Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Solenn
The night air felt colder than usual, or maybe it was just me.
Maybe it was the way my entire body felt numb, like my skin wasn’t mine like I was floating outside myself, watching this whole night unfold from a distance.
The pavement beneath my feet felt unsteady, my steps slow, heavy, disconnected from the rest of me.
I should have gone home. Should have curled up in my bed, buried myself under my blankets, and shut the world out until the morning. But instead, I ended up here—standing in front of my family home, staring at the front door like I wasn’t sure I belonged.
The porch light was on, casting a soft glow against the wooden panels, the warm yellow hue stark against the cold darkness of the night. I reached for the doorknob, hesitated for half a second, then pushed it open.
The second I stepped inside, warmth wrapped around me. The scent of chamomile tea lingered in the air, mingling with faint traces of whatever my mother had cooked earlier. The television murmured in the background, some show playing at a low volume. It felt normal. Safe. Constant.
And I hated it.
Because I wasn’t supposed to feel like this here. I wasn’t supposed to walk into my family home and feel like a stranger in my skin.
I closed the door quietly behind me, slipping my shoes off at the entrance.
"You’re quiet."
The voice came from the living room, light but cautious. I turned my head, spotting Bea curled up on the couch, her eyes flicking up from her phone, brows furrowing slightly. Lucas was next to her, setting his video game controller aside. They both stared at me, sensing something immediately.
I forced a smile, one that didn’t quite reach my eyes. "Plot twist—I’ve been possessed by an alien who hasn’t figured out how to do human emotions yet."
Bea arched a brow, unimpressed. "Uh-huh. Try again."
I let out a breath, rolling my shoulders. "What? Can’t I just come home and enjoy the loving embrace of my dear, dear family?"
Lucas snorted. "You haven’t willingly come home on a weekday in months. Something happened."
I scoffed, making my way toward the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water.
"Nothing happened," I said smoothly, taking a sip. "Except, you know, I may or may not have discovered that I’m not the love of my boss’s life and that he has a habit of letting random women shove their tongues down his throat in the workplace. But, hey, I’m fine. Thriving over here."
Silence.
Bea blinked. "Wait. What?"
I waved a hand. "Oh, don’t worry, it was a classic misunderstanding.
I walked into his office, and boom—there he was, locking lips with a woman whose entire personality consists of expensive perfume and the belief that she’s God’s gift to men.
" I let out a sharp, hollow laugh. "I should’ve expected it.
I mean, who was I kidding, right? That a guy like Maverick Spencer would actually?—"
I stopped.
The words got stuck in my throat.
A lump had formed there, thick and heavy, cutting off my voice, making it impossible to keep the joke going. My fingers tightened around the glass in my hand.
Bea stood slowly, her eyes narrowing. "Sol."
I swallowed, forcing another smile. "Honestly, it’s fine. I dodged a bullet. Can you imagine me, settling down with some broody CEO? I’d have to start wearing power suits and discussing stocks at brunch. That’s no way to live."
My mother’s voice cut through the room, quiet but firm. "Solenn."
I exhaled through my nose, shaking my head. "It’s nothing. I mean, sure, I may have let myself get swept up in something ridiculous. And sure, I may have thought that maybe—" My throat tightened. My breath stuttered. "Maybe I was different."
Bea stepped forward. "Sol, it’s okay to?—"
I shook my head quickly, taking another gulp of water as if that would wash away the weight pressing against my chest. "It’s fine. It’s funny when you think about it. I should be thanking him, honestly. Saves me the trouble of?—"
"Solenn."
The way my mother said my name stopped me cold.
Not in a warning. Not in reprimand. In understanding.
She stepped forward, reaching out, her warm fingers wrapping gently around my wrist. "It’s okay to feel hurt."
The words cracked something deep inside me.
Because suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.
The lump in my throat swelled, burning, my vision blurring at the edges. My grip on the glass loosened, my hands trembling. I opened my mouth to say something—to brush it off, to throw out one last joke, to pretend I was fine—but nothing came out.
My chest caved. My shoulders collapsed. My entire body gave in.
A sharp, broken sob tore from my throat before I could stop it.
And just like that, I burst.
The tears came fast, hot, slipping down my cheeks in streams I couldn’t control. My breath hitched, my entire body shaking as I collapsed into the kitchen chair, my hands gripping the edge of the table like it was the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely.
My mother moved instantly, wrapping her arms around me, pulling me close. I buried my face into her shoulder, the warmth of her embrace breaking me even more.
"I was so stupid," I choked out between sobs. "I— I let myself believe that he actually— that I meant something."
"You’re not stupid," she murmured, smoothing a hand over my hair. "You let yourself believe in something. That’s not a mistake."
I squeezed my eyes shut, gripping the fabric of her sleeve tightly.
Lucas shifted awkwardly in the background. "Uh. Should I…?"
Bea shot him a glare. "Leave the room, Lucas."
He scrambled away without hesitation.
I let out another shuddering breath, my sobs slowly quieting, but the ache in my chest remained.
My mother pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "You are allowed to be hurt, Solenn. You are allowed to feel this."
I swallowed hard, my voice hoarse. "I don’t want to."
"I know," she whispered. "But you need to."
I sat there for a long moment, breathing in the scent of home, the feeling of being surrounded by the people who cared about me.
And for the first time since I walked into that office since I saw her kissing him since my entire world cracked apart—I let myself grieve.
Because this wasn’t just heartbreak.
It was a betrayal.
And I wasn’t sure how I’d ever come back from it.