5. Chapter Five
DEAKAN
Kieran wasn’t in a coma. Apparently, he’d just been sleeping. It was so unnerving not hearing his guitar echoing through the cave passages. Or his crooning when he thinks we’re all out of the house.
But now it’s back, and it has an even more haunting quality to it. It’s beautiful—his voice has that deep rasp that few can channel, as though dragged from the depths of his very soul. Since he’s woken, he’s hardly talked to any of us.
Rose said he was in Aggonid’s Realm—the underworld—after he died.
It was only a few minutes to us, but time moves differently there. Was it minutes to him, too, or was it an eternity of suffering? Who knows? His foul mood makes him barely approachable. He shut the door in Rose’s face when she went to talk to him this morning.
So, it’s no surprise when, as soon as she leaves, he’s pushing through the cave door with a box of his things. Sneakers on, dark gray hoodie, and athletic shorts.
I still, my heart skittering in my chest, feet planted on the ground in front of me, ready to spring into action if needed. “What are you doing with all that stuff?” I ask, my words steady despite the knot in my stomach.
“Moving out.” His response is clipped, final, leaving no room for questions.
This is my best friend. So, I rocket from the couch, sending cushions tumbling to the floor as I skirt around the coffee table to park myself in front of him.
“No, you’re not.”
He pulls up short, almost running into me. “Move.” His word comes out curt yet sibilant, though there’s no ‘s’ in it. It means his serpent is simmering just beneath the surface. But that’s fine—if his beast wants to come play, mine will, too. Whatever it takes.
I grab the box from his hands and use a charm to levitate it away from us, and when he makes to grab for it, I put him into a headlock.
He grunts, trying to shove his shoulders into my gut, but these abs are pure steel. I spend too much time riding waves not to have a solid core.
“What part of ‘you’re not moving out’ is difficult for you to understand?” I growl into his ear, tightening my hold. His fingers dig into my arm, but I don’t let go.
“Get the fuck off me,” he hisses, his entire body coiling with tension. He’s strong as hell, but I’ve got the advantage of both bulk and surprise, and I’m not letting him walk away just because he’s feeling moody. Sure, he could always use his venom on me, but that’s nuke-level, and we aren’t there yet.
“Not until you talk to me.” I squeeze a little harder, enough to make him realize I’m not joking by cutting into his air supply. “You will not disappear on us, not after everything we’ve been through. So, you can either talk now, or we can do this the hard way and I can beat your ass.”
Kieran growls, pushing against my hold, trying to twist free. But I’m a lion, and when I lock on, I don’t let go easily. It’d take someone Jax’s size to give me a good run for my money. Though Chaos could whip all our asses. At the same time.
“You’re crossing a line, Deak,” he warns.
“Good.” I chuckle, feeling the heat of his anger radiate through my grip. I’ll dig under his skin, take up residence, as long as I need to get it through his thick skull. He’s not going anywhere. “Maybe it’s time someone did. Now, are we going to talk this out, or do I have to keep you in a headlock until you calm down?”
The box levitates nearby, bobbing slightly in the air as my charm holds it steady. Kieran’s body relaxes a fraction, a sign that he’s considering his options. I know he could strike out with venom or shapeshift if he really wanted to, but he’s holding back. There’s still a spark of our years-old friendship, buried beneath the layers of his anger and frustration.
“Fine.” He tries to shove away from me. “But don’t expect me to make this easy.”
I ease up, releasing him from the headlock, but I don’t step back. Instead, I keep my hand on his shoulder, less a reminder that I’m here for him, and more of an ‘if-you-try-to-run-I’ll-break-your-legs-to-keep-you-here’, whether or not he wants it. That’s what best friends are for.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” I flash him a quick grin. “Now, let’s sit down and figure out why you’re so dead set on leaving. Because you’re not going anywhere without a fight.” And maybe more than a few broken bones.
He elbows around me before plopping himself onto the couch. I take the other end, face towards him, and toss my hands up.
“You want to leave us?” I swallow down the lump in my throat. Despite all my threats, he’s wounded my pride by trying to leave me. “Are we so bad?” I didn’t see it at first—my innate desire to keep my family together, to maintain the bonds that make us whole. A pride doesn’t turn its back on one of its own, but Kieran seems bent on setting fire to everything we’ve built together.
His eyes snap to mine. “I didn’t say that.”
“So why the fuck are you trying to leave us?” Me, why are you trying to leave me, my eyes beg.
After his parents died, things were really bleak for him. Jax and I spent every waking minute of every day, and even took shifts at night to make sure he was safe. That he hadn’t offed himself. It both splintered our trio and brought us closer together. And the only reason that Jax didn’t also room with us at the academy is because they couldn’t fit a bed big enough in our double room to accommodate him, so we settled by having him right next door. He’s a big dude. And with all that dragon treasure, it made sense he got the large room that he ended up sharing with Rose anyway.
Kieran’s jaw tightens, eyes locked on mine, but his gaze lacks the venom I expect. Maybe he’s also been caught up in a memory. Now it’s like he’s searching for the right words, struggling to articulate what’s really bothering him. Whatever it is, the Kieran I know doesn’t just up and leave without a damn good reason.
“Because I need some space,” he finally grits out, his tone edged with irritation, and the truth hurts. Fuck. He wants away from us? From me? “You all act like everything’s normal, but it’s not. For a long time, I felt like I was being edged out. But I’m not. Took me too long to realize …” He gestures at the levitating box, anger simmering beneath his calm exterior. “I don’t belong here. Never really have.”
“What do you mean?” I lean forward, snatching a pillow off the floor to hug it to my chest. It’s a frilly one that Penelope—Rose’s mouse fae friend—got her for Christmas. It says SNACKS on it, and has little tassels along the edges. Food is their love language. “You’re one of us. We don’t share blood, but we are brothers in every way that matters.”
The only way that matters.
Each of us is an only sibling—save Rose—because of the very low birth rates over the past five hundred years. High King Finian—one of Rose’s dads—left his throne in search of her mother, which fucked with the luna magic that supplies our realm. So now, we’ve all become like brothers.
“Yeah, but you don’t need me anymore. You and Jax have Theo and now Chaos.”
I flinch. "I won’t pretend that I’m not still adjusting to that news … but you’ve got to admit that he’ll be handy to have around.” I shrug. Not a soul is going to fuck with us now. “It’s new. We’ll get used to it, eventually.” As long as my family is together, that’s all that matters.
“Yeah, easy for you to say. I’m still stuck on the outside, feeling like more of a burden than anything.”
“Then you’ve got to talk to her, man.” I gesture vaguely towards the cave. “You shut the door in her face this morning. She’s hurting that you’re shutting her out.”
“I already told her how I feel the day she walked in on me in the shower. Made it crystal clear to her how I felt, and she rejected me. I won’t make that mistake again. It’s best I just cut ties and bounce.”
I shake my head. “She brought you back from the dead!” I grab his shoulders. “And what about me? About Jax?”
He huffs. “You’ve got your new best friend, the professor.”
“If you think that the griffin can replace you, you’re wrong. We each bring something to the table, so why are you so fucking determined to leave the only family you have left?”
He flinches, his reaction sharp enough to ripple through the both of us. I’ve hit a nerve. Losing his parents destroyed him, and it was Jax and I who helped him pull himself back together in some patchwork type of way. Rose is the one who is going to seal all those cracks in his soul—I just know it. We’re all better together.
The only problem is convincing them both of it.
The charm holding the box of Kieran's belongings fails, and his stuff falls to the ground. Trinkets, a bong, tons of guitar picks, several jars filled with various potions, a laptop, and some clothes. I frown, confused. I must have lost concentration, but that’s never happened before.
“Shit, my bad.” I make to stand so I can clean up the shattered glass from his jars of potions, but Kieran stops me.
“Forget it.” He waves me off, dismissing my offer of help, and then casts a charm. A small tornado materializes above the pile, its spiral pulling in the scattered pieces with surprising efficiency. Clothes, shards of glass, guitar picks, and all the rest are swept into the vortex, moving in controlled spirals until they’re neatly collected in the box. As the wind dies down and the charm fades, everything is back in place, though the tension remains.
I haul open the cave door anyway, and use another charm to send the box through the tunnels and back into his room. As it disappears down the hallway, I hear a loud thud, followed by the distinct clatter of objects scattering across the stone floor. Damn, twice in one day? Why does this keep happening? I'm pretty sure I've seen a few domestic charms fuck up for the others lately, so it's not just me getting rusty. Kieran raises an unamused eyebrow at me, his expression as exasperated as the crash that echoes back to us.
“Are you finished?” He glares at me.
I cross my arms, puffing out my chest. “Are you?”
“I’ll stay.” He studies me for a moment before continuing. “But if you think things between Rose and me will get better,” he shrugs, “I bared it all to her and still, she turned me down. I’ll just keep to myself.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I do.”
“But K?—”
“Do you know what it’s like to be in love with someone and watch them love everyone else? Her best friends, her professor, and now a god? Not just any god but the one who created it all? She’s got room for everyone but me.”
“Kieran,” I start, but he’s already shaking his head, his expression both wounded and resigned.
“It’s not like I’m blaming her for choosing someone else,” he mutters, eyes fixed on the ground as if the words are etched into the stone. “She deserves the best. But it’s hard to stand on the sidelines and watch everyone else get what I want.”
I take a deep breath, letting his words sink in. This isn’t just about Rose—it’s about all the rejection Kieran has faced in his life. His parents’ deaths, his grandma’s imprisonment, and the constant reminders that he doesn’t quite fit in.
“You belong here.” I close the cave door so we’re standing in the corridor and prop myself against it, as though to physically keep him from thinking about what’s beyond the confines of our home. “No matter what happens with Rose or anyone else, you belong with us. You’re family, and we don’t turn our backs on family. You know that.”
Kieran lifts his gaze, eyes narrowing slightly as if searching for a lie in my words. “I’m just tired of feeling like the odd one out,” he admits, his tone raw. “Like I’m on the fringes, always watching from the outside.”
“Then stop doing that,” I reply, my voice firm but not unkind. “Come back in. Talk to us. Talk to Rose. You don’t have to do this alone. We’re here for you—Jax, Theo, me, all of us. You don’t have to keep to yourself. And don’t even think about leaving.”
His lips twitch with just the slightest hint of a smile. “You really think I can just hear you all getting her off each night and everything will be fine?”
“No,” I admit, giving a small shrug. “But we’ll figure it out together. She hardly ate or bathed while you were sleeping. Just kept vigil. That has to mean something.”
“Yeah, I guess.” He looks down the hallway, where his box of belongings is spilled just outside the entrance to the cavern he calls his room. “You’d better get that sorted,” he says, nodding toward the mess I made.
I grin, relieved to see him relax a little. “I’ll handle it. But you’re coming with me. We’re not letting you slip away that easily.”
Kieran sighs, but it’s a resigned one. “Fine. But you’d better pick me up a new bong.”
“Deal.” I laugh, clapping him on the shoulder. If he’s in the mood for blowing bubbles, he’s not going to find any drugs in this house again. At least nothing stronger than dreamroot or whispweed. “Sorry about that. But I’d do it again.”
As we walk towards his room, I make a mental note to talk to Rose. If anyone can seal the cracks in Kieran’s soul, it’s her. The rest of us? We’ll keep him from shattering until then.