer and I’ll need to do the ritual again.”
Tohm-Tohm?
“I’m here. I don’t feel any different.”
I let out a long, slow breath and nodded at Jax, letting him know that everything was alright.
“Um, I think there’s something you might want to hide on me,” Sherrod said with an eyebrow waggle.
“Yeah, like your face,” Jax grumbled.
“Alright, enough of that kind of fun,” Oontash said. “Let’s go over this before we leave. The party will be in the western warehouse, and security will be tight there. The warehouse to the east is where he moved most of his product to and it will have the second highest concentration of guards. So this southern warehouse will be the emptiest, it’s a good staging area. Teneras briefed me on what you’ve worked out before you got here, so Sherrod, you get to the empty warehouse, and start the drone attacks when I give you the signal.”
She handed him an inner ear com and then gave one to Jax and one to me.
“Jax, you and Thanh will need to focus on disabling the power grid here and getting the Dragon. It shouldn’t be that difficult with chaos from the party giving you cover.”
“Famous last words,” Jax muttered.
“What about blasters?” I asked.
“Take them off the dead guards,” Sherrod said.
I balked at the idea of killing anyone and then realized that this was standard protocol. With the way Teneras, Bowie and Narrou had embraced me like family, treating me with respect and kindness, I had to remember that I was, in fact, running with pirates.
Jax took my hand and squeezed, somehow knowing exactly what I was thinking. I squeezed back and gave him a wobbly smile. I’d just have to deal with this side of things.
Should be easy since they’ll be trying to kill me too.
“Let’s go steal some shit,” Oontash said with a giggle.