Chapter 25
Ciara couldn’t stop the trembling as the song started and stopped. She hated that song! It was the song her nanny had sung when she’d…when she’d…!
Ciara forced the painful memories from her mind. Unfortunately, the sounds stopped, but the memories remained. She continued walking, trying to pretend that she wasn’t a trembling mass of tension now. She’d only gone five steps when the song started again. Looking behind her, she tried to see who was singing that song. But there was no one in the hallway except her two bodyguards. They looked around as well, then back at her, their eyebrows lifted in polite curiosity.
“Your Highness?” one of them prompted.
Was she losing her mind? There was no one there! The hallway was completely empty. Not even a servant was in view! Of course, the servants usually used the hidden hallways. They weren’t normally allowed in the main hallways, but she knew from hiding in those back hallways that the servants preferred them. It was a space where they could relax and be themselves, laugh and joke about whatever was happening in other parts of the palace, or gripe about their jobs, the annoying guests, their obnoxious supervisors, or whatever was on their minds.
Ciara had always preferred those hallways. They were warm and happy places, filled with light and laughter. The family and guest hallways were always so formal and dignified. She could never let her guard down. Even in her private suite, she had to be the “princess”. Having observed the palace staff relaxing in those servant access hallways, she’d wondered what it would be like to be normal. To not be a princess. To not have someone always watching everything she did, judging her for every damn mistake!
Breathing in slowly, she turned forward and started walking again. For several blissful moments, there was no sound other than the tapping of her heels against the marble floor. Not even her bodyguards made a sound since their shoes were designed for silent and speedy protection.
Walking quickly, needing to get somewhere safe, she hurried down the hallway. Away from that awful song!
As soon as she reached her private suite, she nearly fell onto the nearest chair, burying her face in her hands as the tension turned into sobs. The painfully brutal memories of that time in her life should have been locked away. But that song! Where had it come from? Or had the music just popped into her mind because of the tension of navigating the plans for her brother while also trying to avoid Falk? Or maybe it was because of those long moments in that miserable closet?
“What’s wrong?” a deep voice demanded.
Ciara jerked her head up and watched as Falk stalked towards her, his rugged features a mask of fury. “Who hurt you? Where are you hurt?”
Ciara quickly wiped her tears away, but suspected that her efforts weren’t effective. Was her mascara running? She’d have to reapply her makeup and maybe sit for a bit with some cold spoons on her eyes to alleviate the swelling.
“What are you doing in here?” she asked, but her voice was still raspy from the remembered terror because of that damned song and her sobbing.
“I came here to have some private time with you since you obviously don’t want anyone to know that we’re together,” he explained, then scooped her up into his arms, carrying her over to the sofa.
Ciara tensed, expecting him to initiate sex. So she was startled when he took out a linen handkerchief and gently wiped away her tears. “What’s wrong, Ciara? Are you hurt? Do you need to see a doctor?”
His tender inquiry was her undoing. She’d been tense, ready to reject his advances. So this softer, sweeter side of him just tore her apart. The tears started again and she tried to slip off his lap.
“Stop, love,” he said in his low, husky voice as his hands moved soothingly over her back. “You don’t have to tell me what happened. Just…relax and let it out, love.”
In response, Ciara burst into tears all over again, burying her face against his neck. She felt his arms wrap around her and she tried to stop the outburst of emotions. She knew better than to let something as silly as a song or a memory get to her. She’d gone off to boarding school to escape the brutality of her nanny. She’d healed. She’d recovered and moved on with her life.
Apparently, she hadn’t completely healed if a simple childhood song brought it all back. And a stint in a dark closet. No matter how hard she tried, Ciara couldn’t put that memory back into it’s box.
So she tightened her arms around his neck and cried, sobbing out her trauma for the first time.
A long time later, the sobs slowly died out, but Ciara didn’t move. She should get up and fix her makeup. She’d probably need to redo her hair too. Instead, she sat there on his lap, feeling warm and comforted. She breathed in his clean, masculine scent, enjoying the way he stroked her back.
Finally, sniffing, she tried to pull herself together. “I should…?”
“Relax, Ciara,” he ordered.
Normally, she would balk at a command. But she felt safe at the moment. So she sighed and pressed her nose against the warmth of his neck, accepting his comfort.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope,” she replied succinctly.
“Okay.” And more soft touches.
“Thank you,” she whispered, suddenly ashamed that she’d taken advantage of him like this.
“Anytime,” he replied, and he sounded sincere.
Sighing, she pushed away from him. “What time is it?”
He glanced at his watch. “Three thirty,” he replied.
Ciara cringed. “I’m late. I had a meeting with the chef and Maggie to discuss recipe options.”
“I suspect that Astra is fully capable of guiding Maggie through that meeting,” he countered, smoothing her ponytail down over her shoulder. He touched her cheek. “Why don’t you freshen up, then have a glass of wine with me? You don’t need to tell me what happened. Just relax for a few more minutes.”
Ciara thought that sounded perfect. She smiled and, because she felt so safe, leaned forward and kissed him lightly before pulling back. “Thank you again.”
Then she slid off his lap and hurried to her bedroom where she sat down at her makeup table and repaired the damage her emotional outburst had caused.
When she reemerged, feeling better, if slightly exhausted after the outpouring of emotions, she walked back into the main area of her suite, then came to a screeching halt.
Falk was still there!
“What…?”
“Let’s have that glass of wine.” he smiled, gesturing to the bottle of wine and two glasses.
She stared at the glasses and the bottle, her mouth-watering. “I really should get back to…well, I have things to do.”
“I spoke to your staff and they told me you’d taken the whole week off to help with event preparations. But now that Astra is here, why don’t you let the expert handle that task?” He moved closer, taking her fingertips with his hand, leading her over to the chairs. “She loves this stuff. I spoke to Antonio earlier and he mentioned that she’s in heaven. She hasn’t been this excited in a long time.” He poured some wine into the glasses. “He thought that she’d been happy back in Spain, planning events for the village near their home. But he’s realizing now that she needs more. Astra’s imagination is so vast that he realizes that she needs the mental outlet of planning larger, more elaborate parties.”
“She’s brilliant,” Ciara agreed. “I couldn’t believe it when I called her and asked her if she wanted to help out.” Sipping the wine, she watched Falk over the edge of the crystal glass. “Why are you here?”
“I agreed to be here to support Ramit and Maggie. Their secret wedding has to appear legitimate to the world.” He took a sip of wine, then continued. “Also, we’re creating a sort of political summit while the three of us are here. We’ll be meeting with other global leaders as well.”
She smiled as he leaned forward. “No, I meant, why are you here, in my suite? The torrential tears are over. And I’m so sorry about that. I’m usually better…controlled.”
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
She shook her head. “No,” she replied. Then she leaned back. There was a long silence as she stared down into the wine, her fingers twirling the glass. She thought back to earlier this afternoon. The song. The strange terror that had consumed her. The memories…they still haunted her, even after all this time.
Falk didn’t say anything. He held her hand and waited. Ciara appreciated his silence more than he could know. And because she felt safe, the story seemed to just…flow out of her before she’d made a conscious decision to share it with him.
“An old song popped into my head. A song that my nanny used to sing when she was…instructing me,” she explained, using non-inflammatory words for what had been literally a waking nightmare.
“What was the song?”
She looked up and opened her mouth to tell him that she never wanted to hear the song again. Instead, the lyrics to the song came out. “ I can follow the rules. And we’ll have a …,” she choked on the words. Ciara cleared her throat and continued. “ And we’ll have a good day. When we follow the rules .” She breathed in, closing her eyes to re-balance herself. When she opened her eyes, she wasn’t smiling. “There was more to the song, but you get the drift.”